Dp

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Heather Love, Jun 19, 2015.

  1. Heather Love

    Heather Love New Member

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    How can I know if my husband really wants to live out this fantasy we both have to do DP ? Or is he just getting off on the talk of doing it with men about doing it to me?
     
    #1 Heather Love, Jun 19, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2015
  2. Meee

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    Welcome to the forums.

    And now the answer: Ask him. "So...would you ever want to...you know...like...do this?"
     
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  3. glock27

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    Are you saying having another man in the room to dp you?
     
  4. Heather Love

    Heather Love New Member

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    We have discussed it and even agreed on some guys but then he starts saying that maybe we should't try so hard to do it and if it happens it happens. And when I agree with him he turns and say that I'm scared and am all talk that I don't really want to so let him know if I change my mind.
     
  5. Meee

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    Nothing personal, and I haven't had a lot of time to get to know you and your situation, but it sounds like the communication in your sexual relationship sucks.
     
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  6. WizardTongue

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    Sounds like you two need to really sit down and open up to each other about what you both want. My wife and I were having the same problems in essence. I have a fantasy about her being dp'd but she wasn't to sure about it. But we sat down together and talked about it and finally introduced her to anal for the first time and now she is craving the dp as well. We haven't gotten to fulfill that fantasy yet but thats because its so damn hard to get someone to watch the kids for us. When we did discuss it we both brought up the fact that we want to attend a swingers club and all kinds of stuff. That all being said you two just have to talk to each other and tell the other what you want. That's my 2 cents worth!!! Hope this helps.

    Welcum to SF!!!!! Enjoy
     
  7. whybother

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    Sounds like you both are looking to spice things up but are hesitant to bring in an outside party. If you are hesitant, it is a bad idea. frought with pitfalls. I suggest spicing it up with a nice big dildo. she gets the feeling of being filled in both holes you get to feel like there's another dick inside her, and if you guys love it, maybe you can take the next step. Just tread carefully.
     
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  8. Heather Love

    Heather Love New Member

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  9. Heather Love

    Heather Love New Member

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    We have talked about openly and honestly I love anal thats not a problem . We have done other things we are both extremely sexuall and very combatable sexually. We feel in love from the beginning which neither one of us expected we have only been together for a few months we are not married yet all though I say he is my husband we both know we are going to marry down the road.
     
  10. Heather Love

    Heather Love New Member

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    we have done it all trust me. thats why I dont understand why is pulling back some.
     
  11. Heather Love

    Heather Love New Member

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    That's where your wrong we communicate great and talk freely about everything . Thats why he throws me off., IDK MAYBE I'M WRONG. But thanks for your input.
     
  12. whybother

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    Simple because it involves bringing a third person in which upsets the equilibrium.
     
  13. WizardTongue

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    yeah could be he just isn't ready yet. don't rush it. let it happen naturally.
     
  14. nicelynoosed

    nicelynoosed Member

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    I will usually suggest priming the pump, so to say, in most situations regarding hesitation, shyness, or worry. A lot of hangups can be overcome by taking the time (weeks, months or years, not minutes or hours) to get used to the idea of the situation. When you're in bed, keep up the talk in ways that compliment him but include your desire too. "I love your cock so much that I wish you had a twin so that you could screw me at the same time." It's a bit wordy, but you get the idea. If you stress that it's his dick that's turning you on so much, then he will probably feel better about bringing another guy in.

    Some men like strong women who have a ton of desire, others like to feel in control and to treat their partners like dirty tramps in the bedroom. 'I love fucking you!' and 'I love how you fuck me!" may have the same meaning, but very different tones.

    From my own experience, I can tell you that it's probably not going to be a perfect situation if you just pick a guy at random from SDC or AFF or one of the other sites. My wife and I had an itch we wanted to scratch and found another couple to 'play' with. While we had a good enough time, it wasn't the spectacular experience we'd hoped for. Everyone will have a better time if they're comfortable with each other.

    I wouldn't be above bartering, either. Trading fantasy fulfillment can be terrific fun. If the guy-guy-girl thing happens, does he get to have a girl-girl-guy threesome too? That takes some of the danger out of it, surprisingly, since it won't be just one person entering into your relationship, but a series of people you're doing together.

    Lastly, try to take some outside perspective too. Being together 'a few months' may be enough to form a bond that won't suffer from including other people, but I think it's unlikely. A ton of the folks on here are married and even more of them have been with their SO's for long enough that wild kinkery is a flavor to share, not the whole shebang. Don't go too fast.

    Good luck!

    NN
     
  15. Anotherday

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    I know that when my wife and I reduscovered each other several years ago we began openly talking about our fantasies. We both had many mutual ones including her being with more than one at a time. But, being very honest with ourselves and each other we also decused that those fantisies should just remain fantasies. Just wasn't for us.

    Best thing to do is to get a straight answer be completely sure both of you are on the same page fully understanding the ramifications it could have on your relationship.

    I'd it's decided to pursue, then enjoy yourselves.