dot dot dot ha ha ha --my thread: part 23489--

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Jayce, Jan 2, 2007.

  1. Jayce

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    A1 - you were so fucking right, bro. Now it's time Jayce makes a longass thread!

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So let's talk about how damn right exciting that my new years eve was! WOOOOO I'm smiling just thinking about it. So anyway, there's this girl I work with. Let's call her Shirley, since Shirley is a cool name and all. So Shirley and I have worked together for two years, however we haven't really hung out outside of work together. In fact, I didn't see her that often inside of work. Maybe once every 2 weeks or so, and even then it didn't mean I was working WITH her, I just worked in the same plant and we'd have break at the same time. We often had lunch together and would just talk. We sort of clicked, and were always very friendly with one another.

    So then one day we were talking about computers. That lead to email, which lead to exchanging email addresses, which lead to sending emails to one another, which lead to phone numbers, calling each other, and eventually a date out to the mall. Then bowling, then dinner, etc. So things were going well. I admit I didn't know EVERYTHING about the girl but things were going well. So I asked her out and she didn't decline. We dated for 3 weeks.

    So we got together yesterday and were talking. She bluntly asked me how I thought everything was going. I said, well fine, why? Then I sensed something was wrong, so I asked her. I said somethin's buggin ya, what's the matter? She said well, I don't know. She said I made the mistake in past relationships of not talking about things then they were bugging me so I just made a decision to myself to not let that happen again, and for some reason I just felt the need to ask that. So I said well, tell me everything that's on your mind. I reassured her she can say anything without offending me and she should tell me how she feels, and she did. She said well, in past relationships, I've only dated guys who I've been friends with for a while, and that seemed to work out better.

    Then she dropped another bombshell that actually bothered me. She said I dated my ex for six months, and I admit I still think about him from time to time. You dated your ex for five YEARS, and I can't imagine that you don't think about her from time to time. I said well, like any other human would, I do think about her now and then, wondering if she's okay and if everything in school is going well for her. She said well, I don't know, maybe it's just a lot to take in, I just get the vibe that you're still connected to her, and I can't help but to think that you spent five years with her. She said, I know she's part of your history and you can't change that, but with how I felt about my ex after six months I can't imagine what it's like with you and five years. I said well, I understand that, but I'm over her. I said some things happened in that relationship that just burned any bridges of getting back together, and I just don't think her and I could of ever worked it out. Trust me, I tried, with all that time under our belts I tried my damn best, but it didn't work, so I knew it wasn't meant to be. She just kind of smirked and was like, well, maybe... I just want to get a better feel of everything first. It's just a gray area yet.

    Then she also said I just don't feel like we have a lot of commonground to really build a relationship off of. I said well, what do you mean? She said well, I'm not so sure that we have that many common interests. I had a shocked look on my face I guess, cause she said, well that obviously surprised you, tell me what you think.

    I said well, I thought we had quite a lot in common. Granted our music interests are a LITTLE different and our career choices in what we're studying in college are a ways off (environmental geologist vs network administrator) however, I thought we did have a bit in common. I mean, we both like going to simple places like Borders and sipping coffee while reading some books, we both love hiking and mountain biking, we just haven't had much of a chance to really do that with the fact it's been so cold lately. I said I do admit, it would of been world's easier to start this in say, April or May, when we could of easily went out to the trails, but now around the time of Christmas certainly made it difficult. But I just thought I'd give it time and we'd be fine then.

    She said well, maybe you're right. But I'm just not sure. She said maybe we should take it back a notch and be friends, and see where that goes. I said well, if that's what you want I certainly respect it and I'll still do what I can to be there. Then she said, well I really appreciate that, and you have no idea how much it means to me that you didn't push me into anything physical, it says a lot about a person who knows how to treat a lady. I said well, I do what I can (with a smile). She said let's just be friends and see what happens with that, okay? I said all right.

    Then we ended up staying in my car for 2 hours and talking. We had a good time. And we talked about some insanely personal things, like I don't think she really had a close friend to talk to like that before. Because we were talking about really sensitive things, and it got to the point where she was asking me some questions that, well, only a male would be able to answer. And I just smiled and talked with her. It was obvious she was extremely comfortable with me.

    But at the same time, it kind of bugs me. I know you shouldn't assume anything, but there's this other guy. I'm nearly positive he's just a buddy, but I know she has a class with him at school. She went hiking with him once or twice in the last month, and yesterday went to see a parade with him. Like I said, I'm nearly positive he's a buddy, but I wonder if he is somehow causing a hinderence in the way she feels about everything. But I think if she really felt like there was someone else, that she would of said. She's extremely blunt with the way she talks, so that gives me assurance that if this other guy IS a "threat" that she would of admitted it, however she said nothing about him. In fact she didn't even talk that much about him before her and I hooked up when we were just talking and being friendly with one another.

    Anyway, what to do, what to do. I guess for now I'll just do what I can to establish that common ground. I guess what she was saying is, when we started the relationship she just kind of felt like she was floating. She didn't feel as though there was a concrete foundation we could build off of. Looking back, I guess she was right, however I really liked her and everything just felt right. But I guess for now all I can do is just spend time with her. Continue going to borders with her now and then, finding a time her and I can go for a hike on a nice day, etc etc. That way she'll get a better feel for me, how I feel about things, etc, and maybe MAYBE we can get back together sometime soon.

    I hope this can work out. It's disheartening looking back on all the bad luck I've had lately, but it's about time something goes my way. I hate to sound like a stubborn ass about it but I just feel like there's gotta be something to go in my favor for once. But all in all, the majority of me believes that she just wanted to get a better feel for everything, and didn't want to repeat any past mistakes that happened in past relationships. That's why she was so open with me and suggested taking it back to being friends. At least, that's what I think. I think she likes me still, and she's said time and time again how nice it is to have a gentleman hold the door for her, and for once respect her as a woman. She said she liked how I didn't push her into anything physical, which I guess gives me some brownie points.

    Thoughts?
    Comments?
    Concerns?
    Ideas?
    Opinions?
    Suggestions?
    Beer?
     
  2. AnonymousOne

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    *sits back and basks in the fact that he was right* :lol
     
  3. Jayce

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    Hey bro, I never denied it! I just didn't want to post a longass thing in that thread since it wasn't mine, hence my own creation! Muahaha.
     
  4. pirouette

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    Jayce. Either you have too much time on your hands to analyze things or you really are far more cerebral about your relationships than I thought. I'm sorry you aren't happy being single at the moment. It doesn't sound like this new-but-recently-ended relationship is going anyway. Hang in there. ;)
     
  5. Jayce

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    Eh, I'll give it another shot. I mean, she's cool as shit, so I want to at least be friends with her. I'm hoping in time we can try things out again if we establish a commonground between us as friends. I mean, that's kind of what she said anyway.
     
  6. misty_gurrl

    misty_gurrl New Member

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    OMG!!! .. after reading all of that .. all i can say .. is ... OMG!! ..

    You know since you mentioned it .. go for that beer, Jayce!! ..*LOL*

    and never talk about favorite colors.. with her
    especially .. Pink .. it might reeeeally ruin the moment .. *LOL*

    Dammn i just peed in my pants .. from laughing soo hard!!

    Thanx!!!!
     
  7. Bluesy

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    Good attitude. Don't put your life on hold, but don't give up hope, either.
     
  8. Jayce

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    So yeah. Went out tonight. Had a great time. Things look better... but I still have a gray area of determining whether she's into me or just not sure. I make her laugh a lot, I say things that make her go "aww" and she sounds excited to find a time where we can hang out again.

    I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope...
     
  9. Jayce

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    OKAY. So...

    We went out again today. Had a nice time taking a leisurely walk. Next week we're going to get together, I believe.

    But I was thinking. Should I just ask the girl what she thinks of me? I figured if I ask her what she thinks of me during a real mellow time when we're both relaxing, alone, etc, that maybe I'd get a real honest down to earth answer. I mean, it's not like I'd be pressuring her into dating me again. I just want to know if she feels anything for me.

    Sound good? Bad? Ugly? Gorgeous?
     
  10. AnonymousOne

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    I'd wait and see how this next 'get together' goes. If things go well, just prod a little bit. Just my thoughts though man.
     
  11. Jayce

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    When you say prod, do you mean bluntly ask her if she feels anything for me, or possibly sees us being more than friends someday? Or do you mean in more of a subtle manner?
     
  12. AnonymousOne

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    I mean be subtle and incredibly delicate about it.

    You want to let her to know that you're still interested, but not that you're following her around like a puppydog trying to get her back.
     
  13. Jayce

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    Then maybe I should just keep doing what I'm doing.

    Our main means of communication is by email, with the occasional phone call when we're planning on getting together. But I always make it a point to compliment her when I do see her, and I say little things here and there suggesting I still care.

    I guess we'll just have to wait. I wonder though, like... "when the time comes" to say something again... I wonder how that'll go. Blah. I wonder if she'll bring something up on her own that she wants to try it again or if I'll have to break the ice.