Don't quite understand girls.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Pride, Aug 6, 2008.

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  1. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    HORRIBLY SORRY BOUT SOOOOO MUCH TO READ



    Anyways i was dating this girl. And she well cheated on me after swearing that she thinks thats the lowest thing a person could do. And how she would never do that and blah blah...one night she fucked some other dude apparently she was saying that he was pushing for it and finally she gave in after they had been drinking together...but i hear that he had all kinds of hickeys and everything..and shes like "yeah it got a little carried away"

    Then the day after i didnt know all of this...she went on a guilt trip and said i made her feel like a terrible person and make her think less of herself becuz i didnt trust her fully and shit. Which honestly is true...she has been with quite a few guys and she is pretty young especially for the number IMO.

    And she swears up and down that she really cared about me. And whatever...but made me feel like shit then i found out from her best friend that she cheated...the day after she sends me on this guilt trip.

    And well to cut that story short..we ended up kind of talking and i basically told her that id be willing to give her another chance but she had a lot to prove first.

    After all this i didnt really care if we hung out or talked or anytihng. And then slowly over the course of a couple days we started hanging out a lil more and talking more on the phone and such.

    I mean her and her mom and stuff told me how she deeply did actually care for me. And the girl was crying a lot. And it seemed real though im quickly learning it often isnt. But i mean she was even crying like when the "conversation" we had about it all face to face was getting better.

    So anyways a couple days after we do this i have a friend that we kind of tried to hook up with her friend and basically the girl im supposed to be with talked to him A LOT. texting and stuff like everytime id metnion something shed be like "i know i talked to bryan"

    So it didnt bother me too much cuz i trust my friend but still dont trust the girl. Though i really wanted things to work out. It just seemed liek it could have been something good ya know...and i get scared that i could lose something good.

    But we all went to this commedy show i had tickets for...both our friends (supposed to be their date) and me and "my girl" and during the show the comedian asked me and "my girl" if we were back together becuz preveiously he asked if we were dating and said no we used to so he asked if we were going to get back together and i said "i dont know we will see" and she called me an asshole. Like whatever you fucked up not me.

    After the show i had a party to go to but a bunch of people didnt like my friend (im also friends with the peopel that dont like him) but i have always told him i have his back anyways. But i was going to go to this no one else was really doing anything so i was like...this is where im going whoever wants to come with can come...we had 2 seperate cars...and "my girl" decides to ride with my friend and his "date" her friend.

    which honestly kind of pissed me off but im like w/e its no big deal. so then im there..ive all ready been drinking and stuff and have been ther e for like half an hour and i get ahold of them and like "where you at" appartnely they stopped by my friends "dates" house so she could change or something...like w/e

    they eventually get there and all of a sudden a window breaks on the door...apparently they had arrived and i didnt know it and a mob of like 15 peopl echased my friend out cuz ONE person had problems with him...anyways long story short i handled the situation by myself...(i kind of have a lot of pull it weird but people will listen to me) and made everyone leave him a lone so he could get his car cuz he ran into the woods...it was kind of out in the middle of no whereish.

    and the girl i was supposedly with and cared so much about me...all i heard out of her mouth was her being worried for my friend..she never once seemed to care if everything was alright with me..infact even went so far as crying bout it..and blaming me "you said you wouldnt let anytihng happen" and i pretty much said this "w/e bitch shut the fuck up" and well i was starting to SNAP and im the kind of person who when this happens i black out. and dont have full controll over myself. And can get a lil psycotic to be honest i wont even lie.

    But we go looking for my friend and shes in the back seat and kept demanding i do shit which was pissing me off...and seemed to show NO concern or ANYTHING else towards me even after i made a couple comments she didnt even say anything back and i KNOW she heard me. something like "why dont you go fuck him obviosuly he matters more to you" and blah.

    Well as it turns out i kick her out of my car in the middle of no where...and she didnt seem to care didnt say one word but grabbed her purse and got out...

    and this was on like the 1st or 2nd i think was the day after and i havent talked to her since...she hasnt tried to contact me nor i her.


    And then im sure you guys know of myspace...well the next day as her myspace "status" she puts "yeah, i pretty much knew he was that psycotic, i told you so...but happy everyone's alright." And as her "mood" she put "Jolly"


    And well sorry for the novel i just felt some things needed to be explained tho they arnt well becuz i didnt want too much for people to read.


    But basically like i said no1 has contacted the other and tho i can easily get girls (had one over last night) and im also talking to her best friend..but not about her.

    But like i wont even lie...everytime the phone rings i want it to be her. Though i dont exspect it. And i really want to call her but...i mean but it seems it would just be better if we never had any contact again....liek i keep thinking oh she will call in a few days but im sure she wont. And im afraid to call her...and also it shows weakness to me..and like i didnt do anything wrong..why should i call. i figure if she cares then she will call. But i just dont know if she does care or ever really did.

    I just dont know if i should give it a few more days..cuz it hasent even been a week. Friday will be a week. Or if i should "man up" and give her a call and see what she says. I mean she constantly texts my friend...infact just yesturday asked him if he thinks shes a whore..and he said "i dont know you like that" its kind of what he does. And i know he dont want a DAMN thing to do with her...especially in anyway like that. But he dont really talk much bout that and i havent talked to her friend bout it to see how she feels or if she even knows...

    But to make it simple....should i give her a call?..or just let it be and let it die...and the big question is...did i overreact?...i mean she REALLY seemed far more into him than me as of late...and is always texting him...though i know she just loves to text too.
     
  2. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    First thing first, she cheated on you. You're in the right not to be 100% trusting of her anymore, and she can kiss your ass if she thinks otherwise. That said... *goes into devil's advocate mode*

    It is entirely possible that you overreacted. I have close friends of the opposite sex that I don't date, and back when I still was dating a girl, she knew that if any of them were ever in trouble, needed anything, et. al. I'd be there in a moment's notice, be concerned for them if they were having a hard time, etc. That didn't mean that I cared about my gf any less, and she was ok with that. Many of my female friends have similar relationships with their other male friends. Such may have been the case of your gf and your other friend.

    Was she wrong to basically blame you? I think so. But her concern for your friend is not unjustified. Now I believe you that you said you intended to have your buddy's back, and I know full well that sometimes shit happens before you can react. Thats what your gf needs to realize.

    From that point on in your story, I'm sorry but it reads to me like an average day of high-school teen drama. Moral of the story, everyone makes mistakes. Was it kind of you to give your GF a second chance? Yes, I'd probably have done the same. Was it right for you to treat your gf at the party like you did? I'd have to say no. Instead of getting pissed, you should be smart enough to say "ok, give me a moment to get my thoughts together," cool down for a minute, Drink a cup of coffee to sober up and go forward from there.

    If you want my .02 on what to do here, I'd apologize to your gf (and to your buddy, if you havn't done that one already). As for staying with her, that depends on 1) if she even wants to (she's pissed at you, but I'm gonna assume that she does), and 2) if you want to. Fights happen in relationships, and ugly ones, like this, are par for the course, unfortunately. Its how you go about things afterwards. IMHO, what you described is most likely an overreaction on your behalf due to your damaged trust in your gf. But hey, thats my opinion, and its your call. But whatever you decide, I personally think you owe her an apology for your attitude, if its anything like the way it came across in what you typed out here.

    Jokingly Edited: Oh, and cut back on the "like" and "w/e"...seriously...you sound like you're from SoCal, not Florida :p
     
  3. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    Thanks a lot for the input...and i agree with much of what you said espeically the high school drama shit. I'm done with school but the girl will be a sr this year. And actually i had my friends back pretty well i mean i got everyone to go back to the party and stop camping by the woods..and made sure no one went after him, also they wanted to destroy his car pretty much and i made damn sure they didnt touch it. And they also wanted to camp by his car and i made sure that he got his car fine..i did a good job...hoenstly i got the news a few seconds after they started chasing him from the 2 girls we were with...and i immediatly jumped the rail on the deck and started running that way without hesitation.

    But like...i mean i just am so unsure if she cares at all about me or anything of the sort. And i agree i very well could have overreacted...but like i mean...it just seemed so one sided..i realize i wasnt the one that was chased but i was more than just involved...luckily people respect me. It just doesnt seem my girl did.

    And i have talked to my friend and we are cool. I didnt apologise to him. Though cuz i dont feel i had any reason. But i did apologise to my girls friend becuz i scared the FUCK out of her and she was crying and frankly i was treating her HORRIBLY. but i talk to her a lot now.

    And i actually live back in michigan now..guess i should change that lol
     
  4. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    You know, I was rereading the 2nd half of your post just now and I'm sorry, but I have to berrate you further.

    You're talking to her best friend, and not about her. WHAT?

    You had a girl over last night. WHAT?

    You think that you did nothing wrong? WHAT? (granted i already pointed that out in my first reply)

    You think calling her makes you weak? I think Dreama is about to come kick you in the balls, my friend. Or Miss Thorina might use her hammer on them...I'm not sure which.

    Pardon my bluntness, but what the hell do you think you're doing, and who the hell do you think you are? Man up. And the first step in that process is to admit that you're at fault in this predicament as well.

    Look, you obviously care about her. You gave her a 2nd chance after she cheated. You want it to be her on the other end of the phone. But damnit, if you care even one iota, then you will pick up that damn phone and call her yourself. And like I said last time, you owe her one hell of an apology.
     
  5. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    well. Yeah i talk to lots of girls...and we wernt technically going out even on this night...and sure as hell arnt now.

    I am doing what i gotta do as far as othe rgirls go. I talk to A LOT of girls anyways.

    So i dont know whats wrong with me talking/hanging out with other girls right now.

    And yeah i think it makes me weak becuz i keep giving in. Like when she cheated...you have no idea how much i get ran over by girls becuz i always give in. Whether i care or not. They always end up doing it again. and again and again.

    And like i know i was the ONLY one in the wrong that night...and she is still constantly texting my friend and shit...


    i mean im not arguing i obviously want to call her im just not sure if i should...





    EDIT: I called her...got her voicemail dont know if she jsut didnt want to pick up..or maybe she is at work.

    But i left a message that was something not exactly but like this "Hey its Pride (used real name of course) i dont entirely know exactly why i called you, but it honestly took a lot to do so. I know you probably dont want to talk to me or anything and if thats the case then i guess it is what it is...but you know the number. C-ya."

    I just didnt know what to say i know thats not good but w/e. I tried.
     
    #5 Pride, Aug 6, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2008
  6. FlirtyChick

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    Too much drama for me!
     
  7. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    OK, I'm usually a pretty nice guy to just about everyone...but I'm afraid I'm about to come across as a real jerk. Pride, you are an adult now (or you're supposed to be)...act like it.

    1) Please learn how to type in reasonably standard American english. Your posts come across as gibberish...they are difficult to read and understand, that's why you don't tend to get very many responses.

    2) I can tell from reading your posts that you have some serious insecurities. Sounds like manifestations of those insecurities are jealousy, anger, and expecting your GF to cheat on you. Grow up. When you put a death-grip on someone, it MAKES them want to run away. When you punish someone for something they're NOT doing (like repeated accusations of cheating), it gives them a motivation to cheat that they might not have had before (since they're already being "punished" for it). And when you needlessly vent anger on your girlfriends, those who have any self-respect will quickly dump you.

    3) You are young. Your girlfriends are young. You don't know what you want yet, and neither do they. Some of your girlfriend's are going to cheat on you....you'll probably cheat on some of your girlfriends. There will be drama. Get over it...it's life. Learn from it. Let it make you grow. Accept it for what it is, and move on.

    4) You should really call the girl and apologize for the way you treated her at the party. Yeah, I know she cheated on you, and you probably treated her that way because of it...but guess what? Two wrongs just don't make a right. If a boy your age EVER treats my daughter like that when she's the age of this girl...I will drag his ass outside by the balls, rip his head off, and piss down his neck. It doesn't matter how old I might be by then either...if I have to put down my cane long enough to pay two big friggin' bubba's to do it for me, I will. Women should be treated with respect, even when they might not fully deserve it. I detect some things in you that YOU really need to come to grips with or you'll end up in prison one day for wife-beating, or some similar act of violence.

    There, I've said what I have to say. If you don't like it, you don't like it. Try to look past what you don't like for what you know are truths however.

    BD
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Whew! WAY to much reading for this A.D.D. woman.

    This is just an outside observation... but bottom line is this: I doubt you'll ever find a woman (girl) of substantial character within the boundaries of the type of friends you seem to be hanging with. Sounds like ALL of these acquaintances have real "trust" and "loyalty" issues - - not to mention the "pack mentality" displayed at the party.

    jmho
     
  9. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    She has slept with over 10 guys now...i mean no matter how you put that...or who you ask people have to admit that she is a WHORE. Under any circumstances.

    And i did call her and try...called again today...leaving a message

    "hey you obviously still arnt trying to talk to me, but i think its kind of rediculous since your the one that fed me all of this stuff b4 about chances and everything...though im not asking for a 2nd chance still at least i had the decency to pick up the phone and even come over to talk to you bout it cuz thats what you wanted...i guess i dont get the same courtesy."

    She called me back and was a TOTAL bitch...and just told me to never call her again...whats messed up is the phone she is using is one i gave to her.

    And i was like oh yeah pretty rediculous how u exspect everyone to give u second chances but i dont deserve one...or even the right to talk about it after all of the chances and everything i have given her..she is the lowest kind of person.



    And BTW..not to be argumentative. but honestly BD. I dont care about my typing. Because i have seen far worse...and last time i checked i passed English and this isnt english class. My typing isnt that bad...i dont use periods often or commas or anything of that sort...but id rather not. And i know my spelling is terrible but that isnt going to change anyways.
     
    #9 Pride, Aug 7, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2008
  10. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Dude...in one breath you are concerned about whether she cares about you or not, and in the next breath you are calling her a whore. Now, you tell me...where's the real problem here?

    One of my college girlfriends was a total hotty, a sweet girl, and a fabulous lay. She cheated on me while we were together with one of my "friends". I felt hurt, I was pissed for a while, but I forgave her and we became good friends (and almost ended up back together once after that, at least for a good thrashing on a sandy moonlit beach). I never called her an ugly name, I never treated her in a totally disrespectful way, and I never treated her with aggression, even when I was pissed at her over it. When you're young, these things happen.

    She fucked someone else, I kinda dumped her, and she ended up dating him for a while. It's not like we were married or anything, ya know? We were just dating. (And ya know, if I'd been as secure in myself then as I am now, I'd probably have told her "why don't we have a threesome with the other guy?" rather than dumping her.) Just accept it, and either forgive her and let it go, or just move on. You can't pick something in between. These things happen, learn from it and move on.

    BD
     
  11. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    she is what she is. im not saying it out of anger or anything of the sort. I have told her this to her face. Im sorry. But over 10 guys... She has no respect from any guy i know for a fact. They see her as an easy lay. And trust me she wasnt very good of a lay.

    She is trashy...plain and simple. And im over it. like i have said i have no shortages of girls i could be with...so thats no big deal just it pisses me off honestly.
     
    #11 Pride, Aug 7, 2008
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  12. AnonymousOne

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    Damn dude ... you need a lot less drama in your life.
     
  13. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    And a lot more respect. Both for yourself, and women.

    Seriously, Pride. If you're looking for props from us, you've lost all chances of that. I'd suggest less of your own screen name and replace it with a heavy dose of humility and maturity.

    Look, man. You say she called you back and acted like a "total bitch". Judging by your message, you deserved every ounce of it. Your relationship with her is ruined. Do yourself and her a favor, and just let this die. If you think she's such a "whore" then why did you date her in the first place? For that matter, who are you to judge? I really hate how some men pride themselves on how many notches they can put in their bedpost, and then call a woman a "whore" because she's got a few herself. You said that "men see her as an easy lay". Maybe she is. Are you trying to make yourself feel better and insinuate that you looked at her in another fashion? I doubt you did.

    At this point, I don't care one bit if you're right, either. All you're doing at this point is making yourself look like an ass. Congratulations.
     
  14. AnonymousOne

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    Bingo...

    EDIT: though ccj, that was a bit ... harsh. of course that's kind of like the pot calling the kettle black.
     
  15. FlirtyChick

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    You frigging rock! What a fine man you are!!!!!!!!:bow
     
  16. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

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    I'm sorry, but if theres one thing i cant stand, its immature punks who show no respect to women. I don't give a rats ass at this point if she slept with some other dude. If you can't forgive her for that, kick her to the curb and be done with it. Don't take her back just to treat her like crap.

    Am I, in fact, judging him right after saying "who are you to judge?" Yah. Hypocracy accepted. But, damnit, to hell if he's gonna come here and whine and complain about her after he admittedly treated her like sh*t. :tsktsk

    Seriously...I hate when I hear about men treating women like that.
     
  17. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Pride, I'm astounded at the way you talk about this girl.

    Ccjcool is right, having slept with a mere ten guys does not make her a "whore." (Isn't a whore someone who provides sexual services for money?) Hell, that number hardly even makes her a slut. Besides, you entered in a relationship with this girl knowing how she was, so why are you at all surprised at her behavior? What did you expect?
     
    #17 Puss_in_boots, Aug 8, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2008
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