Don't blame anal on your relationship failing

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Mittimer, Nov 18, 2013.

  1. Mittimer

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    So, rather then comment individually on the multiple threads that have popped up blaming anal sex for all the relationship woes you have, I figured I would just create a thread of it's own. Some people may be offended by this and that's not my goal, but the threads as of late are really grinding my gears and I needed to get this out.

    So, let's begin...

    Anal sex is not the answer to why you're being cheated on, lied to, manipulated, still in a dead in relationship etc. The anal fairy did not sprinkle her magic fuck me dust all over your significant others sleeping head to him waking up one day and deciding that he was going to ruin your relationship just by liking a cock up his ass. Stop blaming a sexual act on why your relationship is failing.

    If your long term boyfriend is cheating on you (with ANYONE), it's not anal sex, it's cheating that's the issues. If he's paying for prostitutes, it's the paying for sex that's the issue, not anal. If he's randomly contracted HIV, I promise you, it's not anal that's the issues, it's the fact that he's contracted a transferable disease due to his inability to wear a condom and have sex with unclean people.

    I can not stress enough that all your excuses are just that, excuses. It's not anal sex that is causing a giant hole in your relationship, it's the infidelity, the lack of communication, the lies, it's all of that. Blaming anal sex is the same as a male S.O coming here and saying that his relationship is failing because he finds out his girlfriend likes to diddle her ass with a dildo when he's not around. That.is.not.the.issue.

    Please, take a long hard look at what the actual issues are. No matter how much you love someone, no matter how long you've been together, if you have children, a business, friends or anything in common, if there are issues so severe that you must blame a simple sexual act on them, then you should reconsider whether or not you should actually be with this person.

    To the young lady who owns a business with her boyfriend. Yes, it is as easy as just leaving. You're using your business as an excuse to stay with someone who cheated on you, lied to you and now has HIV because of it. He clearly didn't care about you when he was doing all of these things. You can still own a business together without being sexual partners. Breaking up doesn't mean the end of your business. Do yourself a favor, save yourself from the worst mistake you will ever make, and end this relationship now. Continue to be business partners, but move on. See other people, enjoy your life not taking care of someone who you will resent for the rest of theirs and beyond.

    To everyone, whatever your issues are with any relationship you're in, don't blame it on something else. Take time to see it for what it really is and make a good decision on whether or not it's worth it to fight or better just to move on. Everyone deserves someone who truly cares for them and someone they can trust. You owe it to yourself to be in a relationship where you don't have to suspect the worst around every corner.
     
  2. alwaystry

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    Yep , I agree
     
  3. xeniadraven

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    :tup Bravo!
     
  4. sandwich

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    Yes, blame shifting, whether it be in the form of blaming an act or a person for your woes is essentially a form of cowardice. We've all heard the counseling lingo that tells us we can only control ourselves. That is the plain truth. Own your own shit, practice humility, and learn how to use a little empathy. I don't always do things things perfectly, but this is the direction I like to follow.