domination VS Bondage VS discipline VS humiliation?

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by PhX_AZ_SWM_1972, Oct 10, 2011.

  1. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    I asked this question in another area with only one response. I aimed it at ladies, and I am still more curious about a female point of view. but here I will just leave it open to anyone who wants to answer.

    Anyway, I was wondering what do you consider the difference between domination VS discipline VS humiliation?

    What do you use to gauge the difference between the three? Is there a line that needs to be crossed or a certain type of play to specifically to define one area or the next?

    Also, at which one do you draw the line: what will you and won't you do?

    For example, do you like to be dominated\be submissive, but don't like bondage? Do you like being tied up, but no spanking? Or any other variation? Is there somethign that you find offensive and will not do, but others are ok? And how do you know the difference?
     
  2. Paula

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    [EVIL]so many questions...[/EVIL]
     
  3. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    Then answer what you want to answer. if anything :)
     
  4. Paula

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    Why don't you start? It is your thread...

    so many questions, but what do you consider?
     
  5. bmapes

    bmapes Member

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    For me and my wife, we love bondage, spanking, discipline and domination.... giving and receiving. But as for humiliation, we don't get off in degrading to other person... just us.
     
  6. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    Fair enough but I am asking more because I really don't know exactly what the lines are. I guess I can say what I like don't like etc and we can start the discussing there?

    I guess I can say I like light stuff and it has to be mutually desired and I wouldn't ask for something I wouldn't be willing to try myself. I like blind folds and tie up. Scarf for mypartner, handcuffs on me. I wouldn't mind spanking or being spanked and would spank if requested but not necessary a.d my partner can be rougher on me than me on her. I like hot candle wax on my back. I also find leather and latex with a Goth look really hot to look at. Dont lagh or make fun and ive never had it but if the girl dressed up as a sexy vampire, or she pirate or like a midieval princess or warrior elf queen that would be so hot to me! I like kinky talk and both taking charge or being told what to do, but i don't like verbally degrading or being degraded. I don't like anything to do with body waste either. Anything else I should mention?
     
  7. Paula

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    I thought you wanted to be in control :D
     
  8. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    I like to have control as much as give contro. Just depends. :) what's the technical term for that?
     
  9. Paula

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    That's the same :lol
     
  10. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    Meant give up control to the girl; as in I like to be dom or sub equally just depends at the time
     
  11. Paula

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    mmmhhh...so I can...
     
  12. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    Maybe.....if you ask nicely ;)
     
  13. Mittimer

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    The word you're looking for is "Switch" you like to me dominant and submissive but only when the time is right.

    When I have a bit more time, I'll post the difference between the above but I'm on my way out the door.
     
  14. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    That sounds like it describes me, accurately. And I look forward to your next reply :)
     
  15. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    bump!


    Hey Mittmer, where's those words of wisDOM?:whip
     
  16. Mittimer

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    Thanks for the bump, sometimes there gets to be so many posts that I lose track of the ones I was going to write on lol.

    Ok. So. This is all going to be MY opinion and experience I've had in the BDSM community and/or my general lifestyle. There is no true right or wrong when it comes to kink so just take it all at face value.

    Domination- Domination is a form of role play (or for some a lifestyle) that involves a heavy power exchange between a couple. There is normally always one submissive and one Dominant. There is consensual control given to the Dominant in power and of course, lines drawn on said control. Regardless of if it's bedroom play or your lifestyle, domination must always be safe and have lines drawn in the sand of what's ok or not ok. Unless of course you offer consensual non-consent. Meaning you give up your rights totally as the submissive or bottom and allow the Dominant to top you in any way shape or form and regardless of your hatred or verbal outcry for it to stop, they can continue.


    Bondage-
    Bondage is a form of art. Bondage can be preformed on either the Top or bottom in the relationship. It does not truly define who you are in that respect. Bondage can be used as a form of Domination or Discipline if that's what you choose. It can also just be a fun way to try new positions, spice up a sex life or learn. There's light Bondage. Example: Furry handcuffs. There's Medium. Example: Metal Handcuffs, ankle restraints or other light things that still allow movement. There's in depth as well. Allow no mobility among the wearer. Adding sensory deprivation in the mix. A blind fold, ear muffs.

    If you're interested in seeing some really beautiful photos of bondage or rope art, look up Shibari. You wouldn't be displeased.

    Discipline- Discipline and Bondage can oddly enough be interchanged. However, Bondage will always still be Bondage, but just used as a form of Discipline. Discipline is either rules or punishment that can be used to keep your behavior...proper, I guess you could say.

    You can Discipline yourself by abiding by rules given to you in a D/s relationship. Being taught or "disciplined" to do something properly.

    You can also be Disciplined for doing something wrong. It can be as a form of pain, psychological punishment, public humiliation or a loss of freedom in the relationship. It can be as simple as now allowing the submissive to eat with a spoon, down to total loss of control. Being chained to a wall, bed, toilet. Allowing no movement among the house. Total loss of control. Humiliation


    Humiliation?- Humiliation can be just that, humiliation or even used as a form of discipline. Obviously what one finds humiliating another may not. For me, humiliation would be having me stripped naked and stood in a corner with a blind fold on. Not being able to see everyone gawk at me. It would be a break down moment for me. Since I do not LIKE humiliation, that would be discipline or punishment. For those who get off on humiliation it can be a lot different.



    I know the above may be a bit of rambling and if you have a question specific to what I just wrote, please ask.
     
  17. RideNaked2

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    Your explanation of these terms has helped me understand them more deeply. I'm sorry, I can't find better words to explain exactly what I mean to say.. :(
     
  18. Mittimer

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    *hugs* No need, my love. <3 And I'm glad I was able to help at least a little.
     
  19. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    Thanks for the explanations Mittimer. I am assuming you participate in BDSM, or have in the past. IF so, doo you mind sharing how you participate? IE Top, Bottom, Dom, Sub, or Switch? What do you and do you not find interesting or appropriate?

    Also, just curious, where do you draw the line between someone dominating someone else, and someone humiliating someone else? Where do you think that line is?
     
    #19 PhX_AZ_SWM_1972, Oct 22, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2011
  20. Mittimer

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    I play a role in mainly Dominant but I do Switch from time to time simply because there are times where I very much enjoy laying back and just being..used.

    I really have very little boundaries in the way of sex or D/s play. I find 24/7 D/s relationships really interesting however I am not interested in being in one with anyone unless I am the D in the relationship. I have no interest in being someones slave, I'm a very very strong willed, opinionated and open minded individual that refuses to be treated like that or willingly give myself to someone in that manner. I just can't.

    Appropriate? in what regards? That's kind of an open question.


    As far as Dominating vs Humiliating? There is a HUGE difference in that. But again, that's all subject to each individual. Like I said before, what is humiliating to me may not be to you. I can't draw that line, only the person in the relationship can.
    In MY relationship however, I can peg my husband. Topping him, dominating him in every fashion. The moment I throw his hair in pigtails, a skirt on his ass and smeared makeup on his face calling him a little sissy bitch. That's no longer dominance, that's intent to humiliate. I know he doesn't enjoy the latter of those things and it would really embarrass him.

    It's a little hard for me to answer for everyone else and I know that's what you're trying to get at. I'm just not sure how to because everything is on a person by person basis.

    In regards to where I personally think that line is though? When it stops being fun and consensual. Dominance shouldn't be embarrassing and demeaning unless that's what you intended it to be.