Domination/rape Rp/ bdsm

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by BlasphemousGirl, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. BlasphemousGirl

    BlasphemousGirl New Member

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    How do you aproach this Without freaking out your spouse?!?

    So, for starters-- my s.o and i have a pretty amazing sex life , * when * we have sex--its never dull. Far from "vanilla". Weve got toys, porn, open minds. However, secretly, im quite a bit kinkier than he is . Im certain of it ( or hes just pro at hidig his kink. Which sucks lol) Hes not nearly as open minded as myself.

    I want to express to him my fantasies for being dominated-whipped,tied, choked,bit etc. , and rape like RP. But, im not sure what..er how to approach it. I know he hates being tied. He hasnt ever expressed opinions on anything else besides that.
    Any guys have advice, ideas, experiences? (women too !)
     
  2. nurseharley

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    maybe when yall are both feeling a little playful you could just tell him things that turn you on, things you've been wanting him to do to you for so long. talk about your fantasies, ask him to share his. tell him you're willing to be open minded about anything new he'd like to try and you'd love for him to do the same.

    have him start off slow though, sometimes throwing too much out there could be overwhelming. yall could start by just having some rougher sex. maybe spanking (more) and begging for it harder, grabbing your neck while he's fucking you, being expressive to him about how much you enjoy seeing the more dominate side of him.

    ive found that if i just tell a guy what to do while we're fucking and make it known how much it's helping me get off, he'll be a looot more inclined to do it again and try even more. take it upon yourself to buy a whip or a paddle (or anything else that could help) and surprise him with it. you already spent the money on it, he should use it :lol
     
  3. GreyGoose

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    I would say be open and honest with him. I must say he is very lucky to have a woman that likes to have fun a man can only dream
     
  4. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    Awhile ago a great member wrote a thread about how she brought this to her SO's attention. SWGirl is her name and she is an awesome chick, I miss her, havnt seen her much. Find her and check thread she started and you can read it. I will search for you too , and if I find it I will add link here or pm you.
     
  5. Trond

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    There's also the girl who calls herself Flame around here. She has a sexy blog about force fantasies:

    Force Fantasy

    Perhaps scrolling through that site is a nice way to introduce such topics?
     
  6. Barbwire

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    I will be following this thread closely because the same sorts of things float my boat, PusiLiquor.
     
  7. Mittimer

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    If I'm not mistaken this is the thread you're mentioning.

    http://www.sexualforums.com/27929-coming-out-orally.html
     
  8. BlasphemousGirl

    BlasphemousGirl New Member

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    I've thought about just coming all out with it...and I have been hinting around to it for sometime. I think ill sit him down, and blow his mind. :eyes

    ALways honest...Thank you :) I think he realizes this when his/our friends talk about their dull sex lives are.:D

    I will look into this! Thank you!

    :D Well,Hopefully you and I *both* will find the advice desired!
     
  9. BlasphemousGirl

    BlasphemousGirl New Member

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    Thank you for this! Im going to check it out right now. :p
     
  10. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    Thanks for the mention Trond! I feel honored!!!

    I haven't been on the forums quite as much in the past couple of weeks because my work load became very heavy. Things are lightening up again now so I will hopefully have more time back here.

    Anyway, to the question: One thing that has worked for me is to write an erotic story. After years of trying to tell, explain and even show my husband what I wanted in the way of kink I just never seemed to be able to get my message across in such a way that he understood, agreed and took action! I would talk about what I liked, what turned me on, what my fantasies were but nothing really changed about our love making.

    A few weeks ago I finished writing a steamy novella which is basically one long sexual fantasy. I asked him to read it to look for typos and to just tell me what he thought of the story in general. He read it in bed next to me and I watched his reactions as he did. He said he loved it... and then we had great sex!

    But the best part is that a few days later I was typing busily away on my computer when he came up to me and ... well ... not sure I want to go into all the details, but it was really hot and not at all the sweet, gentle, nice stuff we usually do. Much more like in my story, in fact. (Now, if only I could get him to actually do a real role-play with me...)

    So, maybe try writing it all down. Let your imagination go wild! Or, you could always find a story you love that has the aspects in it you want and ask him to read it and tell you what he thinks. It would be great if he is also willing to write his fantasies down and share them with you (I tried that one but my husband didn't take me up on it). Otherwise you could also just tell each other a fantasy story, making it up as you go along.

    Have fun and I hope you find something that works. I know that it can be painfully frustrating not getting the sex that excites you!
     
  11. Ready2Please

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    So when do we get to read that novella? :D
     
  12. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    Well, I've sent it off to the publishers, so now all I can do is wait! It could be any day or up to six months before they get back to me. But if it is accepted, you can be sure that I'll let everyone know!!! In the meantime, I am working on some short stories that I will post on my blog.
     
  13. Ready2Please

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    I saved your blog to my favorite erotic journals.
     
  14. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    Ooh thank you! I have been working a lot on it recently as potential publishers will visit so I wanted it to look professional as well as be an interesting read.
     
  15. andretti

    andretti New Member

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    First of all, you can't ever expect him to catch up with you, if you keep it a secret. You'll have to start sharing eventually.

    Second, if he hates being tied, that doesn't mean he'd mind you being tied. In fact, it could mean quite the opposite.

    Third, as you how to approach it, try it one step at a time. I wouldn't come out and say, "Baby, I need you to tie me up, choke me, and rape me!" That might be a bit much if you're revealing these secrets for the first time. However, you could ease into it. Try introducing a pair of handcuffs into your arsenal of toys (reassuring him that they're meant to go on your wrists, not his). Maybe ask to be blindfolded.

    One daring approach - if it could be arranged - might be to tie yourself to the bed, so he sees you like that when he gets home. Preferably, you could send him some kind of text message first, telling him you wanted to be ravished as soon as he walks through the door... That might lead to an interesting encounter.

    Last bit of advice: don't despair if things don't work out right away. Sometimes, it takes months - or even years - for couples to fully adjust their sex lives. Sometimes things get said where feelings are hurt. Just be ready for those setbacks, and try talk things out rationally, objectively, and affectionately, rather than letting things escalate into arguments and hurt feelings.

    Best of luck.
     
  16. BlasphemousGirl

    BlasphemousGirl New Member

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    Andretti, Thank you, you've been quite helpful. I appreciate the responses from all of you!
     
  17. FrenchAccent

    FrenchAccent New Member

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    My advice : Show him pictures, web-sites, and tell him you enjoy the pictures you are watching. May be buy a book (like Nawa Shibari), and again tell him you wish you were one of the models.
    Your spouse is a lucky bastard !
     
  18. missyc

    missyc New Member

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    I love this fantasy...:D
     
  19. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    So you're trying to be dominated, not dominate him? Fuck being tied as a guy. Most guys are going to want to control the pace. Having a girl tied up is hot though. So if you played rape would you be like kicking and screaming for help or is he supposed to just take you at no notice and just roughly fuck you? haha, good stuff.

    It may sound fucked up but I think most guys are going to be down with that. The act is hot. Not like you're taking a women's soul and dignity like would be the case with actual rape:lol
     
  20. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    Hi BlasphemousGirl, I was just wondering how it was going? Have you managed to talk to your s.o. about your fantasies? And has acted on them?

    I find it can be very frustrating in our position (I also love being dominated) where we know what we want from the guy but if we map it out and ask for everything, it kind of spoils it. I mean, asking nicely to be taken by force sort of spoils the rape role-play! Also, if the man isn't into really taking control and getting pleasure from dominating, it will be difficult for him to fake it.

    Hope you're enjoying the kinky sex you crave!!!