Do you think you're good in bed?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by sensless, Sep 15, 2017.

  1. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    Forget what women or men tell you. Forget about the orgasms you (perhaps just think you) give them.

    I'm interested in your own analysis of the things you do (or don't) to please a partner, or don't do. And how well you do them.

    Have you honed your skills somewhat, or are you repeating the same thing in the same way, because (you think) it works?

    Do you think your partners put as much as you into it? Are they good?
     
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  2. Lovnflman

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    That's a loaded question!

    Yes, I do think I'm good in bed. I'm always willing to please and do what my partner wants. If they wanted to try something new I'd do it at least once.....anything! I'm particularly proud of my oral skills. Been complimented by several women. I'm not hung like a horse, but always had a satisfying sex life. I like pushing limits/boundaries. Whatever my partners wanted, they got.....and then some.
     
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  3. Alwayslearningsex

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    With some women I thought I was so-so, a couple made me think I was okay.
    Then those who made me feel like I was the best partner ever. For me it depends who I am with, the connection, the sexuality and mentality of the person I am with ..... I think.

    As for the pleasing, I like trying different things to see what works, and to mix it up.
    I like doing the things that work well, but also including little "surprises" in the mix.
    Following a check list (!. fondle boobs, 2. give oral, 3, finger partner, etc) is no good,
    becomes too predictable. I do those things randomly except when the orgasm arrives, I keep doing what is best throughout.
    I learned from trying, wanting to please, often being curious and motivated, not by being told.

    For partners, I think I have been lucky mostly.
    when meeting someone who we established who we are sexually (likes, libido, pleasing) I found I was receiving as much as giving.
    In their selfishness to enjoy sex with me, I enjoyed efforts to let me know I was doing something good that was appreciated, and received the same in return. Also being very open to feedback and directions to give me their best.
    My pleasure was usually important to them, we had a mutual desire to please each other as good as we could, and be pleased just the same.
     
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  4. Ryan4chat

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    I'll second the opening line in the first post reply above. Loaded question :rolleyes:

    An who wants to openly admit, they suck in bed? that's probably a pretty hard blow , if someone had been open/honest enough to tell you. Might be the only way you'd truly find out, unless you know you don't reciprocate, share your desires, an pay way too much attention to your own pleasure while giving little priority to ensure your partner is enjoying some sort or ecstasy or hopefully lots. :p

    Yes, I know I haven't even touched on the subject question, yet. I am a very caring , giving lover... I adore the female body an appreciate the many shapes, sizes, curves, etc, an so does my eager tongue. I do consider I have some skills there, an love oral....:oops: Being a good or great lover also involves knowing your partners likes n dislikes. Due to a few years of medical issues, ( not mine) an major surgeries over 4-5 years, sex definitely was not a priority or some months even possible. In some ways , we been out lil of practice, but... I leave it at that. I rarely discuss some of that here, but we work through what life throws our way.:rolleyes::oops:

    I'm very open, an would like to try new things, an always try to think of my partners enjoyment over my own. If she's having lots of fun, then well... I am. :D

    With reading lots of feedback here, guys get too worried about their performance or size of their stuff. When some ( maybe more ), but some ladies that isn't the most important part an have then described the most amazing sex with a guy that just gave them all the sensuous attention in all the right places, they deserve... an maybe more. :D:p
     
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  5. JackieTreehorn

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    Lol, right! Waiting for someone to come on here and say, “I’m a total disaster in bed; I'm a spaz and I admit it…but I’ve got a bitchin’ car so chicks dig me.”:rolleyes:

    But to answer the question, yes I think I’m good, but that doesn’t mean that everyone would share that opinion. In my situation it more comes down to the Good Will Hunting quote, “The question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other.”

    There appears to be a bit of a contradiction in the part of the question that asks, “Have you honed your skills or are you repeating the same thing…” I understand the desire for variety, but developing any skill requires some amount of repetition. A guy who wins two majors doesn’t kick his swing coach to the curb simply in the name of variety. And yes, I’m fully aware that comparing my sex life to golf must make it sound pretty boring lol.:rolleyes:

    Maybe a better way to put it is, if she says, “Right there…keep doing that!” she means, “Right there!” so don’t go mixing it up simply for variety’s sake. I've managed to learn that much lol.:) So maybe I think I’m good because I pay attention and take direction well...except when the situation calls for me to provide the direction.

    My wife is good and she probably knows it. She puts a lot into our intimacy, and that goes beyond the specific ‘in bed’ portion of being ‘good in bed’. Hopefully she’ll take a stab at this question.
     
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  6. Ryan4chat

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    agree... :p
    If you're doing something " just right", don't stop!!!! Or maybe if she is!!:oops:
     
    #6 Ryan4chat, Sep 15, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2017
  7. whybother

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    I've lost a lot of what I had. At one time, I was quite a stud. I could give earthshaking orgasms with my fingers, tongue or cock. I was attentive and patient, always paying more attention to her arousal than to my own. I would start with hair brushing, long deep tissue massages, lots of kissing and whispers of love and admiration to get her juices flowing. . I was tuned into the rhythms of my partner, fast or slow; hard or tender; loud or quiet; frantic or patient. I was physically fit and could go for hours. I would vary techniques and positions so she experience different types of orgasms. There were straight up vaginal orgasms from fucking, there were clitoral orgasms, and then there were the deep g spot orgasms that soaked the bed. There was also a special orgasm she got from a certain way that I sucked her tits while she rode me. I could stay hard after cumming the first couple of times and after that I was happy to give sloppy oral tasting our mixed juices to keep her arousal going till I was hard again.

    Alas I am older now and although I don't need viagra, I'm not quite as hard ( or long and thick) as I used to be. I don't have the control that I used to have so I cum faster and go soft after ejaculating for at least five or ten minutes. I'm not as strong as I was so it's harder to transition between positions and I cant hold my wait up for long periods in a push up position when on top or arch my back and raise my hips when she rides me. I get tired when giving her massages. I can't cum as many times. (Which is ok , I suppose, since she usually only wants it once at a time)

    I am however still an attentive lover who shares everything, listens well, gives generously of time and spirit, is patient and understanding, forgiving and grateful.

    She's lucky to have me and I am lucky to have her whether or not we still shake the windows with our lovemaking.
     
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  8. afunk13

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    I don't completely suck but was better at it when we had more time. Every time I try to do something different nowadays it seems to back fire. Our sex now is just about getting off I feel.
     
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  9. JackieTreehorn

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    @whybother, it's the internet. You're supposed to stop typing after that first paragraph!! Lol.:)
    That last part was great and it's what's important in the big picture.
     
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  10. whybother

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    I'm working on getting back into shape. Then I will brag.
     
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  11. Dog_E_Ryder

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    Yes, never once was told the ceiling needed a new coat of paint. :p lol Sex is the strong point in my marriage. :p lol When I was younger I was the typical jock and meaning I had lots of partners with the exception I was actually good in the sack as well. Playing music got me a lot of action as well. Most all comeback for more so I must have done something right. :D I'm funny and a nice guy as well. So add that to the mix. ;)
     
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  12. lbushwalker

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    When I was essentially monogamous I used to think that I was awesome lover. My ex used to cum via vaginal penetration with massive orgasms raising our bodies off the surface of the bed with her arching back and it felt like riding a wild horse rodeo.
    It was only after I spread my wings that I realised that in reality I was limited in repertoire and that just because one person likes something and it works for them that it is not the same for others so in reality I was at that stage only good at sex for that one person who liked predictability and needed nothing else.
    That realisation that I was only so-so at sex was a shocking revelation and subsequently worked very hard in researching and trying to update and upgrade my skill set. Now I believe I have the necessary knowledge to satisfy most other partners if or when such a situation may arise because it is all about reading and reacting to cues and that every sexual encounter between partners is likely to differ. To some I have and remain a good lover to others I have been a disappointment no doubt but the essential thing is to learn and be flexible in adapting to different circumstances. There is also like in every aspect of life such a thing as sexual compatibility and chemistry.
    I don't do random or casual sex because I prefer to invest time and energy in at least knowing and understanding the person whith whom I am reaching out to have intimate relations.
     
  13. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    Don't change anything about your writing, be it form, or content. You're perfect!
     
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  14. whybother

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    Thanks I value your opinion. It's a turn on to get a compliment from a strong smart woman.
     
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  15. Eater47

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    YES!
    I know what she likes, and I do it to her.
    Anything she wants, I do it to her!
    Like last weekend.....
    "I want you to cum on my pussy, and eat me till my tits explode!"

    Her tits didn't explode, but her nipples could have poked my eyes out!
    Close enough, yes?
    :D
     
  16. Sweetlysad

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    It's been way too long, so I am probably not lol! I do feel I have lots to learn. I think I could be good in bed for the right partner, I just haven't had that.
    I am pretty good in bed at satisfying myself :eek::eek::eek: lol
     
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  17. lbushwalker

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    @whybother, no shame in using ED meds but as you improve your cardio fitness some of he lost strength will return naturally.
    Our Testosterone levels decrease over time but it is unwise to go looking for an external source as playing around with hormones can and does have unintended circumstances such as much increased risk of cancer.
     
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  18. lbushwalker

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    @Sweetlysad, all you would need to do is just be in my bed, the rest would be taken care of without any further necessary effort!
     
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  19. Dog_E_Ryder

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    @Sweetlysad Be more than happy to be your trainer. ;)
     
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  20. DayPlay3

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    As long as she keeps inviting me back really doesn't matter what I think.
    :)
     
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