Do you think that love and sex should be connected?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Flame, Dec 14, 2010.

  1. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    In my mind
    A lot of people (especially girls) feel that they have to be in love with, or at least feel strongly about, the person they sleep with. Do you agree? Or do you think that love and sex can be completely independent?

    Obviously, it's possible to have great sex with someone you love, but are you also able to have a really good time if you barely know the person?
     
  2. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

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    this is a difficult topic for me, i think sex can be had without any feelings for someone besides lust but for me sex has felt better when its with my woman who i love, like theres a feeling of great satisfaction that i never felt with other woman after finishing.
     
  3. blondi

    blondi Member

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    deffinitely better when in love but a good time can be had in lust
     
  4. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

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    Love and sex are two separate things. That they happen to go very good together is coincidental. :D
     
  5. HardRocker

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    There are as many differences in the way people feel about it as there are people. I've had good sex with girlfriends that I wasn't in love with but we liked each other. The best sex I've had didn't happen until my wife came along.
     
  6. lbushwalker

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    Frankly it depends on the people involved.
    Sex with love is wonderful but sex for it's own sake can be awesome too.
    Some of the best sex ever for me was with a mutual FB.
    She and I only were red hot for one another but purely for the sex that neither of us were getting in our respective relationships at the time.
     
  7. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    Personally I could not consider sex with a woman unless I had strong feelings for her. Having sex without those feelings I felt was denigrating to the other person. And honestly, when I was single, when a woman was interested in having sex with me just for the physical enjoyment, I would not be interested as I would feel I was no different to her than any Tom, Dick, or Harry that came along.

    So while I can see love and sex can be completely independent, it does not work for me.
     
  8. daver

    daver New Member

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    Boy, I think that really depends on the person. I don't think it's so much a matter of "should they be connected" - who should be the arbiter of what "should" and "shouldn't" be? - as, "are they connected"?

    I can recall as a teenager, and well into my 20's, that the overwhelming factor in making me want to sleep with a woman was her physical beauty.

    Today, the opposite is true. It's my warm feelings towards a woman I know that form the primary aphrodisiac driving me to want physical intimacy with her.

    In summary... to each his own.
     
  9. cbrmale

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    The answer to the original question is absolutely not. The best sex I have ever had was with women who I didn't love, but we shared a common interest in getting the most of out of the time we had together. For me, sex with the woman I love is always delightful and special, but the absolute best sex which I remember like it happened yesterday was something else entirely.
     
  10. sinner

    sinner New Member

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    I believe that there is nothing in the world better than "making love". The best sex I ever had was when we had decided to have a baby and my wife stopped taking the pill. The intimate connection knowing that the act of sex had such huge implications on our life together made those the most intense orgasms of our lives. I also believe however that in a modern world with population problems not all sex needs to be for procreation. This leads to the need for sexual release. Sometimes that means sex without that deep intimate connection and therefore yeah I don't think love always has to be involved.
     
  11. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    when i was a teenager, love or strong feelings had no place in my sexual ecounters, lol. now, there has to be some connection. have to know her a bit, see what shes like. i guess we go through phases.
     
  12. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

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    For me...
    Sex = Food
    Love = Taste

    You can eat shitty food and have you hunger satisfied, or you can witness a great flavor without having your hunger satisfied, but the best food in the world is the kind that will leave your hunger AND your taste buds percolating and happy.
     
  13. daver

    daver New Member

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    Ditto!
     
  14. johndeeregirl

    johndeeregirl New Member

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    I agree with blondi :D

    I've had some great sex while I've been in lust with people but with the best sex I've ever had has been with people I'm in love with
     
  15. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    Perhaps, the sex we have without love is a different type of sex than the sex we have within love. It's the same act, but the emotions and chemistry are so very different during a one night stand when you are sure you won't ever see the person again, than they are when you are with the person you love.

    I guess that's why we have the words, "to fuck" and "to make love". Not many people make love on a one night stand!
     
  16. spicy_latina

    spicy_latina New Member

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    Couldn't have said it better myself:)
     
  17. LovedUp

    LovedUp New Member

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    I think sex can be had and enjoyed whether you love someone or not. If it's pure lust, sex can be exciting and a way to bond so that love becomes more inevitable. Sex and love is a way to show you s/o how much you love and enjoy their company, as well as a continual bonding.
    I was told once that when you have sex, a hormone is released into the body that there is a limited supply of. This hormone creates a connection between you and the person you're having sex with. Eventually however this hormone runs out and this special connection is no longer made. Therefore, to have sex when you only lust after a person can be seen as a waste of this hormone, when it can be better used to create a connection between you and the one you truly love.
    E x
     
  18. daver

    daver New Member

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    I really can't claim to be an expert (although my father did research on certain hormones & their effects on mental health), but if you're suggesting that there's a certain hormone of which, by the time of our sexual maturity, we all have a certain limited reservoir which thereafter is occasionally dispensed but never replenished, then I really doubt your information is correct. It sounds like a wives tale, or a clever ruse mothers might tell their daughters to deter them from promiscuity. Just from an evolutionary standpoint, there's no reason the body would have a mechanism for producing a limited amount of a certain hormone - one needed for decades afterwards - then shut down production once the "tank" was filled.
     
  19. nurseharley

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    i've never had sex with someone i didn't love so i can't speak from experience but i'm sure it can be enjoyed with someone you're not in love with, although a certain passion may be lacking