Do we have any adoptive parents here at SF?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Mittimer, Jan 16, 2011.

  1. Mittimer

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    I'm curious if any of the members here at :sf have adopted any children? Or if their adopted themselves.

    As some of you know I was in the hospital shortly before Christmas and found out that I have a genetic disease that involves my kidneys. Thought a lot of research I found out that getting pregnant while having this disease can not only put my life, but the life of my child in danger. Not to mention, put the poor child at risk of developing the disease themselves.

    My Husband and I have decided that we really don't want to put the child at risk of developing and dealing with a (according to the National Kidney Foundation) "serious life threatening illness". It's just not something I or him could live with.


    Unfortunately, I'm also unaware of whether or not I would pass the health exam that is at least required in Florida to adopt. (Because of the genetic disease) So any information on whether or not other states require one, would be fantastic.

    All in all, I'm just trying to get as much information as possible. It's heartbreaking for a set of newlyweds to think that they may never be parents. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm looking for a solution.


    Thanks guys. :)
     
  2. Astyn

    Astyn New Member

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    I'm adopted and I don't think that you wouldn't pass the health check unless the disease effects your physical or mental health. I know my mom and dad adopted me after she was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism in Washington so I think you would be able to.
    PS adoptive parents are the best:)
     
  3. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    I would think that the health exam would be just to make sure that you have the physical and mental capacity to care for a child. I don't see anywhere that you could potentially have any issues. My guess is that they just don't want a paranoid schizophrenic adopting children.
     
  4. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    he's right, although the severeness of your disease may come into play. if it's not controlled and the stress, lack of sleep, and basically the everyday care of a child could make these conditions worse, it may be more difficult for you to be able to adopt. having a disease in general should not affect your chances of adopting though.

    im pretty sure every state will make you take one, but the requirements will vary.
     
  5. Mittimer

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    Thanks guys so far for the input.

    It's just something I'm worried about to be honest. Mentally stressing over the possibility that it could be an issue.

    The one thing they mention is that you can't have any major illness that would hinder your ability to properly care for a child. I'm unsure of what they consider a "major illness that would hinder the ability" ya know...Doctors are weird and such.

    Maybe it's a irrational fear, still a fear nonetheless.
     
  6. nurseharley

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    i think people with more of a mental disorder would be the ones less likely to have a chance. some doctors have told me i couldn't because of my epilepsy, some doctors said i could. it really just depends on who the doctor is that gives the exam and what they're looking for
     
  7. Mittimer

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    Thanks. :)
     
  8. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    Epilepsy seems to be a bit of a grey area. Most states even keep a close eye on epileptics with drivers licenses, as far as I know. I actually have a friend that lost his drivers license, in turn costing him his job (he worked construction), because he couldn't drive to the job-sites every day, all over one seizure. They actually made him wait quite a while before they would give him his drivers license back, but within that time, he had to be seizure free. I don't actually know a lot about epilepsy, but I think I would be more concerned about a narcoleptic or drug dependent adopting. Of course, having a drivers license can't really be compared to raising a child, but someone who has seizures on a regular basis may have a harder time than someone that doesn't have them nearly as often.
     
  9. nurseharley

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    yep, this is very common. the same thing has happened to me.
     
  10. Astyn

    Astyn New Member

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    It also depends where you're adopting from. Adopting regulations in the US are different from adopting in other countries and some places are more lax so if you couldn't adopt from the US maybe you could try another country?
     
  11. AZman

    AZman New Member

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    Look into Foster care. You can be a "Foster/Adopt" home, and then only take in newborn to 2yrs old. You will have the best "on the job " training you can get, so when the right baby comes into your lives, you can be in position to fulfill your dreams........I know this is true, I did it TWICE. Not to brag, but I am a proud papa of THEE perfect boy and THEE perfect girl. Had my son since he was 3 days old and my daughter since birth. Look into foster care...................................
     
  12. Mittimer

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    I have nothing against Foster care, I just don't like the thought of virtually "Trying before buying" mentality that some Foster Parents have.
     
  13. NewGuy85

    NewGuy85 Active Member

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    This is a totally uniformed guess, i have no real experience. But it would seem only reasonable to me that the disease would have to be one that seriously effects your everyday life and keeps you from doing even simple things.

    The reason i say this is because you have to consider alot of people that adopt are there because its unsafe for them to have children to begin with. Obviously some are just infertile, but i'm sure the people responsible for the decision of whether or not to allow it are conscious of the fact that some form of health issue is pretty common among possible parents.
     
  14. igor

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    Mitt - I am sorry to hear about your genetic condition but it is a good thing that you know about it. I would not think that your condition would be a problem with adopting, or as someone else said, being a foster parent at least to start with. All the best to you - just take it slowly - no need to rush into anything.
     
  15. Mittimer

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    Thank you Igor. Absolutely no rushing though. We could still be waiting another year or two before becoming parents. It's not something we're quite ready for, but something we want to look into early so that we're prepared when the time comes.