Do some girls never come?

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by JuicyB, Nov 11, 2006.

  1. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2006
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Southern Cone
    Once I dated a girl, scorpio like me, and she told me she didn't know if she had ever had an orgasm in her life! She definelty liked sex. Was in her late 20s. Married and divorced with kids. (Lots of experience in other words) And she told me that she thinks she'd never hit the big "O"! She had had a traumatic childhood, sexually abused by a biker step-dad. But I wonder, are there lots of girls out there like this? And if so, is there a way to break that "no orgasm" barrier?
     
  2. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    First up, any girl who doesn't know if she's had an orgasm probably hasn't. Someone sexually abused can (most likely) be sexually traumatised, so the 'liked sex' and the no-orgasm may be linked.

    Yes it should be possible to break the no orgasm barrier with counselling by a qualified psychologist. As a partly-qualified psychologist, I know psychologists study a fair chunk of sex, and are best qualified to deal with such a situation. It is up to the woman if she wants a woman or a man as a counsellor.
     
  3. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2006
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    There are allot of women who claim that they were sexually abused once they enter therapy. However there is allot of scientific evidence and successful litigation that supports the fact therapy created the memory of the abuse.

    Anyhow did not mean to detract, I can speak from experience there are allot of women who do not climax. Trust me they enjoy sex but just cannot reach the big O. The way I find that helps is to spend time of them and allow the to focus on the enjoyment of the pleasure. Let them dictate the pace, the speed, time needed, and what is done. It may mean for a while you have to limit pleasure for yourself along with maybe spending over an hour trying to bring her to it but the benefits are worth it.

    The best time to try it is when the two of you have allot of free time and do not have a time pressure. Once you have the opportunity make sure you are not interrupted and take it slow.
     
  4. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Yeah but this girl hasn't had therapy, she admitted it on her own. That being the case, I posted she ought to have therapy because she was sexually abused by stepfather and that is bound to create problems.

    Most women don't come all of the time, but many should come at least some of the time. Of course some women have had poor lovers in their past, so they don't know and their lovers didn't know and it never or rarely happened to them. In fact, the statistics on female orgasms during sex are a mind-opening. Something like half of women rarely or never have orgasms with their partners (or it could be as high as two-thirds, depending on the survery).

    Women still enjoy sex without orgasm, but my experience is that a competent man in a regular relationship can (and does) help his partner to orgasm almost every time they have sex. You learn your partner's responses, you set aside time to have relaxed unhurried sex (unless there is a reason not to) and things should be just as good for her as you.
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    I think any woman who has not had an orgasm should start with masturbation. It helps to release her own sexuality and eroticism. She doesn't have to talk or interact with anyone, so she can totally focus on herself. She still may have to work through any emotional trauma that she may have incurred, but without feeling pressured, it should be easier.

    It's important for a woman to learn her pleasure points. Then, she is better equipped to relay to her partner what she enjoys or doesn't enjoy. Without being armed with this vital information, it's going to be pretty much 'hit-and-miss', and that could be frustrating (for both people).
     
  6. Thorn

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    3
    I agree with you Rosey, as long as once she has those first few O's by her self she doesn't expect it the same way from her first real lover(s). Going solo at first is a good idea though, especially in light of the number of women who never or rarely have orgasms in there regular sex life.
     
  7. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    VIBRATOR!!!! One of the best cum methods with a no cum girl!
     
  8. fred9989

    fred9989 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Overcoming anorgasmia

    Well, there are, about 10% of women, according to research have never had an orgasm. My girl was like that, and it took loads of time, patience and love before she was able to relax enough during sex to come. If I met someone else like that, I think I'd go for sex therapy with them, to speed things up. Another woman I know of used the Sybian to crash through her orgasmic resistance - dramatic, but it worked!
    Fred