[Ask a Guy] Do guys not like to go down?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by princessjay, Jul 23, 2011.

  1. princessjay

    princessjay New Member

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    Okay, so I have this question that's been bugging me for a WHILE. I don't mind if it's a guy or a girl answering, because I'd like to hear both opinions. I've been with two guys sexually in my entire life, and when I gave my virginity to my first boyfriend, I gave him a blowjob, and all that jazz, and we just got right to it. He didn't really touch me at all, just kissed me. At the time I didn't really know anything about sex or orgasms, or even foreplay, so we just got right into it. It hurt like hell because I was barely wet. It really upset me because I thought that sex was supposed to be really enjoyable with the way that everyone talked about it.

    Needless to say, I was incredibly disappointed. I researched online and I finally brought up the nerve to ask him if he could please start touching me, and I asked him if he would go down on me. He seriously freaked out on me and told me that going down on a girl is like completely disgusting, and that it is not "normal" in relationships for guys to go down on their girlfriends. That vaginas are weird and gross. He basically said that after we had sex and I told him that it hurts me that he doesn't consider my feelings and needs. I asked him if he'd actually stick his dick in something weird and gross, but he wouldn't lick it, and he told me that I'm jealous of him because he can orgasm and I can't and I'm just not sexually mature enough to orgasm from intercourse alone. It's safe to say that relationship did not last long, lol.

    But my next boyfriend(current boyfriend) opened a whole new world for me. He gave me my first(and many more) orgasms and taught me that sex was actually pleasurable. He LOVES going down on me. I can hardly keep him away from my cooch. :D He broke me away from my "all guys hate vaginas" thought process, and just generally pleases me in any way he can. I'll admit I'm fairly young, and I haven't had alot of sexual experience with guys, but I'm just confused. I want to know what guys think in regard to pleasing their wives/girlfriends/fuck buddies, ect.? because as you can see so far I am getting alot of mixed signs from two different guys. I am trying not to make a judgement on how guys please their significant others based on the two I've encounterd, but I just would like a general opinion.

    So what my honest question is, do guys willingly go down? are the two guys I've been with on opposite sides of the spectrum in the extremes? Does going down on a chick gross you out? what do you like/hate about it? And for girls, have you ever been with a guy who was like my first boyfriend? what did you do about it? I am SOOOOOOOOO curious. Details, please! :)
     
  2. Mittimer

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    Your first guy was just crazy, my love. Not all guys thing that going down on girls is completely gross. Every guy I've been with has loved the though of going down on me. I obviously did not let everyone go down on me because I find that a fairly..well extremely personal thing that not just any boyfriend should be able to do.

    I just think it was a personal thing for your first boyfriend. I'm honestly not sure. Lol

    Something you'll learn, most guys jump at the thought of eating out a girl, especially the ones around here ;)
     
  3. princessjay

    princessjay New Member

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    Thanks for replying! It just drives me absolutely CRAZY when I think about it. I thought maybe it was that I wasn't attractive enough or something(because who wants to please someone they don't find attractive?) but I know that wasn't that case because I take very good care of myself in that aspect.(Working out, eating right). and I was doing pageants when I was dating the guy! I know that not all guys are like that though. I am trying my best not to make judgements that all guys are selfish in bed just because of one first, bad experience. My new boyfriend is making that easy for me. :)
     
  4. Kermit

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    The first guy you described was utterly selfish, and too lazy to take the time to ensure your enjoyment. If anyone was sexually immature it was him. Women take more than a kiss to enjoy sexual intercourse. He more than likely was intentionally employing psychological tactics by blaming you for your lack of satisfaction and belittling you for his own inconsiderate sexual performance and thus attempting to get away with shirking his responsibility for your sexual pleasure.

    As for the "too immature" to orgasm from intercourse alone, the majority of women cannot do this, or at least not without some difficulty (unless they have a really good partner). So if it makes them immature little girls sexually, it's a sizable population. If he was sexually mature, he would know this lol.

    Myself, i adore going down :) nothing like pleasuring a woman to orgasm :)
     
    #4 Kermit, Jul 24, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2011
  5. princessjay

    princessjay New Member

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    I am the same way. I love oral sex on both sides. I love to give and receive!
     
  6. Kermit

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    I mean it's just a joy to see a woman twitch and writhe, to hear her moan in pleasure, to feel her vagina contract, and know she's in heaven and it's all because of YOU :D
     
  7. zombieguy13

    zombieguy13 Member

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    I agree with Kermit. I happily go down on chicks for those exact reasons. I like to make my partner happy, not only because they make me happy and I want to return to favor, but I also just like doing it. My first experience with it was absolutely horrible, almost vomited. But it wasn't because vaginas are gross, but the girl I was with never shaved/trimmed, and seemed like it was rarely even washed. :( Every other girl tho it has been great, some taste quite good actually. ^.^
    Your ex sounds like a complete asshole by the way. Glad you found a guy that really appreciates the female body and isn't a jerk.
     
  8. Texas_Red

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    First guy was a selfish boy, nothing more. Second guy was far more worthy since he was interested in you and your gratification as well.

    Hammer > nail > head.

    I've had an active interest in the idea of going down on a girl since before I'd even had sex. It only seemed fair if a girl would go down on me that I return the favor. Since then I've done it and love it. Few things more fun than wearing a squirming girl on my face. :)
     
  9. Kermit

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    Yeah keeping the vulva clean is important too for cunnilingus. And agreed, if he's not man enough to keep your woman happy by going the distance, he's not a man he's an immature little boy and should get a sex doll. He's probably just a lousy lover and wants someone other than himself to blame for it.
     
  10. princessjay

    princessjay New Member

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    You guys are awesome! In all honesty, it just made me really insecure! I thought that most guys would love that back then, so you can imagine my surprise. Now is a completely different story though. Maybe he was just inexperienced also? He said he had never had any of the other girls he hooked up with ask him to do that, So that lead me to believe that not alot of guys did it in the first place if at least 6+ girls never asked him for foreplay. Jeez! :p
     
  11. zombieguy13

    zombieguy13 Member

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    Well from the sounds of it he was dumping his shortcomings off on the women he was with, so I'm not surprised none of them asked, they were probably feeling the same way you did and were just too afraid to ask. Don't let it get under your skin hun. There are quite a few guys out there like that, but we're not all bad. ^.^
     
  12. Kermit

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    They could have been sexually clueless or underage
     
  13. princessjay

    princessjay New Member

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    Yeah, I try not to be one of those "ZOMG I HATE GUYS THEY'RE SELFISH FUCKS" kind of girls. :) it was hard! haha. I don't think all guys are selfish. I really don't. I do think that age has something to do with it. I hear alot of younger guys talk about vaginas like they are garbage disposals. Not cool. My current boyfriend is 24. Maybe it improves with age? Then again, I am basing it off of two guys out of like a million zillion guys. everyone's different, I suppose.
     
  14. Kermit

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    It improves when you're exposed to the right information and experience, it doesn't just automatically happen we all had to start somewhere
     
  15. sayss18

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    I enjoy running my tongue over a girl's clit. I may start by planting a few gentle kisses on it and then running the tip of my tongue up and down the opening of her vagina, exploring the labia and clit and teasing the clit. Then I press my tongue into the opening of the vagina and work it round in there, like I am penetrating it with my tongue. I lick up the length of her slit like I am licking an ice cream and then concentrate on the clit. I get my mouth really wet and enclose the girl's clit with my lips and then run my tongue all over it, over the top of it try and get underneath of it and all the way around it. I suck with my mouth and draw the clit into my mouth while running my tongue all over it. I vary what I do with my tongue. One moment I will flick over the clit with the tip of my tongue, sometimes going quick sometimes slow. Another moment I will take it slow, drawing the whole of her clit into my wet mouth and running my tongue slowly all the way around it and all over it. I will carry on doing this, varying my technique to keep her guessing and taking her into new realms of pleasure. I will continue until she has her orgasm. While the girl is having her orgasm I carry on licking and sucking her clit, just concentrating on that while holding her by her hips or buttocks. The girl's orgasm may last a while and she may moan loudly. I often like to start sex this way, even if it means that the girl's vagina is too sensitive after to take my penis and I have to wait to penetrate her. If I have enjoyed an orgasm through penetrative sex and the girl has not had her orgasm I like to finish off with oral so she is satisfied. I don't like to leave a girl unsatisfied after sex as I think it is rude, especially if she has given me the pleasure of an orgasm. I have given many powerful orgasms through oral, I enjoy making the girl have an orgasm this way.

    Your first boyfriend sounds rubbish at sex - I would be ashamed if I behaved like that. I hope you find a guy who appreciates you sexually and gives you what you need as you deserve that.
     
    #15 sayss18, Jul 24, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2011
  16. wht1zzfe

    wht1zzfe New Member

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    i would rather go down on my gf than fuck her. of course id like to go down and THEN fuck her, but if i had to pick, it would be oral. it looks and sounds like it feels MUCH better for her.
     
  17. 33stack

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    most men love going down, but from what im told, most aren't very good at it.i love it, and i'm very good at it.:toast
     
  18. backcheck64

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    I do it all of the time.
     
  19. inchaosandriots

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    you're not the insecure one. he was.

    real men eat pussy. it's a fact!

    :D
     
  20. bigpappi

    bigpappi Member

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    Going down on women is a pleasure and an honor...