Hey everyone i had found this blog or article on the internet and thought it might lead to an interesting discussion. Happy New Year!!! Well after reading “Grampa’s Friend Mr. J - Part 7” the question is, “Do girls pee in the woods”? Well we all know that bears do and so do guys. In fact it is my feeling that the first time a boy goes in the woods and his pants have a zipper he finds the first tree he can and pees on it. I know that male and female animals do this to mark their territory but I think the human male does it just for the fun of it, because they can, and they don’t have to wipe! We of the female gender on the other hand find it much more involved that males do. Here is a listing of some of the obstacles we face. • We have to expose much more. • It takes much more than a zip up to cover up. • We have to, or should, wipe. • Insect bites! • Plants you back into or rub against, or stupidly wipe with, can be poison oak, ivy, sumac, etc! • You can freeze your ass off! • If its hunting season and you are flashing a white tail some stupid hunter will shoot at it! I’m sure it’s not all inclusive so if you can think of others please let me know! I had my first experience going pee in the woods when I was 8 and would go hunting or exploring in the woods with my Grampa. Grampa had spent a great deal of his life hunting for food for his family when he was a little boy, first with Great Grampa, and then by himself at the age of 12. As we would walk along on exploring trips he would tell me of all about his adventures and someday I hope to go on walks with my children and tell them of my adventures and create many of their own as well. We never talked very much when I would go hunting with him but he would whisper to me and point out things I never would have seen if he didn’t show them to me. Maybe later I will tell some of these stories if you out there want to hear about them since they are not erotic in nature. I had gone on several short walks with Grampa but this was the first time we walked up to the top of the hill behind his farm and we carried water with us in his canteen. It was a warm day and even though Grampa had warned me to take small sips and slosh it around in my mouth before swallowing I drank too much water. On the way back I really had to go and Grampa noticed I was slowing down and doing the pee pee dance. (If you don’t know what the pee pee dance is then you have spent your entire life in diapers!) Grampa asked several times if I was ok and I said yes but finally I had to admit that I was at the leaking point. Grampa just smiled and said to follow him off the side of the trail a few feet and found a tree that was bent over on its side. He looked it over and then put his red neckerchief over the trunk and told me to stand with my back to it and he told me to drop my drawers, closed his eyes, and told me to tell him when I had them down. When I did he picked me up under my arms, sat me back on the neckerchief, and told me to edge my bottom out as far as I could and to lean forward to keep my balance and then to, “Let her rip”! While I was sending out a stream that would have caused massive erosion if it wasn’t for the undergrowth, Grampa reached into the old red vest he always wore hiking, and pulled out a small roll of brownish toilet paper and asked me to let him know when I was done. When I was through Grampa handed me the roll and helped me off the trunk. He then told me to take just enough TP to wipe with since we were going to toss it away and we had to be mindful of the environment. After I wiped he said to get my drawers up and he made sure I didn’t have any leaves or dirt on the back of my pants. We then buried the TP under some leaves and said to remember this place since it was a good place to go and he explained why. The first thing he said was that it was far enough off the path so I could hear people coming but they wouldn’t know I was there. Second, there were plenty of bushes and undergrowth behind the trunk to give me cover but it was not close enough to brush against me. Third, there were no ants or other bugs crawling on the trunk. Older logs can have all kinds of things that can bite you while you are sitting there with your bare butt that is also one of the reasons you wear a neckerchief. Fourth, I you go poop you have dead leaves to kick over it. Like the TP you don’t leave your business out in the open. I later learned that the TP is better to be darker so it foesnt flash white and it is also made to decompose faster and be environmentally better. Fifth, if you are hunting do not have your potty place near your hunting place. When we got back to the house Grampa told me to follow him to his room and he went into his dresser and pulled out a brand new neckerchief and gave it to me. Then he went to the big cedar closet and the old chest he had in there and got out several old plaid hunting shirts. He told me to turn around and held several of the up to my shoulders and finally said he found a good one for me and we walked out of the closet and he sat on the bed. He had me put on the overly large shirt and told me if I was going on any long walks and it was warm out I could tie the arms around my waist and wear it like a backward apron or roll it up and tie it around my waist and it would be like a belt that was a bit thicker in the back. When it was cool out or the skeeters were around then you wear it to keep warm or keep from getting bitten so much. But the important thing was to have it cover your back side once you pulled your drawers down in hunting season so you don’t become a target. It hangs low enough to keep your butt from showing but not so low that you pee all over it. From then on when we would go for walks around his farm or I would go on walks around my house I always wear my neckerchief and a slightly bigger shirt Grampa gave me when I got too big for the older one. Carol inherited her own neckerchief and my old shirt when she got big enough to go with us on our walks. Of course I have experimented on ways to pee in the woods when I wasn’t with Grampa and there are many ways we can pee but the do have drawbacks. • You can drop your drawers and squat but if you don’t lean way forward you are going to pee all over your drawers. • You can drop your drawers and take them off and squat and pee but you are going to hit the ground and it’s going to spray all over your feet, shoes, and socks. • You can drop your drawers, take them off, stand and spread you legs and pee and you won’t get all over your feet but it can run down your legs if you don’t spread your feet and pull yourself open a bit. The big disadvantage to this is you are a lot more visible standing there naked from the waist down trying not to pee down your legs while trying to keep watch. It is kewl though if you want somebody to watch! Giggle! It also takes a while to get your clothes back on. • You can drop your drawers to your knees and then get on your hands and knees and pee backwards with your back arched down but you are still going to end up dripping on your clothes. • You can take your drawers off and get on your hands and knees and spread your knees and feet wide, arch your back down, and pee. This is less visible to people walking by and if you drip you don’t get your clothes wet. Also it is a great way to let someone watch if you want them to. The big disadvantage is, of course, getting dressed quickly if you have to. The big advantage is if you decide to get completely naked before you go pee it is a very exciting and erotic experience. • One last position is to lower your drawers or take them off, preferred, and lay on your back with your feet over your head so your buns are lifted and go pee. In all cases when you are on the ground make sure you are not over a hill of ants or a ground hornet’s nest and make sure you know your itchy plants and stay out if them. Well so much for my lecture on going pee in the woods. If anyone has any comments or any other suggestions on how to go pee out of necessity or fun please make comments. They are always appreciated.