i was gonna wait but i decided "fuck it; i'll tell y'all now" i'm fixin to go through a divorce. A mutual thing, though we might have a fight a certain large loan she never should have taken out, but if i were to have voiced my objection (which predicted this very siutation) i would have provoked a verbally violent reaction from her. I'm tired of being treated like shit, being yelled at, hit, grabbed, denigrated, being subject to violent references. I'm tired of always being rejected when i try to give simple displays of affection both public and private, she rejects even teh slightest. I'm tired of the double standards...where she can do anyone or anything she want and i'm an asshole if i have any issues with it, but subject to her absolute dominion by contrast. I'm tired of feeling worthless to her beyond being an extention for herself when she doesn't want to get up from WOW. I'm tired of her getting angry when i have depressive episodes because it displeases her if i'm quiet, terse in my responses and morose and i should "snap out of it." as if i choose to be depressed. I'm tired of her violently flipping out at behavior that is a hundred times less than what she does on a daily basis. A marriage shouldn'like this, to be expected to be Mary Poppins and docile and obediant polite and subservient, while she can be the Wicked Witch Of The West and be as rude, mocking, condescending, demanding as she wants. It appears to be too much to ask for to be treated with the same respect she demands I give her. Golden Rule y'know? I just want to see the sweet girl i fell for again, but she's gone or never existed.