Dissuade my wife from Slimband

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Trond, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. Trond

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    Hi folks! Hope everything is OK with you guys and girls.

    I feel like I'm in deep shit. Over the years, my wife has been through several cycles of losing weight, only to gain it back. Her last effort was to work out in YMCA (persuading me to join the gym), but she developed back problems, so she stopped. She gets really focused when she is into this sort of thing, and I even get a bit nervous at how hard she works out, but then when things come crashing down, she becomes a bit apathetic. Lately, she's been reading a lot on her computer and watching TV apart from work. She has an office job, so no wonder she has been gaining weight again.

    Now she has convinced herself that the only solution is to get a "Slimband", which involves surgery and a $20 000 bill.

    My biggest objection is that any surgery is a risk, and frankly I thought this sort of thing was for morbidly obese people. She's not even obese, just a bit chubby. Add to this that we honestly can't afford it, at least not if we want to eat anything other than water and bread for the next two years. To this she has now started to look for options in countries like Mexico, which I think is insane.

    I don't like this sort of "solution". It feels like it will bring more trouble down the line. I have a hard time trying to get her back to the gym. I think she feels a bit let down by the way the gym didn't work out in the past. Any ideas or insights here everyone?
     
  2. she

    she New Member

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    Do you make her feel sexy? Why is she so determined to lose weight if shes not obese? She needs you to make her feel like a goddess. Why don't you start by asking her to join you on an evening stroll? Get her burning calories with an enjoyable experience. Buy a pair of bicycles, go ride together, it truly makes you feel young again! Buy her something sexy. Tell her shes sexy. Kiss on her. Touch her, make her feel sexy.
     
  3. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    firstly, bread and water for two years... you'll become very fat, lol.

    slimband is useless, that shouldn't even be a consideration really. there are so many issues with it, some are even fatal.

    if her back was hurting from the gym, tell her to do water workouts. not just swimming, but actual resistance training in the water. also, tell her to see a nutritionist. not a herbal magic or jenny craig trash. A real nutritionist, also riding a bike and push ups are great for losing those last few pounds if she's just chubby and not obese.
     
  4. RideNaked2

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    I was very overweight due to a medicine that I was taking. It caused me to gain almost 60 pounds in a short few months. I was VERY discouraged. I have fibro and that causes me to be much less active than many others. I do a lot of sitting or laying in bed when I'm having really painful days. I got to the point that I knew that I HAD to loose weight or I was going to be in some real serious trouble.

    About a year and a half ago, I gradually changed my diet. I gave up sugar soda along with almost all of my caffeine intake. I started drinking more water and crystal lite Iced tea. I use almost NO sugar now instead I use honey.Honey is better for you as it has many good natural properties along with the fact it is much sweeter than sugar thus using less. I started eating better as well as eating smaller portions. I also try not to snack..I still do but less often and try to eat snacks that are better for me. I have been eating more fruit and fresh veggies.

    Over a period of a year I lost a little over 30 pounds and now about 1 1/2 years later, I'm down just under 50 pounds total and 10 sizes in clothes. Keep in mind that I did this without really increasing my exercising. That is to come and I hope I can get motivated to do it soon!

    What your wife is suggesting is NOT a good option at all. I have known people that have had various surgeries done only to end up gaining any weight lost BACK. If you do not train yourself to eat properly, drink properly and exercise you will not have any luck keeping the weight off long term. A meeting with a real nutritionist as well as her doctor will help in much better suggestions than the one she is convinced she needs to do.

    Good luck! Please tell her the same!
     
    #4 RideNaked2, Oct 13, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2011
  5. Trond

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    Thanks everyone!
    Contacting a nutritionist seems like a good idea. I think I will look into some sort of workout regime that is good for her back, though she is not too fond of swimming for some reason. I think I will try mainly just to do more stuff together to get her out of her current apathy (that's what it seems like to me at least). If I can stall it and make her feel a little better, then I have a feeling that her fondness for this "solution" will dissipate...... I think.
     
  6. Ford

    Ford New Member

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    I understand how she feels, I find it hard to lose weight, maybe if you have a look around and try and find other options for her, it sounds like she gets lost in new "fads" and quick fixes, maybe you can find her something more financially realistic or something new to focus on, you never know she might like the it better.
    I wouldn't worry that she's going to have the surgery till she actually starts applying for a loan and booking it.
     
  7. AGFUNK

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    I agree with what Ridenaked2 said. I also don't exercise very much and I've lost 13 pounds just by changing how often I eat and what I eat.
     
  8. Dragon_Fire

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    I see this as a possible emotional issue. Surgical intervention won't help in the long run. My best friend (male) had gastric banding and although he lost a lot of weight in the short term, he eventually headed back to where he was before surgery.

    I agree with she about finding enjoyable exercises to spur her on, especially if you're by her side. The benefits of simply walking every day are huge. The fresh air and regular activity alleviate depression and some anxiety issues as well as improving cardio fitness and possibly lowering weight. It also is free, except for the cost of maybe some decent shoes. However, I've found you will need to walk pretty fast to see any real weight loss from walking. Resistance training helps increase weight loss and is very important for women as it increases bone density. If your wife developed back problems from going to the gym, I would say it was because she was not shown correct technique.

    I also agree with RideNaked2 regarding a change in diet. I wouldn't go on a total health kick overnight but simple changes such as grainy bread instead of plain white, watching fat content and avoiding alcohol and McDonald's can make a big difference.

    I found an online calorie counter has helped me lose weight. The site I use shows me the percentage of fat, protein and carb in my daily diet. It's been a real eye opener. It's incredible the amount of fat that I can eat without realising it. Also I've learnt that there are way more calories in a pre-mixed can of rum and cola than I realised too. :eek
     
  9. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Trond hun, she needs a counsellor to deal with her issues in her mind, if she sees her body as different to as it is then any surgery or weight loss is only a sticky plaster.
    Try to get to the root of the problem, $20 000 pays for a lot of sessions xx
     
  10. Essene

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    What's it called... It could be a lesser form of body dysmorphia. I say lesser because you say she is "chunky". There fore, she has reason for some concern... But that concern should be minute. If her weight doesn't pose a medical problem- and if she is looking to go to such extremes as going out of this country to get "something" done- she does need something more than coddling. See, what happens if after these surgeries, it usually isn't enough. Either they seek to lose more weight or they gain the weight back as exercise and a good diet is paramount to most any surgery.

    Now, of course, that isn't to suggest that you don't pay her the compliments it seems you think. If she is awesome the way she is, let her know. The only problem is you can run the risk of sounding banal and having your comments treated in the sense of "you have to say that... you're my [what have you]." Which may only increase the drive for her to get the surgery.
     
  11. Trond

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    I think many of you are dead on here. Also, if you look it up online, you'll first be bombarded with rosy stories everywhere (even Youtube for instance). It looks like very aggressive marketing, so I was particularly interested in the kind of examples that Dragon Fire gives.
     
  12. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    its always the mans fault right? :p lol


    you can make anything look good online. i find anything that has a 30 minute informmercial will 9/10 times be a piece of trash. sometimes the facts can scare someone straight. my gf wanted to be about 110lbs, but after i explained to her that 100lbs is lean weight (bones, muscles, tendons, viens, organs, etc) she'll have 10lbs of fat to play with. that is, very unhealthy. unless she's 5feet or shorter. you seem like a guy who knows factual things, be sure to use them. also, visual aids speak load and clear.