Hey all: I just got out of a complicated relationship that ranged from friendship, to lovers, to boyfriends, to friends-with-benefits, all in that order. There were many factors that lead to the breakup, but one I can't get over is that he claimed that a lot of the sex we had was simply "to make me happy", which I now interpret as pity sex. This does make sense if you knew our history. He instead chooses to have frequent casual sex with virtual strangers. People he meets online and has known for less than an hour. I received information that he will hook up with a guy, then get them to invite as many other guys over as possible. This of course crushed me to hear. What made it worse was that he has apparently expressed (to others) of wanting to be a "cum dump". This really hits a major nerve in me. I think it all boils down to what I think is appropriate and "moral", and what he thinks is appropriate and "moral". I admit that I get off on some serious stuff in pornography, but most of it I won't actually do in real life. Is this normal? Is what he is doing normal? In a way I feel like he simply choosing that life over me, which I'm sure it's not that black and white. What also hits that nerve is that now I place him in the same category as all of the other "fags", meaning he's exhibiting the stereotypical behavior of an inflated id, deflated super-ego, all serving for the self with little regard for others. Drugs and very casual sex are high on their list. I don't mean to sound rude, elitist or prejudiced; I myself am a gay man. I'm no angel. So the relationship is over, why care now? It's affecting me now. I feel awful, disgusted, angry. And it's greatly reduced my libido. I feel awful just watching porn. I really need some input on this, and I hope this makes some sense to someone out there.