Desirability - Physical & Non-physical

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by 10_3XL, Jan 31, 2015.

  1. 10_3XL

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    I've noticed that my attraction level to various people is greatly altered depending on whether or not I am attracted to their non-physical traits.
    So, if a person has a 10/10 body but only a 3/10 personality (heart, brain, whatever-you-wanna-call-it) - I'm not going to be pining after them.
    Whereas if a person has only a 4/10 body but a 10/10 personality - I'm going to be fairly preoccupied with interest in them.
    Obviously a fair balance has to be struck between both for anything to be pursued/developed, but that balance can actually be imbalanced if you put more importance on one or the other.

    Example: I can pretty safely say that (for me) the non-physical has greater precedence over the physical. So, even if someone has a less-than-stellar physicality if they have a personality that compensates for that I'll feel that aforementioned "balance" and pursue something further.

    I'm curious as to how other people set priority on this matter - the physical vs non-physical traits of an individual. Does one hold more importance to you than the other (i.e. hot body > good brain)?
     
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  2. lucky5338

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    I would totally agree with the above. What attracts me in a woman is personality , honesty, wit, humour , a nice smile, beautiful eyes and a lovely body in that order:)
     
  3. HotForHoney

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    So, what is D's body?


    I agree, if I can't communicate with them, can't laugh I'm not attracted to them long term.

    I don't want someone who I'm not physically attracted to at all but there is a balance/trade-off.
     
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  4. Mittimer

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    Mental > Physical for me.

    I can't be with someone who I don't click with on an emotional or mental level regardless of how attractive they are.
     
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  5. HotForHoney

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    So funny. I had to teach my son greater than/less than this week for his math homework!!!
     
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  6. Married M Nh

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    Just like in nature, there has to be a balance. It's rare to get a knock out beauty and someone that can carry on a conversation but it does happen.
    My wife's nephew married such a lady, she's gorgeous and intelligent and down to earth, she doesn't think she's above everyone else.
    I'm so attracted to a lesbian at work I have a difficult time not trying to kiss her, she's not that pretty but we can talk hours
     
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  7. MissScarlett

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    For me so much about attraction & desire is in my head. Someone who I have can intelligent conversation & humour with - who turns me on in my mind & can keep that going will alway be a winner & will make me want more.
     
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  8. djanalyst

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    I had a friends back in my 20's who was lesbian...she was cute, liked to talk,was super nice to everyone, and was JEALOUS of my (soon to be) wife. LOL She had a bitch for a girlfriend and was out one night with her and crossed my path...she took my neck tie (I wore for work)...I found it on my door handle the next morning. She said she was scared to knock on my apt. door. *damn
     
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  9. Meee

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    It was the boyfriend's personality that made me choose him. There were plenty of other handsome boys around, but so what? This one stood out very strongly as soon as we started talking. So for me I think it's personality over looks.
     
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  10. Lou_x

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    there is no exact science ive dated short tall fat thin and all have been different.

    so I compromised and settled for educated tall fit sexy rich with a 14" cock ............. does that me shallow :p
     
    #10 Lou_x, Jan 31, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2015
  11. IMNaughty

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    Lou, that sounds like a hard thing to settle for.

    For me, it's definitely brains over body, I prefer to be with people that can carry on a conversation, pull my mind along for the journey and keep me mentally intrigued. When it's just about her looks, it very rarely lasts very long (usually, until they are out of sight).
     
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  12. Alwayslearningsex

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    I met women who were not that good looking but I sure would have lovrd sex with them.
    One gorgeous woman had this annoying voice and was uptight. She looked good when not talking, sorry buta real turn off.
     
  13. Lizzie73

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    Saw a quote the other day on Pinterest....

    "Seduce my mind and my body will follow."

    Agreed.
     
  14. 12barblues

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    Desirable? If I'm desiring a one nite stand..? 100% physical/ sexual...( haven't had a one niter in 30yrs tho..). For a relationship? Personality and sexuality , way more than anything physical.,
     
  15. Anotherday

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    While looks certainly turn my head I fully know they aren't everything. The women in my life have always been physically attractive, but what sets the ones apart that I've spent real time with (definitely my wife) are personal traits and common likes/dislikes.

    Beauty from the inside, sexual compatibility, etc. are what I've always looked for.
     
  16. SirFoggy

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    I'm a rather simple creature, when I see a woman and don't find her physically attractive then that's it. She can hold a PhD in Advanced Sub-atomic Physics (or whatever), be funny as heck, just name it ... it doesn't work for me. We can be great friends, work colleagues, whatever ... but never lovers. Those qualities are like a cream on top of the cake but they are not the cake itself. And I like my cakes with a lot of cream on top ... ;)
     
  17. 10_3XL

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    The woman is a 15/10 on both counts (physical and non-physical) as far as I'm concerned... but I'm a fairly biased source. :)
     
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  18. Sagittarius84

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    I wholeheartedly agree with this and its only in the past 5-8 yrs that ive been at peace with it. Society has a way of shaming men forvnot finding personality "sexy" Personality to me is the difference between "I just want to fuck you" and "i want to date you". But it will never override the visual, only complement it.
     
  19. backcheck64

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    I have to have both, intelligence and caring with a smoking hot tight fit bod.
     
  20. johnnyangel694u

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    I totally agree with personality being more important. But all that is thrown out the window when men think with the wrong head.