denying sex to your partner

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by tiffers, Jun 24, 2012.

  1. tiffers

    tiffers Member

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    I feel that it's wrong to continually deny your spouse/long term partner sex. I can understand it if you are sick, or have had a bad day, but I feel it kind of cruel and cold hearted to deny them on a constant basis.

    Does anyone feel me? Or do you feel I am wrong?
     
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  2. faceman

    faceman New Member

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    Like I said in the other thread. This is a constant thing for most men. Lol women control us that way
     
  3. igor

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    Yeah - I haven't had sex in over 2 years. Strictly her choice.:ugh
     
  4. 12barblues

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    I'd rather be denied than have someone act as tho they're doing me a favor by having sex....know what I mean?
     
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  5. zildjianplaya

    zildjianplaya New Member

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    My soon-to-be-ex-wife and I went 15 months without one time. During the last 5 months of her pregnancy with our son, and then for 10 months after he was born. And she had a C-section.

    That wasn't TOO surprising, although I felt it was inexcusable. I was her first and she was never at all exciting in bed. Refused to give OR receive oral, straight missionary, in the dark, in the bed only. Very, VERY vanilla.

    I never cheated on her, but the lack of romance was definitely a factor in my choosing to divorce. I don't mean to sound cruel, but it is what it is. I've always needed to be shown that I'm loved. Telling me you love me is ok.... but I like to see and feel it.

    My current GF.... yeah, she does that and then some haha
     
  6. tiffers

    tiffers Member

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    I guess in response to 12barblues, I think that when you decide to be with someone you give and take, it should never feel like you're doing them some favor, if it does thats def a problem. Expecting someone to be happy in a sexless relationship which btw, sex is a bonding experience, yes there is all this other mess we talk about here, however, in a relationship sex is what bonds two people on a emotional and closer level.. But expecting your spouse to be content and happy in a sexless relationship is outrageous.. I mean denying sex for long periods of time not a week..
     
  7. 12barblues

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    Feelin ya zildj ....went 2 yrs (with my ex, ) w/out having intercourse when my daughter was born ...we did " other" sexual things, but no intercourse....it was strange....
     
  8. tiffers

    tiffers Member

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    I find that strange too...
     
  9. 12barblues

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    Especially because I'm so damn sweet and lovable......
     
  10. zildjianplaya

    zildjianplaya New Member

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    Shit. We didn't even do "other" sexual things that whole time. And I'm being totally serious. I once told her that a handjob wouldn't kill her. I also told her that her hand wasn't pregnant. I never got any help. I masturbated more during my marriage than I did as a horny teenager.
     
  11. tiffers

    tiffers Member

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    ikr 12barblues lol!!

    Zild, i feel your pain, i swear i do!
     
  12. fun4u

    fun4u New Member

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    Yeah its amazing how much I jerk off since ive been married compared to when I was a teenager
     
  13. tiffers

    tiffers Member

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    me too, I masterbate more intensly now I think ha!!
     
  14. surreal_thoughts

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    I'm split on it. But sometimes when you get the generic "I'm not in the mood" or "I'm tired" although they had a relaxing day kinda aggravates me. A few simple words, gestures, a look, a touch and your mood can change in seconds so I think that's a lame excuse lol I can understand if it was a bad day, long day or work, and other realistic justifiable factors.
     
  15. faceman

    faceman New Member

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    The only time I know for sure I'm getting laid is when she goes out drinking other than that I don't even try anymore
     
  16. tiffers

    tiffers Member

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    I agree completely surreal! Faceman, keep a bottle by you at all times
     
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  17. sabian

    sabian New Member

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    Wow! that is bad...I guess i am super lucky..
    Sex has always been the glue in this marriage... When all else fails, ( which it always does) we can always bang each others brains out!!!! Man! bad day at work....lets get naked and do it!.... The car broke down and its going to be $500.00... well, might as well have sex.. lol.. Sex! it always gets us through...lol..lol..
     
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  18. backcheck64

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    We did it litterally up to her C section, and started back up 3 weeks later with oral and handjobs to take up that time. There's no excuse for withholding sex in a marriage. If you're pissed, talk it out and get over it. My wife belonged to a women's organization for a while and would hear women bitch about fucking their husband once a month. She couldn't understand why you'd marry someone you didn't want to have sex with. Even with our schedules and kids schedules, we still average 2 to 4 times a week.
     
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  19. tiffers

    tiffers Member

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    both of you are so lucky!
     
  20. Dragon_Fire

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    From what I understand from his previous posts, luck has nothing to do with it. Backcheck and his wife arrived at this point through negotiation, planning and commitment to one another - factors which should exist in every serious relationship.
     
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