Decreased sex drive in wife

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by evman, Jul 22, 2007.

  1. evman

    evman New Member

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    Before we were married and after married before we had kids my wife was very uninhibited and even a little wild. She admitted to me that she had wondered what it would be like to be with anothe woman and even watched a nice lesbian scene in a tape we often. Since becoming a mom (we have 4 kids) her attitude has changed. Her decreased sex drive I think can be attributed in part to being with four elementary aged kids all day playing referree and cleaning up after them. It's exactly the type of things that puts you in a romantic mood. She even says she never told me about thinking of being with another woman even though during sex when she is sucking me after having been inside her I tell her she would love the taste of a woman and go on to talk about the things she would like about being with a woman. This always gets her noticably aroused bringing her to climax rather quickly.

    She told her doctor about her decreased sex drive and she offered to give her a shot of testosterone but the side effects scared her away from that idea. I am hoping that this year as our youngest attends school all day her mental outlook will change.

    Has anyone else gone throught this? I know it's quite common. What did you try? What worked?

    Any help will be appreciated especially from women that have gone through this.
     
  2. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I can only say hold on a while, Childbirth and raising them will
    diminish the sex drive, But now that they are all in school
    Try treating Her as you would like Her to treat You.
    Just give Her a lot of love and sex.
    And if you can try talking her into the bi scene, A 3-some would be ideal
    but if not settle for watching and I'm sure she will be
    really hot later.

    Hiker
     
  3. NaughtyKnickers

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    That'll do it. :ugh
    I stay home with our 3 and 5 year olds, I preschool them myself, and even with only two of them, the refereeing and constant demands can be VERY draining!!!!! :uhh:
    It got the best of me for some time when they were younger, but a few things helped me out of that place. I don't think I'd have much of a sex life if I didn't keep things things in mind all of the time.

    1) Exercise, without the kids. Even if just for a half hour, even if just walking. Physical activity is a great way to manage stress, feel good about yourself, get your thoughts in order, woes out of mind,..... and it increases blood flow to the nether regions, too. :brow
    2) I made a POINT to think about sex. Pitiful as it sounds, I ended up putting it on my to do list. :lol Scheduling time to watch a porno and give myself a nice pedicure sounds assanine, but doing it even just once a week helped. :eek:
    3) Procure time alone! If time alone is hard for her to come by (which I'd bet money it is!) you'll have to help her out. A mom with no time to herself can't be expected to be in touch with her sexual being, or moonlight as a sex kitten. :ugh
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    A great response.

    Hiker
     
  5. Bluesy

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    Lots of people have fantasies they'd never want to actualize, things that get them off big time but hold no appeal in reality. Just because she thinks FF sex is arousing doesn't mean she'll ever want to have sex with a woman, or participate in a threesome.

    Best thing you can do is help around the house, take the kids off of her hands whenever possible, devise little strategies for letting her know how beautiful/special/loved she is (e.g. love notes), do something romantic regularly, and just be a good husband--learn how to communicate effectively and head off problems before they become major issues in your relationship. Relationship tension will generally = loss of libido in women.

    Good luck! Keep us updated :)
     
  6. evman

    evman New Member

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    Thank you for your responses. Some good advice in there. It gives me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We try to make a date night once a month but don't always get to. Every year we go away for the night around our anniv. which is coming up next month. I have a suite with a hot tub on the patio. I will keep you posted.