Dating Mixed Messages?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by milesdavisgirl, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. milesdavisgirl

    milesdavisgirl New Member

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    Hi,
    I very recently started seeing someone. I met him over the weekend, and we hit it off great the night we met. We talked for 2 hours and had a really great time. He asked for my number and called me the next night. We had coffee together and again talked for 2 hours. He asked me on Friday to go to a concert with him the next Friday. I agreed. At the end of the night, we made out twice before he walked me to my apartment door. I thought things went really well.

    I didn't speak to him on Saturday, but I called him Sunday afternoon to see if he wanted to do something Sunday evening. He called me several hours later and said he was swamped with work and couldn't make it but thanked me for the invite and asked if we were still on for the concert on Friday (we are). I had half-expected him to say something like, "But maybe we can have dinner on Tuesday?" Or something like that, just a small date before the concert on Friday. But he didn't. He also didn't mention anything about dinner before the concert. He just said the concert is at 8pm. I haven't heard from him since.

    Is it normal for a guy not to suggest any activities for a week before the next date? I was hoping we could squeeze in a quick dinner or even lunch before Friday, but I don't think he has the same intentions. Then I thought maybe he just wanted to be friends, but then why did he kiss me? Is this normal early dating routine?

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. Bluesy

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    Not only is he normal, he's refreshingly, startlingly, fabulously normal! Dating relationships should always begin slowly, there's no need to rush it. You want to give yourselves time to get to know one another while living, and enjoying, your separate, independent lives. It's actually unhealthy to get too caught up in someone too early in a dating relationship...you need some emotional distance in order to maintain rational thought and objectivity. If you develop a crush on him from the word "go", you're going to lose perspective and your ability to accurately judge how compatible the two of you really are. If you feel yourself getting too attached, you may want to get some physical distance--there's no rule that says you have to make out with someone because you're on a date and find them sexually attractive. Whatever you have to do to get some healthy detachment, do it. If you're too needy or clingy, you might scare him away. (P.S. Stop fantasizing about him. You have been, haven't you? :p ;) Ok, maybe a little fantasizing is all right, but you don't want your thoughts to revolve around him. Things may work, and they might not. You want to be prepared for anything.)

    He handled your invite with grace and aplomb--I say he's a keeper :tup
     
  3. milesdavisgirl

    milesdavisgirl New Member

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    Hahahahaha, thanks for your humorous reply. That definitely helped, and I will keep that in mind for this week. I guess I'm just very excited about him because I like him a lot. (Yes, I've been fantasizing. :p) But you're right. I need to just take it as it comes and not rush things. I will see how the concert goes on Friday and take it from there. Thanks again! :)
     
  4. aussiebloke

    aussiebloke New Member

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    Sounds normal to me. Even if I was really into a girl who I had just started seeing/dating I'd back off. The way I see it, showing LESS interest than I'm actually feeling is the lesser of two evils.