Dating as a 30 something

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by UncertaintyPrinciple, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. UncertaintyPrinciple

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    90
    Gender:
    Male
    in my early 30's, so im new to this. i usually date women who are in their 20's, but open to women who are a couple of years older than me. but i have never dated anyone my exact age, ex's usually range from 3-8 years younger. but i have not really experienced dating in my 30's. the last two years i ended up in relationships that did not require dating, they just happened. now im in my 30's and have no idea how to approach this whole thing. how is it? mind you i will still probably date under to 24 but im open to higher. just that i dont have any kids and a mate having kids is not a problem.
     
  2. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,928
    Likes Received:
    17,188
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    If you figure it out in the next 10 days, let me know. As far as I can tell, dating sucks. Older you get, more drama/set in ways.

    Just go out and do what you like. Maybe she will be there waiting.
     
    ply and UncertaintyPrinciple like this.
  3. UncertaintyPrinciple

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    90
    Gender:
    Male
    hey, i need encouragement lol. heh i think i get the gist of it. i think i shouldnt approach it from the perspective of age. i dont like dating honestly. its not really for me. i like just randomly meeting people and then hanging out on some non-serious shit. then gradually allowing it to organically become something. dates are so serious and stupid. but i feel like i should give it a try since the other way hasnt worked yet, just a bunch of broken relationships.
     
  4. Sweetlysad

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2013
    Messages:
    18,321
    Likes Received:
    43,660
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    You are in your 30's? I don't u set stand why you would still date under 24. Maybe someone a little more Mature who on your wave length.
     
  5. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    Can't help you my friend, married from my mid 20s though today. I have a few friends who like me are in their 50s and trying to date, it doesn't get easier, I CAN tell you that. Four of five of one close friends wives were 10-19 yrs younger and all of those are exes now. Another is always dealing with a kid run ammok from a GF. Don't concentrate on the date, consider it just hanging out. Ask her to a sporting event and be casual..... if she declines the sporting event....move on right away. Try a concert with other friends. You can have them bounce of questions off her that you might be uncomfortable asking yet still get some info on her. And if she doesn't gell with your friends, move on.
     
    UncertaintyPrinciple likes this.
  6. Nixie

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2015
    Messages:
    1,161
    Likes Received:
    3,339
    I would definitely agree that there's not much point in being hung up on age so much - as if once you turn 30 you're suddenly in completely different situation than you were when you were 29. I don't give things like turning a "milestone" age much thought, as really it's all just subjective anyway - not everyone ages (as in emotionally and physically) at the same rate.

    I think a lot of people are like you (in fact, I'd go so far as to say most people) as far as preferring "randomly meeting people and then hanging out" to the more structured "dating". There's absolutely no reason you should have to do something you're uncomfortable with, even if doing it your usual way hasn't worked. I mean, by all means give it a try if you want to, but I'm guessing it's more about the person you're with than how you met that makes a difference as to whether or not the relationship is successful. People that have tried conventional dating (whatever that is?) often complain that their way hasn't worked either, so I don't think there's really any right or wrong way to go about it.
     
    ply and UncertaintyPrinciple like this.
  7. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,963
    Likes Received:
    5,074
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    I have a lot of experience in dating in the 30s.
    She is 32 and I am 62 and she found me 7 years ago ;)
    I was not looking for a young woman but she was looking for an older man so perfect match and who am I to complain :)
    .
     
  8. HalfNaked

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2015
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    394
    Gender:
    Male
    Not sure but I assume dating in your 30's is a lot like in your 20's only instead of going to the bar you go to the bingo hall instead. And you're normally in bed by 9:00 PM.
     
    UncertaintyPrinciple likes this.
  9. DayPlay3

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2015
    Messages:
    5,369
    Likes Received:
    4,729
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago
    so that's were all the hot 30 y.o.s are? Playing Bingo? :D
     
    UncertaintyPrinciple likes this.
  10. HalfNaked

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2015
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    394
    Gender:
    Male
    You're welcome ;)
     
    UncertaintyPrinciple likes this.
  11. xtacy4

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    3,173
    Likes Received:
    18,995
    Gender:
    Female
    I've never played bingo, but the 9:00 bedtime isn't far off ;) Impressive assumption :rolleyes:
     
  12. teamster145

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2005
    Messages:
    9,463
    Likes Received:
    7,457
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    What happens at 40??
     
  13. xtacy4

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    3,173
    Likes Received:
    18,995
    Gender:
    Female
    You move to one of those senior communities image.jpeg
     
    ply, whybother and teamster145 like this.
  14. UncertaintyPrinciple

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    90
    Gender:
    Male
    yea 32. i just didnt want to dispel the possibility of being with a woman who is 23 /22. just want to leave the door open. but my range for what i look for is 24-34. i also want kids eventually. the thing is if i could meet a women who is closer to my age then it would be cool. but i look pretty young so i havent really aged that quickly honest. age isnt really how we approach it, it isnt so linear how we think of time and earth rotations. i dont look anywhere near 30 so that makes it challenging
     
  15. xtacy4

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    3,173
    Likes Received:
    18,995
    Gender:
    Female
    The only piece of advice that I can offer is that it's pretty uncommon for a woman in her early 20s to really feel secure in herself and what she wants. I'm not saying it's impossible, just that confidence comes with age. Excluding an age bracket is detrimental to finding a meaningful relationship. Why not find out if you have a connection and things in common before turning someone away because of age?
     
    ply likes this.
  16. HalfNaked

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2015
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    394
    Gender:
    Male
    Bingo, lawn bowling, birdwatching... All friendly activities for the those of us over the hill. The good news is Dr. Oz said that a whole lotta fuckin keeps you young at heart.
     
  17. teamster145

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2005
    Messages:
    9,463
    Likes Received:
    7,457
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Well, they do look happy. ;)
     
  18. UncertaintyPrinciple

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    90
    Gender:
    Male
    o i would not turn away someone, im just saying what i typically would go for. this is all word communication in text, in person it is different. im open to it. im not going to turn down anyone i am deeply connected to. she could be 40 i dunno. i never dated an older woman dont know how it would be.nearest ex's to this date, one was 2 years younger than me, the others 7.
     
  19. whybother

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4,531
    Likes Received:
    7,713
    Gender:
    Male
    How about som sex bingo?

    [​IMG]
     
  20. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    Good point. I found one, but most don't have a clue what they really want from life at that age, goes for the guys too though. As far as kids, you might want to find one in their later 20s. After the mid 30s, chances for complications and autism rise greatly.

    So I guess us 50 yr olds just hang at the funeral home, try to pick up widows.