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Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by resigirl, Jul 31, 2007.
Is it wrong to have cybersex with someone when ur in a relationship with someone else??
mm, depends how long you've been in the relationship I suppose, and also whether your partner minds or not.
Its not that big of a deal
12 years and he does!! but I would love him to do it with girls online. It wouldn't bother me. But he isn't into it. It's so frustrating because I love it.
Is He interested in real sex.
No, it's not wrong, words and just that, words...not actions.
He does "know"? or he does "mind"?
If he minds, then, perhaps you would want to re-evaluate your 12-year relationship. that's a lot of time to invest in your life and his. Is a "pretend" sexual encounter that important to you - that you would risk a long-term love?
It's almost like a threesome - if either party does not wish to entertain the thought... then you should shelf it. Otherwise, you can kiss your 12-year love 'goodbye'. It's up to you.
Nope.......see nothing wrong with it....as long as it doesn't interfere with the REAL sex in your life.
No it's just an extention of fantasy land!
Each to their own... but I find it so hard to relate to cybersex that if I were in a relationship with someone who was doing it and actually getting something out of it... I wouldn't feel betrayed, I feel more like we have less in common than I thought.
i think cybersex is wrong if you're having it with people that you know in real life, and you're in this relationship. maybe he doesn't like the idea becuase it's essentially you pretending or maybe in his head 'wishing' that you were having sex with someone else?
Thanks guys for your comments. I do it with total strangers. Never with people I know. That would be wrong. I have a great sex life. In fact I can't get enough. This is just fun that I have. It gets me all worked up for my partner. But he dosen't look on it as that!! I have never cheated on him and I never would. I love him too much. But he says that I am cheating, I just don't see it like that.
So I guess that gives me my answer!! I have to stop!!
Your answer really should come from two people only ( this forum and its members can only offer you advice not a right or wrong ) the two people are you and your lover.....thats where the real answer for you lays.
I agree with Kronnie.
If my wife was doing it behind my back, I wouldn't like it. (I wouldn't do it either.) If she was doing it while I watched, with a stranger, I'd probably get a kick out of it.
Good for you. No two people are going to enter into a sexual relationship with the exact same philosophy/expectations...both partners are most likely going to have to compromise on certain things while sacrificing others. This is a fabulous convo to have when you're dating, before you get involved in a relationship. Ideally you'd find out in advance where your prospective SO stands on important sexual issues like cybersex, porn, threesomes--anything with the potential to cause problems down the road.
Going through the same thing with my man of 4 years. When I cam or cyber it gets me worked up and I feel that it improves our sex life. However, he doesn't see it that way. To him it is cheating because I am allowing someone else to experience intimate parts of me, even if they aren't actually touching me. He's also concerned about the psychos who might decide to take a liking to me, it only takes one.
but I agree with you, if our partners don't approve we have to decide which ismore important, fantasy or their love. and in this case, (both of us in long term committed relationships) the love really needs to come first and we gotta stop
My SO and I have discussed this issue and he said he doesn't mind if I cyber...it's just a fantasy combined with mutual masturbation, not really sex. However, before the PMs start flyin,' keep in mind that I choose not to cyber with anyone. I used to cyber frequently with my SO before we moved in together and it just feels too weird doing it with anyone else. That's just the way I feel about it.
That's the ethical problem with cybering..some people consider it harmless mutual masturbation and to others it's tantamount to cheating.
To the OP, I'd suggest asking your SO if he's ever masturbated to porn? If so, how can he make such a big deal over you cybering? They're basically the same thing, only cybering is slightly more involved.
I don't get cybering. I don't think it's wrong or cheating or anything, I just don't understand the appeal.
i personally think cybering is somewhat pointless, either you have sex and hook up with people in real life or you dont... But to each person they see it differently and some like it.. It is nothing like porn tho PIB, porn has no interaction with the actors, you dont tell them what you like and in return they act it out (if your on a webcam that is).. porn is a different situation there is no interaction there and the big problem alot of people have with cybering is the interaction with somone else which indirectly could be taken as cheating..