Current Relationship Stress **Venting**

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Ice Cold, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    Right now, the fact that for 4 months over the summer it was just me and my girl, we did whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. Now that we are back in school, living on campus again, we have so many restrictions. For one, visitation is over at 2am, so I technically can't stay in her dorm, or she in mine. There are ways to get around this such as being in the room before 12am or whenever a serious campus safety individual is at work. It's annoying that i can't spend the night with my girl whenever i want, but even more so on certain nights when we go out to a nice lounge or a dinner and a movie and i have to say goodnight :(.

    Another issue is going to a small school and having the same circle of friends with their own opinions, (or heavily influenced opinions) on how our relationship should be. For the most part, we have noticed that the guys aren't concerned too much with our relationship; the ladies are the ones who seem to have the biggest issue with it. I am sort of taken back by some of the comments they say about me and my S/O. Her current decision to cut back drinking, and the fact that she doesn't wear make up as much as she used, and other little things are blamed on me. She also gets heavily criticized because she doesn't visit them that often, but they do not make the effort themselves to reach out to her.

    My final issue, which can be tied to the first, is a lack of intimacy. Over the summer, the school offered housing at the Holiday Inn for summer courses of study. The privacy we had there was unbelievable. They still offer Holiday Inn residency, but they have full occupancy and single residency is no longer an option. Adjusting from a big ass king size mattress to an extra long twin, in a dorm room is kinda tough. Pair that with extremely limited one on one time, it kinda limits your sex to lil 15-30min sessions with concern of being interrupted. Not to mention squeaky ass beds and paper thin walls. I know a lot of couples would die for 30mins of sex, but being limited to that, takes a lot of the fun out of it; you cant really indulge in foreplay, enjoy each others bodies as thoroughly as you like, or bask in the after glow. We decided to save up some money and spend the weekend at a local hotel not only for some intimate time, but just to get away from the campus for a bit.

    Well im done venting. these aren't huge problems in our relationship by any means, but i feel as though they are unneccessary stress considering we both are very close to graduating and that should be our focus.
     
  2. -G-

    -G- New Member

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    I can totally understand your concerns with the lack or privacy. Maybe you can look into off campus living for the next semester. That way you will have total privacy whenever you want it.

    As for the issues with her friends and their opinions, it sure doesnt sound like you are bad for this girl. Maybe she isn't wearing makeup because she is comfortable around you and with herself more than she use to be. Too much makeup isnt good for your skin anyway. As for the drinking, I am a lush as much as the next college student, but its important to realize it really isn't healthy to drink to much. If her friends can't accept her decision then they aren't being true friends. Unfortunatly, you are just going to have to deal with their comment because people by nature are nosey and opinionated. It sounds like they may be a little jealous of her situation.

    good luck...
     
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Ther is a problem with Privacy in Iraq also. The Green zone space is all taken up. Couples desiring privacy have few choices for intimacy. The Washington Post Iraq correspondent wrote a book something like "Imperial Designs in the Emerald City".

    Actually:

    Imperial Life in the Emerald City: Inside Iraq's Green Zone by Rajiv Chandrasekaran (Hardcover - Sep 19, 2006)


    In a CNN interview, the author explained that military personnel seeking a private laison in the Green Zone were limted mostly to a prota-potty. That was the only place with a locking door and privacy. Are you in ROTC?
     
  4. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Maybe you need to find a new circle of friends? A relationship needs time a part and not be together 24/7 so being back in school with time restrictions on visitations can be a good thing.
     
  5. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    Yea, i agree to all the advice given, i appreciate it all. I have gotten a lot of advice lately, from established couples, married for 20+ years, they have all said the same thing, people will test your relationship, whether intentionally or unintentionally, but its up to you to know whats best for your relationship and stick to what works for yall. not to turn this into a racial thing, but hearing this from 2 very loving and successful black couples is so encouraging for me. Thanks again for the advice and letting me vent :)
     
  6. AdultFriendBabe

    AdultFriendBabe New Member

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    Relationships are never easy ... sigh