Curiosity might hurt him

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Tira, Aug 1, 2007.

  1. Tira

    Tira New Member

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    Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years--we have amazing sex and we're both definitely into trying new things-minus a few. I love to feel completely dominated by a guy and for some reason nothing seems to get to me in that way than having MFM? Is that the letter order? I've had this fantasy /FOREVER/ and I would absolutely love to do it--get it out of my system but I know my boyfriend would A. Never go for it B. Never touch me again if I did it (he'd leave me in a second obviously for being with someone else) but ARGHH!!! I just want to try it so badly! Help? I don't want to leave him. Any suggestions?
     
  2. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    alot of guys are not open to that, if it was another girl then he may, but 2 guys, not looking good on him agreeing..
     
  3. Bluesy

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    It sounds to me like even addressing the subject with him might cause problems. What options do you have? A) Break up with him and have your MFM, B) Have a secret MFM and don't tell bf about it (unwise and unfair to him, STD-wise), or C) Be grateful for the amazing sex you're already having and realize that in every mature love relationship sacrifices will have to be made--that is how love works. Either he's worth the sacrifice or he isn't!
     
  4. Sir Kill Jerk

    Sir Kill Jerk New Member

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    I have about fantasies about 3somes but would never actually do it. I guess you have two options.

    a. Drop the notion of a 3some (safer idea).

    b. Find two random guys to have a 3some with and never tell your boyfriend (not very safe).
     
  5. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    exactly, but i would not go with a secret behind his back move, it will also make you look bad in the end when you get caught, especially if he is like some people who will go around telling everyone about you and what you did.. either your happy with him or your not i dont see any other way to be honest.
     
  6. Sir Kill Jerk

    Sir Kill Jerk New Member

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    Damn you Bluesy, you beat me to it. : )
     
  7. buddy0975

    buddy0975 Member

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    I know as a guy, I wouldn't be able to participate in a MFM. I'd get way too jealous. I don't really know why, but I just couldn't do it. Its best not to press the issue if he's not into it. That could be almost as bad as doing it, because if its something he's uncomfortable with, its just no good. I was kind of bothered when an ex told me she had done one before. I don't know why, but it just kinda felt like she didn't respect herself... oddly enough it even still bothers me to think about it a little bit even though we're broken up. Its complicated and difficult to understand. It doesn't affect me, I know, because I didn't even know her when it happened. Its just weird, that's all I can say. Don't judge me! Haha.
     
  8. AndrewD

    AndrewD New Member

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    I'd want my g/f to feel comfortable in sharing all her fantasies with me and as long as they weren’t dangerous or illegal, I’d want to know about them. If you have a good relationship, he should respect your desire and you should be willing to drop it if it’s not something he could participate in.

    Of course, sharing and discussing each others fantasies and actually carrying them out are two different things.
     
  9. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    If you already know your b/f's answer I would leave it alone, it actually might piss him off thinking you want to play around with another man. Just my opinion. Good luck
     
  10. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Tira you did'nt say if you were living together or not, If you arent then investigate
    the many clubs in the world that cater to swingers, most have open rooms
    for having sex, And if you are reasonably good looking then you wont have a
    problem getting 2 or more men at the same time. Mabey you can get an orgy going
    with you being the only Female.

    But be careful and have plenty of rubbers on hand.

    If your fantasy is extremely strong go for it, Your Boyfriend will never know.

    Hiker
     
  11. Barbwire

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    Hiker, I have to jump in and disagree with you there. There is NO guarantee he won't find out. She must know this and be willing to deal with the consequences of her actions, just in case.
     
  12. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    i will have to agree with CL, he very well could find out, but hey aslong as she realises there will be consequences from her actions then by all means, Go for it...
     
  13. quencho092

    quencho092 New Member

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    its definitely not fair to him. It's your choice, but this sounds pretty evil IMO...you'd either make him feel like he isnt good enough for you and you need someone else to satisfy you, or end up cheating on him and potentially ruining your relationship.

    Sex is important, but without the emotional component that you've worked on for years, its just friends with benefits. It's your choice, decide whether it's more important to be sexually satisfied, or to respect his wishes...if you're bored with him, then break up, if you cheat, it will hurt him more.
     
  14. Tira

    Tira New Member

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    Whoa whoa guys. My intention was never to hurt my boyfriend or go out and just grab some random guys off the street and start an STD museum. I was just not sure what to do about it and any way to perhaps find a way to better my situation. I know I can't talk to him about it-he doesn't like it. I know I can't do it, it would hurt him/end the relationship. I just thought some suggestions about what else I could do would help. From such an open community, I didn't expect such assumptions--I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had a fantasy they can't share with their S.O. What did you do?
     
  15. TheShed

    TheShed New Member

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    I share all my fantasies with my girl and I hope she does the same with me. Broching the subject of a 3some is always going to be a difficult thing unless you are a girl saying you want to bring another girl into the bedroom...that one usually goes down a bit easier.

    I know it's cliche but talk to him about it if you really can't get it out of your head. If he doesn't go for it then there are plenty of ways that you can be dominated without having two guys there so the sex can still be great. Have a look around the internet for some other suggestions. Also, ask him if he would mind if it's another girl with a strap on? Maybe you can both have some fun? You get the extra cock...albeit a bit plastic and he gets an extra set of tits and maybe you'll even let him go a little further?

    Just mix it up a little bit and see if you can't find something else you both enjoy.

    God I'm just thinking about threesomes now! Thanks! :lol
     
  16. FireGuy

    FireGuy New Member

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    You definately need to find a way to talk to him about this. Bring up the convo about a 3some with 2 girls see what he says.

    I would imagine he'd be all for it, so then ask about another man joining the two of you. You think he's going to say no, find out why, what's he worried about, really talk about it and show some real interest.

    When he lists all the reasons he wouldn't want another man, simply say. So what's the difference with another girl, I would probably have the same feelings, but I'd be willing to do it if you wanted. Simply leave it at that.

    And yes, if that's a fantasy of his, you have to be open to that if you expect him to be open to yours.

    Other things you may try, while having sex, take a couple of his fingers in your mouth and move like you're giving them a blow job. See what he does, if he asks what you're doing tell him you're picturing him fucking you while you're giving another man head.

    Same thing with anal sex (if you guys do that) while he's in your ass, grab a dildo and play with that in your pussy...

    It may open his mind a little when he see's how much it turns you on. Then again it may not.

    At some point you're going to have to be honest with him and share your desires. maybe agree to set some rules like he'll be the only one to penetrate you while you suck the other guy off or somethin.

    Try a couple different spins on it, you know the best on what way to go.
     
  17. AndrewD

    AndrewD New Member

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    FireGuy and TheShed have good suggestions but I'm curious what makes you think you can't talk to him about it.
     
  18. Bluesy

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    When you put it like that, it changes the tone of your question. Sometimes fantasies cross the line and become obsessions. It sounds like maybe this has happened to you, otherwise you'd be able to just let it go and forget about it. You have to "deprogram" yourself: refrain from looking at MFM porn (or even group porn, if it triggers similar thoughts), divert your attention to something different whenever the thought arises...eventually you'll wonder why it ever seemed like a big deal to you. You may want to seek professional help if it continues to be a problem.

    Good luck.
     
  19. evman

    evman New Member

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    How do you know he would never go for it? Has he told you that or are you just assuming? If my wife came to me with that idea it wouldn't be able to happen fast enough for me. Many men are into seeing their SO with another man. Mention it to him during sex one night. Tell him that you wonder what it would be like to have two cocks to play with and see what his reaction is. You could also watch a porno that has a MFM scene. Make the comment that it looks like fun. If he has already told you he won't go for it then you should leave it as a fantasy if you intend to stay with him
     
  20. Tira

    Tira New Member

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    Thanks to everyone who gave me suggestions that didn't involve seeking professional help--that actually helps me. I would say I'm a pretty normal girl with a good sex life/drive and maybe it's a little stronger than others ;) I think that the obsession you're talking about wouldn't lead me to ask questions, it would lead me toward reckless behavior and perhaps emotionally harming those I care about in order to carry out a fantasy. Instead I looked here for suggestions, advice and perhaps a better way to move forward. So thanks again to everyone who provided useful advice :)