cuddling after sex...what does that mean?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by luvsmusiccm, Oct 31, 2010.

  1. luvsmusiccm

    luvsmusiccm New Member

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    im in a "FWB" relationship with a guy. I dont want to take any further than that with him. I don't know what's he trying to tell me. He doesn't open up well. It was the 1st we cuddled afterwards and we talked for a few minutes.

    Then later he gave me a quick kiss on the lips which I was taken by surprise and appreciated me being there for him.

    He the one that does the calling when he wants something. I rarely do.
  2. Mandy87

    Mandy87 New Member

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    hmm maybe he is starting to like u ?

  3. Cheeky

    Cheeky New Member

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    maybe he does like you - or a basic sign of affection and just wants to make it feel "complete"
  4. Ready2Please

    Ready2Please Gold Member

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    He could be starting to like you like the others said. I was in FWB thing with my ex. When we were dating he loved to kiss me but something happened where he didn't want to kiss me anymore.

    I think kissing is a connection thing. It makes the person feel more connected to you and same for the cuddling.

    My relationship before my current breakup I was with this guy since 2000 and we both were lovers and friends. But he is a very physical guy which I liked very much. He liKed kissing and hugging me.

    Some people are different that way. Talk to him about this but don't get mad at him for that stuff.
  5. HardRocker

    HardRocker Gold Member

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    Unless he's a selfish bad-guy user, of course he likes you. And he's sensual. Good qualities, I'd say.
  6. Alwayslearningsex

    Alwayslearningsex Active Member

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    Totally agree here, kissing, hugging and cuddling mean a lot for a physical person but this is usually done when caring and attraction are there, if someone feels accepted, otherwise myself I would not bother with it.
    Which makes it less than good as an overall experience.
  7. Jess0523

    Jess0523 New Member

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    I would have to disagree. It could mean that he is starting to have more-than-friends feelings, but not necessarily.

    It could be that he just needs more "aftercare". It is possible to show affection with friends without it turning into something more.

    Friends with benefits is a slippery slope. You always run the risk of someone wanting to escalate things. Just talk to him.
  8. lbushwalker

    lbushwalker Gold Member

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    From my own experience it is almost impossible to be in a FWB relationship and having great sex without some closer connection happening over time. No matter what the rules might be at the onset when two people repeatedly connect sexually other things start evolving often subconsciously but ultimately manifested physically such as by kissing with real intent. No matter how unlikely the relationship logically developing I think this is a natural progression.
    Luvs at the very least enjoy the moment even if you don't want to read anything more in it.
  9. FlirtyChick

    FlirtyChick Gold Member

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    I agree with HR. Just because he cuddles and kisses you doesnt mean he wants a relationship deeper than you have. It is a natural response for men and women to feel close to their sex partner immediately following the act....Be glad he is appreciative and attentive. Just sex with nothing else, i.e. some sensuality, gets old after awhile, I don't care how standoffish one it, it just gets empty. Enjoy it!
  10. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Let me tell you about my freshman year at college. I lived on a particular co-ed floor. Of the particular ladies on my floor, several of them engaged in an informal "slut contest" that lasted the whole year. They constantly bragged to each other about how many guys they had sex with over the weekend, what places they did it, which fraternity had the nicest bathrooms, who had the biggest penis, etc... I was currently uninterested in any kind of relationship then (torn up over a breakup).

    But there were also several of the stereotypical Nice Guys on the floor that I was very good friends with. They respected women and would never look for a one night stand, thus these other girls were uninterested in them when it came to sex.
    HOWEVER it seemed that nearly all of them were very interested in close friendships with them. Many of the girls actually picked out their own privately-claimed "cuddle buddies". They would come over on the weeknights, or after a night out coupled with an inevitable sexual encounter and climb into bed with these Nice Guys and feel close to them while watching a movie or talking, etc...

    What was going on was that these girls were having these countless superficial sexual encounters that they would brag about, but would then feel a bit used and lonely, since the encounter lacked any kind of Personal Intimacy. So they sought that out elsewhere with my nice friends. They would go out and get sex with assholes, come back and cuddle with nice guys they could trust to look after them.

    This is what is happening with your male friend. He has probably been in a relationship before and initially missed the consistent sex with a partner. After he's gotten that from a friend for a while, he's starting to miss the intimacy involved in a committed relationship. This doesn't mean that he wants to start a relationship with you (though it MAY be the case), but it does mean that he's looking to fill another emotional void he's feeling with someone that he trusts to treat him well.

    If you don't mind the cuddling and talking, then go with it. Open up a little yourself. If you just want it to be sex, tell him that and let him know that he'll just have to fill his need for intimacy with someone else, and it will be just sex. There is nothing wrong with either, but it does depend on how you feel about it.

    Why did it make you uneasy? Was it just unexpected given the nature of your relationship? Was it out of character for him? You? Do you yourself perhaps have a fear of intimacy, which may explain why you have an attraction to a FWB relationship in the first place? This is not meant to sound accusatory, just for informational purposes. What do you think?

    ~Steve