Cowboy Poetry - Buying a Bra

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Barbwire, Jan 15, 2009.

  1. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    BUYING A BRA

    I ain't much for shopping,

    Or for goin' into town

    Except at cattle-shipping time,

    I ain't too easily found.

    But the day came when I had to go -

    I left the kids with Ma.

    But 'fore I left, she asked me,

    'Would you pick me up a bra?'

    So without thinkin' I said, 'Sure,'

    How tough could that job be?

    An' I bent down and kissed her

    An' said, 'I'll be back by three.'

    Well, I done the things I needed,

    But I started to regret

    Ever offering to buy that thing -

    I worked me up a sweat


    I walked into the ladies shop

    My hat pulled over my eyes,

    I didn't want to take a chance

    On bein' recognized.

    I walked up to the sales clerk -

    I didn't hem or haw -

    I told that lady right straight out,

    'I'm here to buy a bra.'

    From behind I heard some snickers,

    So I turned around to see

    Every woman in that store

    Was a'gawkin' right at me!

    'What kind would you be looking for?'

    Well, I just scratched my head.

    I'd only seen one kind before,

    'Thought bras was bras,' I said.


    She gave me a disgusted look,

    'Well sir, that's where you're wrong.

    Follow me,' I heard her say,

    Like a dog, I tagged along.

    She took me down this alley

    Where bras was on display.

    I thought my jaw would hit the floor

    When I saw that lingerie.

    They had all these different styles

    That I'd never seen before

    I thought I'd go plumb crazy

    'fore I left that women's store.

    They had bras you wear for eighteen hours

    And bras that cross your heart.

    There was bras that lift and separate,

    And that was just the start.


    They had bras that made you feel

    Like you ain't wearing one at all,

    And bras that you can train in

    When you start off when you're small.

    Well, I finally made my mind up -

    Picked a black and lacy one -

    I told the lady, 'Bag it up,'

    And figured I was done.

    But then she asked me for the size

    I didn't hesitate

    I knew that measurement by heart,

    'A six-and-seven-eighths.'

    'Six and seven eighths you say?

    That really isn't right.'

    'Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive -

    I measured them last night!'


    I thought that she'd go into shock,

    Musta took her by surprise

    When I told her that my wife's bust

    Was the same as my hat size.

    'That's what I used to measure with,

    I figured it was fair,

    But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am.'

    This drew another stare.

    By now a crowd had gathered

    And they all was crackin' up

    When the lady asked to see my hat,

    To measure for the cup.

    When she finally had it figured,

    I gave the gal her pay.

    Then I turned to leave the store,

    Tipped my hat and said, 'Good day.'


    My wife had heard the story

    'fore I ever made it home.

    She'd talked to fifteen women

    Who called her on the phone.

    She was still a-laughin'

    But by then I didn't care.

    Now she don't ask and I don't shop

    For women's underwear.


    ~ Author Unknown ~
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    That was delightful, CL. :lol

    I loved it. :D
     
  3. Barbwire

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    The poem brings to mind my breastfeeding days. When my son was first born, my right breast was waaay bigger than his head. I couldn't help but notice it, and was kind of afraid I'd smother him with it if I weren't careful. (He was our first child and I treated him like glass.)

    One day I was feeding him, and I noticed that his head had grown enough to be the same size as my boob.

    I called my husband into the room and said, "Look honey, his head is so big, my breast won't suffocate him."

    He said, "Now there's something you don't hear every day."

    We still laugh about it.
     
  4. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    Hey CL, you can try to suffocate me any time you like. Please.:lol
     
  5. Barbwire

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    Being as how you asked so nicely, sure, Bucky, I'll attempt to smother you with my breasts. The thing is, Righty isn't overflowing a DD anymore. Do ya reckon I can smother you with a B cup?

    For obvious reasons, I'm a big fan of cowboy poetry, glad you found it entertaining, as well, Puss.

     
  6. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    Between the two of them, which is where I'd like to be, I'm sure you will have me breathless.:brow
     
  7. igor

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    Hey CL, I'll take a nice pair of B's any day.:D:D
     
  8. heelfetish

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    hehehehe Loved the poem, CL! Thanks for sharing!!!
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    LOL Cute, CL!
    I had to send that one to my sis AND my wife.