Couples sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Londyn, Oct 19, 2015.

  1. Londyn

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    I was speaking to my friend who's been married for 8 years and she told me she only has sex once a week sometimes less and it has always been like. I find it very weird that they would only have sex so little... She says it's because she is an illness that makes her tired and be use they have kids...but I have kids and had back surgery twice and me and my boyfriend who I live with have sec 5-6 times a week sometimes it my be 3-4 but no less then that unless I have my period...I just don't get that once a week crap it would never fly in my house ever..what do u think?
     
  2. sensless

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    I think kids are different. Perhaps hers demand more time and energy than yours. Back problems are different. Perhaps hers are worse than yours. Libidos are different. Perhaps hers and her husband's are lower than yours.

    Comparing sexual lives doesn't really make sense. We like to know what others do, but that should be just for curiosity's sake. Their life is what it is.

    Perhaps their sex is repetitive and having it everyday would bring boredom. Then one would suggest to try new things. But perhaps she and her husband aren't into things you'd find fun.

    Quantity isn't as important as quality for everybody.

    Perhaps her professional life is more demanding than yours. Or her stress levels are higher.

    I just hope she's a good match for her husband and vice-versa. But they did choose each other, so that should be the case.
     
  3. Amature

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    My first wife and I had sex once a week sometimes, then maybe once a month, and finally once a year and sometimes not then. Our marriage was strong enough we didn't need sex to keep us together. Or so she said.
     
  4. Alwayslearningsex

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    once a week is too rare for me, I even masturbate a few times a week.
    Women are different with age, sex drive, it changes for some once they have kids, and the relationship dynamics overall.
     
  5. whybother

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    Counting how often you have sex is like keeping score, andwhen it comes to Love, if you are keeping score, you have already lost.
     
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  6. lbushwalker

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    Everyone is different and even in different circumstances libido varies.
    For instance; when I am with SO we constantly touch and are permanently in a state of semi arousal so we fuck a lot but when we are apart my libido dives and I rarely even masturbate.
    However I do understand Londyn's amazement; her libido is such that she will have sex whenever it is possible and she cannot imagine others not being likewise :)
     
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  7. Rooster1980

    Rooster1980 New Member

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    I've been with my wife now for 12 years. in the beginning we had sex like all the time. But with age and working different time shifts sex doesn't happen all the time. we do kiss everyday and touch each other and i know when she's horny and wants to have sex. But sex isn't everything about being married its friendship and sharing lifes little moments with each other. if i had to count and put it to a number i would say we have sex 3 times a week. But who really care's, sex is sex and making love is better.
     
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  8. lucky5338

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    I have an excellant relationship with my wife and I love her dearly despite the fact that we have not had any form of sex activity since after the first 6 months of marriage and that was 27 years ago. She is just not interested so we manage as a couple. I am still very horny - even more so since meeting so many lovely ladies here and maybe one day I will get lucky and have some cyber sex with someone I really care for. In the mean time I have to stick with masturbation on my own - never quite the same LOL. Notwithstanding all of this I am relatively happy most of the time and although advanced in years I am not ready to give up yet. :D
     
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  9. Abc27

    Abc27 New Member

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    It's complicated. My wife and I haven't done it since august, before that it was June. But in the past we've done it plenty, think the most was 15 times over a bank holiday weekend. In honestly the thought of that is slightly intimidating now!

    We'd both like to have more sex but like a lot of people life gets in the way. It's very easy for sex to be something "you've got time for later", especially when you've got a bunch of other stressful things in the front of your mind.

    Once you start not doing it you often fall into a rut. We've purposefully dug ourselves out before, but in all honestly it does take a concentrated effort sometimes....weird as that might sound.

    I think it's also part and parcel of being in a long term relationship TBH, sex can easily fall by the wayside if you've got other things on your mind. More so for my wife than me TBH. I masturbate almost daily, often with her help direct or indirect, but I often feel bad for pressurising her when I know she's got stuff on her mind.

    Yes - it is pretty dumb us both being sexually frustrated. Very dumb in fact. But its also pretty common i reckon.
     
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  10. Rooster1980

    Rooster1980 New Member

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    yes i agree some times i'm in the mood but i can tell my wife just wants to rest. like last night it was our first time in ages alone in the house without our roommate and she fell a sleep on the couch as i was watching a movie. i do love watching her sleep. The thing is when we are alone and both our days have been hard its like why have sex why not just be together. Like i have said sex is just a thing. yes I admit it but making love and being one with each other is the best thing in the world. I know she Masterbates when i'm not at home and I do as well. But when we are in a rut we get together and fireworks go off.
     
  11. macker

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    Age, careers, newness of relationship, children....so many things play into how often is normal. Some people wish they were having a romp as often as once a week! To each his own, just do what keeps you and your partner happy. Comparing gets you nowhere.
     
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  12. ViolatorGirl

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    My libido has always been a lot higher than my husband's. He requires a lot more time than many (it seems) other guys I know to recover, and that's alright by me. That's why I have my toys :) 2 or 3 times a week is pretty normal for us. 4 is pushing it for him, but it does happen occasionally. Of the remaining 4 days, I probably masturbate 3 times... Or 3 times in one day lol

    We've been married for 6 years, together a total of 12, and we've been quite consistent with our sex life in that time frame. I think we're doing quite well for ourselves :)
     
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  13. Rooster1980

    Rooster1980 New Member

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    wow ViolatorGirl sounds like you and your husband really have it all. I'm happy for you both
     
  14. awsumcpl.01

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    we try to squeeze in 2-3 times a week, but some weeks are different than others, due to all the other demands!!
     
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  15. Sagittarius84

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    My opinion is that people typically work to maintain something they value. So while I get that life, family, etc., can get in the way one must ask oneself if they value their sexual lives and what they are willing to do to maintain it. Personally in my household sleep tends to take a higher priority than sex. I already do with less sleep anyways, so I will gladly forsake some for good sex...my gf begs to differ, and while I try to maintain an aura of understanding, it essentially feels like rejection, or rather deprioritization. So im with OP in spirit. That once a week shit is for the birds, and it would be awesomely appreciated if those SOs with lower or diminishing libidos either took action to correct the issue, or were more proactive in addressing the needs and desires of their high libido partners.
     
  16. LongwoodU

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    Before she got pregnant it was around 3 times a week.. give or take. I'm hopeful we will get back to that post baby... once it starts sleeping regularly.
     
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  17. lbushwalker

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    Good luck, never happened for us :(
     
  18. Sagittarius84

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    I'm on month 10, even with little guy sleeping regularly, gf is still wishy washy...good luck
     
  19. Lovnflman

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    At this point in my marriage (17 years) I'd be ecstatic with once a week. It's been years!
     
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  20. LongwoodU

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    We're about once a week now..... working on getting back to it!