Coping with a Breakup or Divorce?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Untamed, Mar 12, 2011.

  1. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

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    I have read this and it has helped me plenty.

    Just wanted to share in case there maybe others in the same situation.

    Much Love

    Candy
     
    #1 Untamed, Mar 12, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2011
  2. Beach

    Beach New Member

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    ty Candy !
     
  3. Untamed

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    You're welcome Beach :)
     
  4. Beach

    Beach New Member

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    I guess at the moment were the only ones that found it useful.. Lol.
    Whicch actually is a good thing I guess. Ha
     
  5. Trond

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    I have actually never broken up ever, as my current relationship is the only actual relationship I have ever had. I think I would feel completely lost if we broke up :ugh. I have sometimes thought about it because of some sexual problems we have, but we are also each others' best friends.

    In the past, I have had my heart thoroughly crushed at least twice. Once because of a girl I had high hopes about, but who chose someone else, and the other time because of a girl I knew I could never have, but couldn't stay away from. When she moved back to her home country I flipped out. It was actually scary how bad it felt considering that we were never a couple, but we were close in a sort of strange way. Yes I was a bit lonely back then.

    Sorry for my more or less random babbling :eyes
     
  6. Untamed

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    I am glad that there aren't as many people that may have found this useful. Shows most people are in a great place at the moment.

    and Trond this can also be helpful when having your heartbroken or losing someone significant in your life.
     
  7. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    did you just have a breakup?
     
  8. Untamed

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    Yes I did.
     
  9. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    wow sorry to hear that you gonna be ok?
     
  10. Untamed

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    The link I posted has helped me realise a few things and it's going to be a while but eventually I will be.
     
  11. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    good stuff life's too short and youth fades quickly
     
  12. backcheck64

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    Sorry Candy.

    I've only been broken up by one woman, now I did the breaking up with dozens...but that was all about 30yrs ago. Started dating my wife 28.5 yrs ago, married 24 and it's hard just being apart a couple of nights. Three years ago we had booked a vacation and a great job happen to fall into my wifes lap, she of course took it but the vacation was paid for so I took the kids and went to Florida without her...the longest week of my life, and no not because I had the kids by myself. Just a month ago, my son had a hockey tournament in Chicago over 4 days, she couldn't get off work so I took the kids and went. All I thought about that weekend was her, and the kids. Have no idea what I'd do without her. I don't have any advice in this area. It's my biggest fear, not of a divorce, but something like a car accident.
     
  13. Untamed

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    I am envious but also happy to see that there is a love out there that survives and to me sounds still very passionate.

    Even brought a tear to my eye.
     
  14. backcheck64

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    It's out there, not always easy to find, and you have to be willing to take a chance. And even then, it takes a concerted effort to keep the passion and careing going. It's all too easy to get too comfortable and complacent, and then you wind up taking the other one for granted and then things get messy. People get to the point were they forget what it's like without the other person and get immersed in their own world and forget about the others needs or feelings. Too often one starts to slip away, the other gets fustrated and slips the other direction and rather quickly you two are too far apart to see eachother. Both need to make sure this doesn't happen or at least recognize when it starts and put an end to it.

    I hope you find someone you can feel this way about Candy. Keep looking and don't be afraid to jump in if you really feel a connection. Just be sure that connection is on multiple levels, you need to share views, political, social, religious..share interests from sports/activities, hobbies...and the physical attraction and passion has to be there. If any one of these are missing, it will likely sink the ship.
     
  15. Alwayslearningsex

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    Yup, it's not easy Taken.
    Only time and support will get you through, and a positive
    outlook knowing you will be fine in the end.
     
  16. Foragoodtime403

    Foragoodtime403 New Member

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    So I briefly read this article and fully intend on concentrating on it further in the future. I'm currently in the process of seperation from my wife and of course am open to any literature of this sort. Some of the bits in it however, I wonder if I will experience. For example, it specifies frequently that one might have the feelings that they will not be able to deal with the future alone. I on the other hand have the exact opposite feelings. I feel that I have no future together and actually look forward to what I will accomplish outside of the marriage. Our seperation is by no means one sided, we realize that we just can't figure out how to be together. We've tried therapy but to no avail.

    So what I wonder is why I'm not having some these feelings listed in the article. I'm feeling guilty actually that it seems to be quite easy for me get over the relationship.

    By the way, this is my first posting on the site, I just joined yesterday and will be keeping my eye out for all things that might be able to help. Seems like a great place to open up.
     
  17. DWB

    DWB New Member

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    Very nice article!
     
  18. Stefanie

    Stefanie New Member

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    Welcome to :sf. :)

    You might want to talk to your therapist about this - it could be that you are unknowingly suppressing those feelings, you could have moved on already, or it could be something else entirely.

    My now ex-boyfriend did that with his previous girlfriend and with me - he cut himself off emotionally long before the actual breakup, so by the time things were over it didn't hurt anymore.

    I think in some ways that's easier - I didn't do that and I'm certainly still hurting a bit right now. He took it in stride.
     
  19. docpete

    docpete New Member

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    I am happier now then I have ever been. She was just to much for me. Loved to yell all the time. Plus did not like to fuck that much. So I am happy as all can be.
     
  20. Beach

    Beach New Member

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    unfortunately that's how these things go typically.. One person is the initiated party.
    The other bears the brunt of it.
    I've been usually the former and usually disconnected myself emotionally before calling it quits. Btw- in my case anyway I didn't disconnect consciously beforehand it just sorta happened that way. Our communication skills were lacking I think.
     
    #20 Beach, May 1, 2011
    Last edited: May 1, 2011