[Ask a Girl] Confused, GF isn't very interested in being creative

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by ISOParadiseCity, Nov 29, 2012.

  1. ISOParadiseCity

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    Sorry, kind of long post here...
    From many posts I have read on relationships and sex, I have the following general conclusion:
    If one is truly interested in the relationship, both people are generally open to mixing things up within reason in the bedroom to keep things fun.
    I have been exclusive with my gf now for only about a month now. So, due to full time jobs, and life, we have sex on about 2-3 days a week.
    She has admitted she 'ideally' could have sex every day. (read: high sex drive)
    I have limitations due to surgery, which is prooving to be a challenge in the bedroom.
    Here's the issue: She CAN orgasm, and actually quite easily from intercourse. But, to her knowledge, only when she is on top. This may not normally be a problem, but as mentioned, I have health issues that make sex a little challenging for the time being. I couldn't take it any more, and the last time we had sex, I basically admitted to her that what she was doing was hurting me, and we would need to be a little more creative when having sex, as my back just isn't ready for that kind of stress. I didn't yell, and I tried to be as nice as possible, as I tried so hard to not mentally traumatize her into never wanting sex with me again.
    Since then, she has been pretty busy, but we still text a little each day, and she has called me. But yesterday, I got the "We will have to get together sometime before you leave town." but she wouldn't commit to a day. "We will see." (I leave town on sunday, and I am gone for five nights). I enjoy her company, and I enjoy her for much more than sex. But I wonder if what happened is a big problem for her.
    She claims to orgasm only ONE way, maybe another way "If your really good." But, sadly, Due to my recovery and physical condition, long lasting (7-10 mins) hard sex is not something I can do at this time.
    Ladies, one month into a relationship, how would you feel about the situation?
    I try pretty hard to mix things up, oral stimulation, hand stimulation, different positions... But she really only is willing to 2 positions, missionary, and her on top. I know sex isnt everything and I shouldnt rush, or be overly concerned, but I AM CONCERNED. As a guy, it is hard on the ego to not be able to satisfy a women who 'normally' doesn't have a problem getting satisfied.
     
  2. 12barblues

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    Had a response typed, then realized I wasn't a girl.....oh well.
     
  3. just4fun

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    First let me say that I am sorry that you are in pain that sucks. As far as what happened if she has a high sex drive and right now you can't fill that role and it has only been a month she maybe looking for other options I'm sad to say. But there are plenty of fish in the sea.
     
  4. ISOParadiseCity

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    Possible yes. Interesting point.
    I may HAVE to assume this be the case.
    Although, she did say "I'm not going anywhere." But her actions don't seem to match up well with that. We will see.
     
  5. AGFUNK

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    Why don't you try her on top but holding onto the bed frame or wall and her on your cock and supporting her weight by her legs and feet. So she is essentially squatting on your cock.

    Also if she is invested in the relationship and not just the sex part of it she will get used to the fact that you have to recover fully first and that this is only temporary.
     
  6. ISOParadiseCity

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    I will try to suggest this to her, but IME, I believe only one woman ever that I've had sex with was even willing to squat over me like you suggest.
    Not sure why. Does this take a lot of fitness or energy to do ? I see it in porn all the time... I have ALWAYS wanted to do that position, for some reason, it is certainly not a common position IME.
    The woman I was with that tried it said it hurt her knees, and she pretty much IMMEDIATELY changed positions.

    As far as being invested in the relationship.... I hope what you write is how she feels. :)
    But her actions are not so much agreeing this week. Hopefully I am just overanalyzing. Time will tell
     
  7. RideNaked2

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    I believe that this can be a difficult position. When I was much younger I tried it many many times. I was very much in shape then...worked out daily and only weighed about 100 pounds (this was when I was in my 20's).

    I will again repeat myself...COMMUNICATION (in MHO) is the key to a great relationship as well as great sex! If you don't have that, the relationship will falter quickly. Just TALK to her and keep talking.
     
  8. 12barblues

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    Yeah, you see that position in porn because the women are all 5'1 and 90lbs. And they can do that sorta thing, where as a woman that looks like a WOMAN , probably can't.....just sayin...
     
  9. AGFUNK

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    I can do it for a few minutes at a time depending on if we're on the bed or floor. The floor seems to be a bit easier.

    You can also try on a chair with her sitting on you facing you and she can move up and down by pushing on the floor.