Conflicted

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by WC1989, May 10, 2015.

  1. WC1989

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    As some of you know the bf and I have had some issues lately. One being our sex life... Or lack there of. I'm saying if lucky once a month... And I don't get to cum.

    We are going on vaca on the 25 alone for 2 nights. Any suggestions on getting some fun sexy time?
     
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  2. 12barblues

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    A fun game is the strangers meeting for first time game... Go out to the same place , separately .. Then go about your business as if you're single for a predetermined length of time.. Then "meet" as tho you don't know each other.
    Being outta town can make this even more fun because of unfamiliar grounds... Watching each other talk with others can be quite a rush. ( just remember not to mislead anyone else) guys can become possessive over their "catch" if you flirt too heavily.. if done right it can be fun.
     
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  3. 12barblues

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    I say all all that , assuming everything else in your relationship is on solid ground? If its not, then I wouldn't do it.
     
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  4. WC1989

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    We are fine in that aspect, but he's not very... Assertive, open, initiating... To be honest it's been pretty dull. I love him dearly and know he's inexperienced, so I've just been hoping time would help ease him out a bit.
     
  5. 12barblues

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    I can only speak for myself, and my relationship.. But for me, my woman's honesty( painful sometimes honesty) and candor brought out a deep trust ( from me, towards her). And that trust boosted my confidence in our relationship tenfold. In turn boosting my confidence an assertiveness in us. And as a result , in the bedroom as well. .. I'm always a broken record on this , but the hardest thing about a good relationship is honest communication. The kind that brings down the walls that we all have. For 30 yrs I had a relationship void of this. Now I have that.. Amazing the difference..
     
  6. pool_shark

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    Have you discussed your concerns with him?
    The role playing thing may work that time, but what happens after that?

    I think you should have an honest conversation with him.
    Let him know what you want out of your sex life and see if the two of you can come to a resolution.
     
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  7. WC1989

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    We have spoke about him not finishing me and his lack of libido and initiation. He says it's just due to stress, so I'm hoping once finals are over things will get better.
     
  8. lbushwalker

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    I am not naturally negative but reading between the lines in all your threads is a deep yearning that constantly goes unfulfilled. There is a major mismatch in your relationship that imho cannot be resolved if so early in there are problems.
    This will over time corrode what is right between you two and always there will be the excuses for non performance.
    However I hope you enjoy your time out.
     
  9. 12barblues

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    agree with this, I spent my life w someone that I was not sexually compatable with. Had issues in other ways also.. In looking back, I'm glad I tried to save, And stay in my marriage.. But I spent to many years staying in a situation that I should have moved away from..
     
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  10. sandwich

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    I like to prepare little sex surprises (like costumes). Not knowing him, only you would know if surprises would be welcome and if so, which ones to choose.

    I hope you can work it out, but I also hope that if you two ultimately aren't compatible that you would not go on too long with him. My ex and I only had sex in common. We dated for a while, then moved in together and got engaged only to learn after almost four years of bring together that we weren't going to make it. We were opposite in every way imaginable.
     
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  11. Clintriprock

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    Wow I dunno. That's F'ed up shit to be honest. Once a month and you don't get to cum? He hasn't heard of the Ladies First rule I take it. You have some great patience I'd say.
     
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  12. Amature

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    I really don't know what to say. It's hard for me to understand a man not wanting to make his lady orgasm. For me, getting her off gives me almost as much pleasure as cumming myself. I'm trying to think back. I think you said previously he didn't want to give you cunnilingus. He only gives you sex once a month and finishes without you orgasming. And he must not enjoy fingering you? I think there should be some red flags raising or alarm bells ringing or something. There's something just not right with this boy. He sounds odd or selfish or something, and I am afraid he will only get worse. A sexy desirable woman such as yourself should not have to ask a young guy for sex or be denied it.
     
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  13. Alwayslearningsex

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    Ouch, this is not good. How long have you been with him?
    Ouch, this is not good. How long have you been with him? Is it okay to ask what's his age?
     
  14. AGFUNK

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    Was this happening before his surgery too?

    You can just try pouncing on him. Or have him walk in on you masturbating? Does he masturbate that you know of? If he doesn't he should. It could raise his libido a bit.
     
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  15. whybother

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    The best part of vacation is spending quality time together which can lead to conversation , communication and openness. Bring some lingerie. Shower together. Order room service. Make it romantic.
     
  16. Doitagain

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    Hmmmm. Well since I don't know all the details I'd say relax , have a couple drinks and get assertive ....maybe take a Dom type role and push the envelope.
     
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  17. billytk1977

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    I dont understand, my wifes pleasure (imo) is much more important than mine. I have stress (not finals) in my life, my ex wife does everything in her power to limit or stop me from seeing my son, the judge has even gotten on her about it yet it still continues, oldest daughter with a jerk that hits her, then stuff in every day job life, so i understand how stress effects one, but i make the choice that her happiness first is the priority. She is my spouce, my friend and my mate. Not my masturbation sleeve and i will not treat her as such.
     
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  18. WC1989

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    Everyone has definitely gave me a lot of insight.
    Finals will be over this week, I'm holding out for improvement.
     
  19. JRB

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    I hate to be the one to just come out and say it but that's complete bullshit.....sorry but it is. If you have a college aged bf that isn't trying to fuck you just about every chance he gets then he may have some issues that he needs to open up about. I'm constantly stressed about work or other issues related to my business, but for me the gym and sex are the best two ways manage the stress.

    I will also say that you must be a pretty sweet girl to put up with him not finishing you off, honestly, the girls I fucked with wouldn't stand for that for a second!
     
  20. cbrmale

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    If he feels insecure about his sexual prowess especially with a more sexually experienced partner, he may try to avoid sex totally. He's inexperienced, sexually dull and no orgasm for his partner, so that could lead to feeling bad about sex. Reassurance and gentle training, using the 'I' word as much as possible, may spice up the 2 day holiday.
     
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