confidence down to 0

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Timon, Feb 4, 2007.

  1. Timon

    Timon New Member

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    i have no confidence left at all,
    i'm a failure, an idiot, i'm bad in bed and i have no clue why my girlfriend
    still loves me realy.

    :(

    i'm starting to think i'm depressed or something,
    because i have the nicest girlfriend, who sais she loves me
    a lot, smiles always when i'm arround, wants nothing more then to
    hold me and do stuff with me,

    and yet i can't help to think that i'm worth shit,

    everyone seems to find me real nice, great person to talk to,
    and so on, turn to me a lot when they have problems.
    They say that to me, that i'm sutch a good friend,

    and i don't see why realy, i'm a fucking idiot ... :(

    but back to the girlfriend,
    as i posted before, we are both new to sex, first partners and stuff,
    so she doesn't expect me to be real good,
    and she just loves it that i try realy hard and all,

    btw, for those who read my reply on the 'pussy eating or licking orwhatever' post,
    i finaly did that, finaly dared to :) the smell was a lot better,
    tasted a little weird still .. and i prob didn't do it so great, because
    i have no clue what i'm doing :(
    :( but well at least she said she realy liked it that i tried

    but anyway, except for that and well the foreplay and all is
    good i think,
    but the sex itself, i still soooo suck at it :( and i'm tiered of sucking at it

    i made no progress at all since a couple months,
    i just always freaking come first after like, not very long in my eyes,
    i'm a freaking idiot :(

    in a result i don't feel like having sex at all lately,
    :( how can she be attracted to me if i have no confidence at all
    anymore??

    i don't know what to do, i'm entirely lost ...

    and i don't wana loose her :( i want the best for her, but i'm afraid i'm not the best for her :(

    i'm just some idiot with serieus confidence problems ..
     
  2. SexyScorp

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    Oh bless you Timon:(

    And well done for having the courage to speak out.

    I too was lacking in confidence at your age and beyond.

    Now....the opposite...!!

    You are obviously a very sensitive young man...oh how lovely...women crave for men like you...who are able to feel SO deeply...

    There is no quick answer with this...

    I spend time and money on counselling and healing and oh my it has been the saviour of me...i learned to care about myself and like who i am...

    Depression can be a curse and a blessing, cos it teaches us so much, teaches us to feel, to reach the depths and of course to having compassion for others.

    Stick with it Timon...accept the love your woman is giving you and from who else offers it...cos you are so worth it...

    Really you ARE!!!

    I work as a healer....will send you some light and here take a big (((((((hug)))))))
     
  3. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    You are looking at the negative, instead of the positive things in your life.

    When I first had sex I was lost as well, had no confidence, I even had problems getting it up and my g/f called me floppy dick.

    She was trying to be funny, but it hurt me pretty badly. But I got through it and now I know I'm good in bed, especially when my g/f walks away to go wash up and twitches the whole time.

    I got that way by reading, using my imagination, talking to my friends, and having no fear in bed.

    I made alot of mistakes at first, but I learned from them. I never thought I was bad in bed, I saw it as a learning experience.

    I learned how to play with my g/f G-spot, and that alone made her desire me.

    Try these three things, one at a time, and your g/f will be satisfied, believe me:

    #1 Find her G-spot - Get her aroused.. kiss her body all over..gently..with wet little kisses. Glide your fingers over her pubic area, and get her excited.

    When you feel that she is soaking wet, put your fingers into her and look for her G-spot.

    It is the spongy, rough patch about three inches inside her at the very top. If you got her fully aroused, you can't miss it.

    Once you find it, just start rubbing it with firm pressure. You will know when you are doing it right when she starts to thrash around or moan.

    Now all you have to do is rub her G-spot until she cums. It isn't that difficult once you find it.

    #2 Learn how to lick her clit

    Most women like when you keep things steady down there, kind of like how we like having our dicks stroked without stopping, or changing up speeds.

    So if you don't know where her clit is, ask her. It is at the very top of her pubic area. Have her take your finger and place it on her clit.

    Start to rub it and get her excited, so it becomes engorged.

    Then it's time to go to town. Get your mouth on it and lick it nice and slow, try not to change up the pattern or it will delay her orgasm (you will want to do this later, but not right now).

    Once she starts to become really aroused, put your mouth on her clit and suck on it nice and steady, and gently let it rub between your teeth..don't apply any pressure, keep your teeth loose, but close enough together so her clit is hitting against them.

    Then all you have to do is hang in there until she cums. It will happen.. it could be 5 minutes or 20. Every woman is different, but this is almost guranteed to work on any woman who isn't dead. So just stay with it until she cums.

    #3 When you are having intercourse with her, put her legs over your shoulders and slide yourself into her. Then use shallow strokes. Put your penis in about 2-3 inches and squeeze your pc muscles and rub your head against the top of her vagina. This will rub against her G-spot and drive her wild.

    Every once in awhile, give her a deep stroke, then back to short strokes.

    Then change it up and give her 5-6 deep, slow ones..back to short, slow strokes..then a few hard and fast deep ones.. get the idea?

    If you cum too quickly, just build up your PC muscles, Google "Male PC Muscles" for exercises you can do.

    It will take a month or so to see any results. So until then, after you cum too fast, just go down on her like I explain above, and play with her Gspot or her clit.

    Just worry about mastering these 3 moves, then move on.
     
  4. SexyScorp

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    Depression is an inner thing....

    No matter how much love, food, drugs, booze we consume,,,if we are depressed they dont touch the core of us at all..

    If you suffer from depression, you have a lot to complain about...its an illness, a curse, a profound sadness which can a times consume...you would have to feel it to understand..

    I have...so has my father and sister.

    Before you can give and make love to another, you have to heal at least a part of yourself which is broken...

    It can take time and understanding and kindess from others

    <3
     
  5. SexyScorp

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    Where did the post go from Puss????
     
  6. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Sorry, I thought it was better if I moved it. I have very strong opinions on certain things, such as depression, and can't therefore post objectively on them.
     
  7. SexyScorp

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    Oh I understand

    I have very strong opinions on depression too...having lived around it and with it for most of my life :(

    Maybe we can talk about it at a later stage?

    <3
     
  8. SexFuneral

    SexFuneral New Member

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    Reading words from another habitual self loather is actually kind of comforting in a way.

    The best advice I can give you I guess would be to...umm....something about not using the affection of others as a substitute for genuine self affirmation.

    Well Im probably the last person who should give any sort of advice. But Im slowly starting to get back on my feet emotionally through creating the affirmation of my existence through my personal accomplishments, I gotta say its worked wonders.

    I hope one day youll blink and suddenly see how much potential you possess.
     
  9. bryanedp9

    bryanedp9 Member

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    you and me both, man... just tell her what's going on in your head and she can help you... they usually do.
     
  10. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Depression is a very serious sickness
    that requires professional help.
    Do not let it destroy your life go get professional help
    I sometimes drive for a clinic that treats only
    depressed people and I see first hand what
    it can do to a person.
    We can give you tons of advice and encouragement
    but that does not help a depressed person
    without medication, And by all means take your
    Girlfriend with you when you go to the Doc
    Just for support, And you will need support.

    Hiker
    :sf
     
  11. SexyScorp

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    Thank God for empathic people in the world...

    Love often heals depression...self love, that is and the love of a good partner...

    Light and healing to you from over the pond

    [​IMG]

    x
     
  12. Misa

    Misa New Member

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    Yeah, having a serious talk with your girlfriend will make things better. I know when I get down, and my boyfriend keeps trying to get me to tell him what's wrong (and vice versa) and we do finally talk about things it seems to always get better and we get happy afterwards. :) So a nice chat will help you. If not then professional help may be more helpful.
     
  13. SexyScorp

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    There are so many young men in rural Ireland who have depression...and no one to talk to about it...

    Its a curse which people are only beginning to understand.

    I have a young son...I will say to him as he gets older to talk it out, either with me or with a friend or guide....

    We as human beings are so fragile at times and so need deeper understanding...

    Its sadly lacking at times...

    Thats why I chose to do the work I do...

    My father was a depressive with lots of hangups..he kept it all inside, until he broke down.

    He now calls me "his psychiatrist"

    lol :)
     
  14. SexyScorp

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    Funnily enough Timon, my Dad uses the same words as you ... failure, idiot etc.

    He is 80 almost and has started to see a psychologist and has just started to open up about his abusive childhood...

    We are so lucky these days to have the help available...

    All we need to do is reach out.......:)
     
  15. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Im not sure if this site will be of any help
    but as i seem to say a lot these days , it cant hurt to give it a go.

    http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/Cat4.html

    My brother suffered from depression for a very long time, he was suicidel for many years ( at least thinking about it ) He finaly went to see a professional for help, he isnt cured , but the drugs they gave him to combat the depression do seem to have helped him a lot, he now has a Girlfriend who loves him , a job that he adores , and his life seems to be on the up an up, which is great news , all credit to him for seeking help, when help was needed.

    To stand up and say you have a problem takes a lot of inner strength, you have that inner strength Timon. And that is a good place to start from.
    Good luck to you and i hope in time you will begine to feel far better about yourself.
    I hope the healing starts Timon.
     
  16. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Great Pic SS Irish no doubt.

    Hiker:sf
     
  17. Timon

    Timon New Member

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    just wanted to let you guys know that i am feeling a lot better atm

    the last week my girlfriend and me did a lot of stuff
    together and with friends, and it was very nice

    except for the few times me feeling a little uncertain
    i felt great and more important my girlfriend had a lot of fun ^^

    only one bad thing happened, i got my grades from
    the last exams (the period i felt very depressed)

    and i got (except for 2 good ones) all 9 on a total of 20 points

    so that is just 1 point to few on a lot of courses ...

    sigh,
    makes me a little mad at myself for being sutch a depressed fool
    in that period,

    but i am better now, not feeling to bad about it or so,
    life goes on and i got a wonderfull girlfriend :)

    and that picture posted here is very nice
    :)

    *hug*

    and btw Puss, your post also helped,
    so you should not have deleted it :)

    *love*

    i am still a little scared that my girlfriend might leave me,
    even if there is no reason to think that at all ...
    but well i do not expect my condifence to be entirely back all
    of a sudden,

    but at least i feel well again and working on it ^^