Concern about big cock and anal.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by loveit247, Nov 14, 2006.

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  1. loveit247

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    Hi all, I have had anal before and it has just been okay. I have not hated it or loved it. It was a little uncomfortable and I was nervous the whole time. I am worried about mess and other "those area" problems. :uhh:

    My question is as follows. My BF is very well endowed, long and thick. He really wants to have anal with me and I have told him I would think about it. The other man I did it with was not small but not as big as my current BF.

    I am nervous on how to handle him. Are there any suggestions on this?
    He is by no means pressuring me, he just mentions it from time to time.
    I know about relaxing and stimulating the anal area, but are there any tips on handling a large man? :nerv
     
  2. greek_god

    greek_god New Member

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    my girlfriend and i talk about our sexual life with eachother very openly, and she had told me that the first time she and i had anal sex, she was pretty scared because of my size, however, she said it was easier for her to be on top in a reverse cowgirl position, this way she could be the one controlling how much of my cock went inside her at a time, and at whatever speed she wanted. either way it felt great for me, so whatever makes her happy makes me even happier.
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I'd suggest that you make it very clear that this is one time that YOU must be in complete control.

    You control the penetration - how deep, how fast, how hard. Both of you may be all worked up & ready, but when it comes to sticking it in.... your "butt" says NO. :lol - Then you both gotta listen to the "butt".

    Don't force the issue.

    If you're worried about cleanliness, especially due to his size, you could opt for an enema. (I know... YUCK! ....) But that's one worry down the drain :rofl
     
  4. loveit247

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    I know, I should clean out before hand. But it is not nice! I will definately clean before hand.

    He is a VERY considerate lover, he is gentle and giving, he will not force it in. I am not worried about that. My flat mate (who is gay) suggests some teething gel, just to numb the area a little, once it soaks in you are A for away. But if you don't let it soak in it will numb the guys bits.

    Any suggestions on how to do an enema without hurting yourself? I have never done it before.
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    You can get an enema package at the drugstore. It has everything you need, along with directions. It shouldn't hurt you.

    I'm not so sure about the numbing gel. I'm certain your flatmate knows his stuff, but remember - pain is the body's way of letting you know that something is amiss. Without that natural warning signal, you could experience serious damage, and not know it until the gel wears off.
     
  6. loveit247

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    You only rub it on the outside sphincter, that way you over come the needing to shit feeling. Apparently no deeper then the outside. So he must just be gentle and I must be clean, that is all that is required.

    The only thing is, every time I have any anal play I end up with a bladder infection. He claims he is really careful but it still happens!
     
  7. RockyRaccoon

    RockyRaccoon New Member

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    Bladder infection? I thought anus was not connected to the bladder. Is he going to vaginal after anal?
     
  8. loveit247

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    No. He is obviously touching the urethra after he has been stimulating my anus. He says he is really careful, probably not careful enough. I have always had a problem with this and anal play.
     
  9. Bluesy

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    I've read that spooning is an ideal beginner's position, for what it's worth. I'm not so sure that the numbing gel is a good idea. If you stretch that sphincter too much too quickly, it could conceivably cause fecal incontinence, and anal certainly isn't worth that. You need to know if there is pain because it will cue you to your body's limits.

    Now this is just a suggestion. You could always tell bf, "I know that you'd really like to have anal sex, but when, and if, I should decide that it's something I'd also like to do, I will let you know." If a partner told me that he really wanted to have anal, as opposed to asking me if it's something I'd like to do, and if he continued to bring it up, I would be feeling some pressure. But that's just me.
     
  10. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    :sf :sf I cannot contribute much here. But wife and I were swingers for app 3 years
    and every time we went swinging she would take 2 enemas app 20 minutes apart, just in case she got pressured into anal, But she never had to resort to that, And I don't even like the idea at all as I like a very prolonged
    lovemaking session that includes pussy to mouth at least 4-5 times
    and to me if I did anal because the girl wanted it, Then that would be the end of the session as I definitely am not going to put it in her pussy ever
    after being in her ass, and I am not going to put it in her mouth unless she is bizarre and wants it, then I definitely am not going to kiss her anymore.
    and then again I would be afraid of fucking another girl later in the party
    even though I did clean up the best I could. To conclude I just don't want to eat shit and don't expect the girl wants to.
    I know I am going to get jumped on and someone will say it is clean
    so if it is that means you can go ahead and fuck her pussy after anal
    Uh uh no you cannot.
    So to me doing anal is putting the brakes an a good evening of sex.
     
  11. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Just came across this.


    There are a few basic things to keep in mind with anal play:

    1. Always use lube. This will make the experience much more pleasant.
    2. Go slow. Take your time when with your partner to get them completely relaxed.
    3. Only use sex toys anally that are flanged at the base. This prevents them from disappearing from site. The one exception is anal beads, which are connected by a strong cord. Other items, especially those attached only by a wire, such as the wire leading to a battery pack, should never be inserted anally. There is a good chance the wire will break when you tug on it.
    4. If you use a toy longer than 4", make sure it is flexible. The anal canal is curved, and you want a toy that will curve with it.
    5. Know the anatomy. It is a good idea to understand a little of the anatomical structure of the anus before you insert something into it. The first three inches or so tilts toward the front of your body, so inserting things at a slight angle in this direction will ease their entry. It then curves towards the back for a few inches. Keep these curves in mind when inserting anything anally.
    6. Never go from anal use of a toy to vaginal use. Bacteria found naturally in the anus should not move into new digs in the vagina. If you want to use a toy anally and then use it vaginally, put a condom on it and slip the condom off before vaginal penetration.
    7. Never go from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse without washing thoroughly first. For the same reason as number 6, obviously. The alternative is the same; remove the condom or replace it before vaginal entry.
    8. Most people, including men, will enjoy some type of anal play. Once you get past people's inhibitions and men's stupid notion that anal stimulation makes them gay, it can be quite a stimulating experience. Not everyone wants something large, though. For some, the Silicone Anal probe or a single finger may be just enough. Others might want a little more stimulation, such as more fingers or a larger toy with vibration.
    9. Never use an anal cream that desensitizes. Not only will this reduce enjoyment, it could lead to the receptive partner being hurt without realizing it. Their cues of how comfortable they are and how relaxed as you penetrate them are critical, and they can not give you accurate feedback if they are numb.
    10. Unprotected anal intercourse is not a safe sex practice. If you are in a situation where you could be at risk, always wear a condom.
     
  12. loveit247

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    Thanks for those tips.

    Bluesy. He doesn't pressure me at all, he mentioned it, asked if I had ever done it and asked if I wanted to with him. I told him I was afraid of his size and he pretty much said that if it doesn't turn me on or if it hurts me it is no biggie. I know he really wants to do it even though he doesn't day much about it. I like anal play and have always wanted to get into anal sex, I just have to work my nerve up to it.

    He is a really considerate lover so I know he would not hurt me and if it did he would stop.

    Thanks for the hints and replies everyone.
     
  13. schwa'd

    schwa'd New Member

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  14. Bluesy

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    Ah, I see. I misunderstood what you were saying :ugh I hope it goes (in) smoothly when you decide to give it a try ;)
     
  15. cbrmale

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    I'm a big guy and have had anal a few times. One position that is recommended is the girl on her back, her left leg near her left shoulder, guy on top. It is strange, but it works! Another was the girl on her stomach, me above.

    I wrote one of these positions (I think the girl on her stomach) into an erotic story and posted it free. I got an email 'thanks for the story, we've done it before and I didn't like it, then we did it your way and now we do it all the time' or something like that. I was flattered and quite jealous!
     
  16. schwa'd

    schwa'd New Member

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    From the bj pics you posted, I can certainly see your dilemma!! ;)
     
  17. Caitlain

    Caitlain Banned

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    Reverse cowgirl is not really a good position for first-time anal. If she loses her balance or whatnot, she'll slip down on your cock, and that would suck majorly. The actual best position for first timers with anal is either the doggy (preferred) or the spooning position.

    I agree with all of that.

    I also agree that you should avoid the numbing gels (for the reasons stated above). The key to doing anal the first time and it not hurting is to prepare for it correctly.
     
  18. luvmywifesass

    luvmywifesass New Member

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    My wife and I have been having anal sex about five times a week for 13 years, or so. My wife and I sarted out doggy-style. After some time, she moved on top. Now, she can bounce full length up and down on my cock, and I'm slightly larger than average. It just takes time to get used to.

    I really recommend Wet Platinum. It's a silicone based lubricant, so it's condom safe, can be used it water, and stays slick for those extended sessions.
     
  19. PitGtarMan

    PitGtarMan New Member

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    Just take your time and relax. Use plenty of lube and be hot as heck. I am supposedly well endowed, my wife was at first nervous about straight sex, but now takes my full length in the rear entrance and has multis. You should build up to it using tongue first then finger, fingers dildo etc.

    Pete
     
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