Christmas Jokes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bella, Dec 1, 2006.

  1. Bella

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    I just had to share this!! ~Bella :lol :lol :lol

    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly
    gates.

    "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess
    something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

    The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
    flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.

    "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

    The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.

    He shook them and said, "They're bells".

    Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

    The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally
    pulled out a pair of women's soiled panties.

    Saint Peter looked with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

    The man replied, "They're Carols."
     
  2. Bluesy

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    :rofl
     
  3. Bella

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    I was doing the same thing!! :lol
    ~Bella
     
  4. Bella

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    Christmas Carols for the Disturbed

    1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

    2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

    3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

    4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

    5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets
    and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and.....

    6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

    7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an
    Open Fire

    8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry,
    I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

    9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at
    the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

    10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
    Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
    Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...