choking?

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by redics_girl, Jul 7, 2013.

  1. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

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    Last night, i tried to be rough with redic. we are both submissives, but he generally takes on the dominant role and has actually grown to enjoy it. we started out with massages, and i was being a little rough with his cock and he seemed to enjoy it, so i tried to be more dominant and rough with him. at one point, i had my hand at his throat while i jerked him off hard and sucked the tip. i've noticed before that he likes my hand at his throat, as i've done it sometimes when he's on top- he will push up and lean away from me and thrust into me deeper if my hand is holding him back. I dont ever put pressure, and its never bothered me before, but last night, it made me really uncomfortable. I normally orgasm at least 2-3 times during sex with him, but last night, it was impossible. i am not at all comfortable in a dominant/rough role, but its something he enjoys. every time i try to be that way for him, the sex for me is extremely awkward and afterward, i am very withdrawn and generally freaked out. i remember once, he bought sex tape, and i thought he was going to use it on me. but he laid down on the bed instead and asked me to wrap him in it. when i was done, i took one look at him and fled the room, he had to unwind the tape himself and come find me. last night, the feeling after the sex was over was similar to the tape incident, and i felt so weird about it, i actually wanted to cry. i didn't want to freak redic out though, so i didn't, but it was an extremely awkward night. is there any way to get over this? or am i just unable to perform this role for him? i really don't feel good about not being able to do this for him, even just occasionally, but given my reactions in the past, i don't think i can do it again.
     
  2. cherrie_84

    cherrie_84 New Member

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    I've come across this same issues with my BF. He wants me to be dominant more often but I'm very submissive in all parts of life that its just more natural to be that way. I've found a little bit of alcohol helps me get a bit more confident and cocky. Is yours a confidence issues or are you just turned off by the sights? If its that maybe watching some porn will help you visually get used to it. If you still find that you can't, it's probably time to have a talk. I know its tough cause you want to please :( , but you can't keep feeling this uncomfortable during sex. You'll probably find he will be more upset if you didn't discuss it than you being uncomfortable.
     
  3. losixxx

    losixxx Member

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    Me and my SO tried the switch it jus did not work out finaly she just told me that she did not feel comfortable with that roll at all. It didnt feel right and awkward, she prefered to being the sub she enjoyed being dominated. Honestly things have been alot better boundries is alot more clearer. Point is it sounds like you have found yourself to be strictly sub its mor fulfilling. As to you trying to be dom its having the reverse aspect.
     
  4. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

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    i've tried watching femdom porn, but it just really turns me off. we talked about it some more today, he understands its just not something i think i'm ever going to be in to.
     
  5. paintedblue

    paintedblue Member

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    RG, Don't feel bad..
    I'm uncomfortable about it too.. the wife has asked for this in the past a few times, but to be honest it just didn't do anything for me. I don't mind being dominant.. actually I enjoy it, but I cant help think that one of these times I might go too far.. leave a choke mark, or worse.
    We discovered that it wasn't the choking that was giving her the thrill.. but the feeling of being commanded. So now all I have to do to get her to that point is grab a fist full of hair, or be very assertive with my "commands".
    She gets to be dominated, and I don't have to feel like I am going to hurt her. Win/win
     
  6. Anotherday

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    One night a few months ago my wife was topping me (we switch occasionally) and she began to aggressively choke me during intercourse. It took me aback a little and then I got more into it, but in the end it more or less distracted me from what I was already doing and I wound up having quite a time cumming.

    I enjoyed yes, even took some nice slaps from her, but it just isn't something that is going to set me over the edge orgasm wise.

    We talked about it later and I explained to her that for me I like to separate actions like this or any masochistic indulgences from, well, fucking. Come to think of it I don't know if she fully understood as she really hasn't topped me since. May need to bring this up with her again.

    On the other hand I do and she does enjoy a light choking whether it be foreplay or during sex. For her it's more of a feeling of being under my control with a slight fearful edge to it.