Last night, i tried to be rough with redic. we are both submissives, but he generally takes on the dominant role and has actually grown to enjoy it. we started out with massages, and i was being a little rough with his cock and he seemed to enjoy it, so i tried to be more dominant and rough with him. at one point, i had my hand at his throat while i jerked him off hard and sucked the tip. i've noticed before that he likes my hand at his throat, as i've done it sometimes when he's on top- he will push up and lean away from me and thrust into me deeper if my hand is holding him back. I dont ever put pressure, and its never bothered me before, but last night, it made me really uncomfortable. I normally orgasm at least 2-3 times during sex with him, but last night, it was impossible. i am not at all comfortable in a dominant/rough role, but its something he enjoys. every time i try to be that way for him, the sex for me is extremely awkward and afterward, i am very withdrawn and generally freaked out. i remember once, he bought sex tape, and i thought he was going to use it on me. but he laid down on the bed instead and asked me to wrap him in it. when i was done, i took one look at him and fled the room, he had to unwind the tape himself and come find me. last night, the feeling after the sex was over was similar to the tape incident, and i felt so weird about it, i actually wanted to cry. i didn't want to freak redic out though, so i didn't, but it was an extremely awkward night. is there any way to get over this? or am i just unable to perform this role for him? i really don't feel good about not being able to do this for him, even just occasionally, but given my reactions in the past, i don't think i can do it again.