Cheating spouse?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by BitchN, Oct 20, 2012.

  1. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    How would you know if your spouse or other was cheating on you?

    Are there any signs that the cheating spouse may give off but you just don't recognize because your to trusting?

    If you know of any tell...tell signs please share.........
     
  2. OverSinged

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    Well... I only know the really obvious ones, but I'm assuming most of them revolve around said spouse being sneaky and touchy on subject they weren't before.
     
  3. backcheck64

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    Do you have access to his phone and email? If he keeps his passwords hidden from you, you may have a cheater.

    Has his sexual patterns changed, new moves, less interested? if so, you may have a cheater.

    Does he have some late nights at work, over nights, strange schedules or sudden changes to his schedules? if so, you may have a cheater.

    If you suspect something, it's usually right.
     
  4. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    ^ I told my friend to check his phone, but she said that was invading his privacy and wouldn't do it. She doesn't think her husband is cheating on her, but when he doesn't want to have sex but once or twice every four months that sent a red flag up to me.
    I thought if I could get input from here on how he might show signs, I could ask her if he is doing the same.
     
  5. 12barblues

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    Lets simplify this , and say, if you can't trust the man to not cheat......does it really matter if he is or not? You'll never find peace with someone you don't trust....so communicate, and find trust. Or find someone that you CAN trust...
    ...having to be a detective in a relationship is like having a job you don't get paid for...
    And as BC said....trust your instincts...I told my friends I thought my ex was cheating..all said there was absolutely no way she would do that....they were wrong.
     
    #5 12barblues, Oct 22, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2012
  6. cbrmale

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    The most common sign is the person will become more sexually attracted to their current partner. Goes against the cliche but this is often what happens. If they're less interested in their current partner then something else is happening; probably the end of the relationship rather than an affair per se.
     
  7. Mary11

    Mary11 Member

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    Well I caught mine by coming home earlier than I was meant to from a trip away. Apart from catching him in the act it is hard to proove anything
     
  8. Essene

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    Lies are easy to tell and easy for people to believe.

    It's actually beneficial to be "touchy" or "wrong" about certain facts.
     
  9. backcheck64

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    In a marriage, there is no privacy between partners. Everything should be shared between them. If they are causal aquaintances, then yes, but even during the act of getting marriage states "the two shall become one"....end of "privacy". If she can't freely look at his emails or phone...they dont' have a marriage.
     
  10. Dragon_Fire

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    Yes, I've observed this too. I think the buzz of the affair raises their libido.
     
  11. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I agree with......trust is everything, but I'm sure at one point you trusted your ex, even tho she proved not to be trustworthy.
    My friends situation is backwards from yours, everyone is telling her they thing some thing is up, either he is cheating or doing some thing secretive because of how he is acting.....not only with her but with every body. It's like he is distancing his self from her, family and friends.
    Where you thought your ex was cheating, she says he would never cheat on her....she trust him......

    I agree with you, my cousin got divorced a few years ago because he was cheating, and the had sex all the time......she never had a clue, until he got caught.

    I told her what you said......about the privacy. She is going to ask to look at his phone. I guess we will see......
     
  12. 12barblues

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    Yes, this was my experience as well.....our sex life picked up, and she started offering to do things that she had refused to do before....it became obvious what was going on...
     
  13. AGFUNK

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    Just because he's distancing himself from her doesn't mean he's cheating. It could however mean that he's getting ready to end things with her. She should just talk to him about it and if it really bothers her then check his phone.
     
  14. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    So at this point, the privacy and the infrequency of sex could be signs of cheating. Also possible he has a medical issue, but that should be shared not hidden.
     
  15. sandwich

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    My former fiance cheated, and these were the signs.....

    He upped his grooming routine like crazy.
    All of a sudden he had a big increase in his opportunities to play chess.
    He behaved suspiciously while he was on his phone.
    There were guilty vibes coming from him.

    So he found himself a chess playing girl who was not in love with all things music and sports. I'm just guessing about the music and sports, but that would not surprise me. When I confronted him he didn't own up to it, but a couple of days later he did, and he said that he still loved me......wrong thing to say during a breakup. I was not right for him, and that was a hell of way to realize that, but omg, I am so better off.

    Our sex life stayed about the same. He still wanted his almost daily fuck. He broke my heart, but it's better that it happened then than during marriage. It really opened my eyes to the need to have some things in common other than sex. We really should never have gotten engaged to begin with, but at least now I have the chance to be with someone who is open to being sexually adventurous and who I can be silly with and do things with that we both enjoy.

    Regarding your friend....the two women I know who suspected cheating were correct. I don't know about men, but women seem to have radar for that sort of thing. Hopefully, your friend's situation is an exception.
     
  16. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Ok she asked him to see his phone and he told her no.....well she looked at his phone while he was in the shower, he had it set on a game so when she got on it, it changed the game settings......when he got out if the shower he checked his phone, and got pissed off at her. Told her she had no right to go thru his phone that it was an invasion of his privacy and his rights.

    And she saw where he had erased text conversation on his phone.
     
    #16 BitchN, Oct 27, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2012
  17. backcheck64

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    If you've got nothing to hide, there is no harm in letting your spouce look at your phone or computer. He's cheating. There is no expectations of privacy between you and your spouce.
     
  18. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    That's what I keep thinking......do you think she might not want to know?
    And have to face the fact that he might be cheating?
     
  19. backcheck64

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    Definately possible. Easier not knowing. No drama that way, but if he is and not using protection (even though protection is still no guarantee), she's open to STDs.
     
  20. RideNaked2

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    Actually...I'm calling bullshit on this statement!^^

    I don't think that marriage outranks privacy at all. Even married people have a right to some privacy, married or not you're still human.

    My suggestion...JUST ASK the man if he's cheating...open up conversation about it. It might not be that at all! Don't assume ANYTHING. You would hate for a marriage to be ruined due to assuming something...don't you think? JMhO.

    COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION...one of the number 1 things in a marriage or should be!