Cheating on your current partner

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Brad, Jan 11, 2006.

  1. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    If you are currently cheating on your partner I will be interested to know:

    (1) Do you feel any guilt?
    (2) Is it a case of what isn't know won't cause any harm?
    (3) Do you have a plan to cope with things if your partner discovers it?

    If you are not currently cheating on your partner:

    (1) Could you be tempted if the right opportunity was presented to you?
    (2) If you had that opportunity presented and was 100% confident that it could be kept a secret, would you cheat?
     
  2. nici11

    nici11 New Member

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    I would never cheat on my boyfriend under any circumstances! I don't care who would walk through my bedroom door and attempt to seduce me. The hottest man with the best sex techniques couldn't keep me from the one person i truely love. The relationship is worth too much to me to ruin it on something stupid like that.

    I would assume there are many people out there that would cheat on thier partner. Which to me would make it seem like the relationship isn't worth that much to them.

    I don't think cheating is acceptable in any circumstance, unless it was something weird, like you wanted out the the relationship but could leave for a horrible reason.
    That's just my oppionon though.
     
  3. Shellen77

    Shellen77 New Member

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    I could NEVER cheat on my boyfriend. I love that man too much & I just don't even have the temptation to do so.

    IMO, if you feel the need to do so, you don't really care or love your partner. Please cut them loose. They deserve better than you.
     
  4. Kisses

    Kisses New Member

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    There is no way I could ever cheat on someone I love! I wouldn't want to risk losing the one I truely love!
     
  5. Thorn

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    I like you girl's answers. :) Since I don't cheat I will answer the last part.

    Could I be tempted? Most likely but being tempted is not wrong, it's normal. How you act on the temptation is what counts. I really don't think I would cheat if I had the opportunity. But then again I don't want to put myself in that situation, or take the chance. I don't think I would.
     
  6. Joe

    Joe
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    I am not and hope I never do.

    That said, I've always felt that most people, myself included, would cheat if the right circumstances presented themselves at the right time. In my current relationship that's highly unlikely.

    If it happened, even if I was 100% sure nobody else would ever know, I'd still know.
     
  7. eandvk

    eandvk Member

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    Since being married Ive had a couple of times when I could have cheated and nobody else would have known. Thats just not me....I love and respect my wife way too much to ever do that to her. I have too much to lose and for what...a piece of ass...just not worth it....I have a great , beautiful wife, 2 great kids, a nice home, financial security and my self respect. No extra tail is worth losing what Ive strived for in my life....especially since the sex in my marriage is often and very very satisfying.
    Just to add, I certainly wouldnt be very happy if my wife fooled around on me....so why do that to her.
     
  8. FlaminFrancesca

    FlaminFrancesca New Member

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    I so totally agree with this statement.

    Even if the opportunity arose where no one else would know, my worst critic and the only person whose opinion of my true self I care about (aside from hubby's) would know... me. And that would haunt me to the end of my days.
     
  9. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    A very good observation. And a good response!
     
  10. Logger

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    Dear Brad,

    You have raised some thoughtful questions. Good post.

    My concern in my marriage is getting more of what I want from my wife. I feel that I am not a very good liar, and I am fairly up front with my feelings. So getting away with cheating is not realistic for me.

    Further, if I display the composure of a cheating spouse, I feel that I will not be getting more from my wife. I expect that I would be getting less, by cheating. Since I want more from my wife, cheating is counterproductive to my interests. I don't think cheating would enhance my personal charisma in my marriage.

    Blessings
     
  11. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Thanks folks for your interesting replies so far :)

    It seems to me that we are a faithful bunch of lovers!

    It is very interesting at how the male replies differ from the female ones so far. It will be especially interesting to see comments from anyone whom admits to currently cheating :eyes

    To answer the questions myself:

    1 to 3 aren't relavent as I have never cheated.

    If a desireable opportunity was handed to me on a plate and if there was zero chance of discovery, I am fearful that would cheat. (I'm only being honest)

    However, that scenario can never exist in reality which is why I have remained faithful.

    I have a male friend whom is married with a lovely child and he cheats constantly with multiple partners. He tells me that it is like a stiff drink to an alcoholic. He simply can't say no to it.
     
  12. igor

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    I'm like you Brad - if the opportunity arouse under the right circumstances, with the right person, I'd be tempted to cheat. A while ago I would have said no way. But my wife has refused to have sex for the past 2 years. For a number of reasons, divorce is not an option.
     
  13. ViciousVamp

    ViciousVamp New Member

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    I'm not currently cheating on my bf, I could be tempted to do so, but I wouldn't, even if I knew I could keep it a secret. I love my man too much to do that.
     
  14. hotbabe28

    hotbabe28 New Member

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    I would never cheat on my boyfriend, I love him to much. I'm not a good lier I can't look at someone I love and lie to them. I have a great man, I'm happy, a wonderful sex life, and he treats me like a queen. I'm very happy with him and no one could temp me, not even Ben Affleck or Phil Collins (as I put in my profile) :D
     
  15. dojo

    dojo New Member

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    I never cheated and wouldn't ever. If I don't like a guy I just break up, cheating is not the way for me. If I am with a guy then I am loving him, can't cheat the man you love ;)
     
  16. TheBobT

    TheBobT New Member

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    I cheated three months ago on my current girlfriend. She went home for a weekend and one thing led to another with one of her friends and we wound up making out and her taking her shirt off. I was able to keep it a secret from my girlfriend for a week but the guilt of what I had done was eating me up inside so I finally told her. She did not talk to me for about a week, and did not see me for two weeks. On the third week we kissed again. On the fourth week make out. It is now just over 3 months since I cheated and I still have a lot of proving to her that I can control myself. We are like back to normal, she never sleeps over anymore though, we do nothing sexual except kiss, I am not allowed to touch her chest even through a shirt. But I love her with all of my heart and she loves me to so it will just take her time until she trusts me again and I am willing to wait as long as that takes. I am with her for HER not for her boobs. I have also given up porn with strong urgings from her.:(

    That said I should say that she is my first girlfriend. I am almost 20 and in college. We have been dating for 17 months.

    To anyone out there that thinks about cheating, DONT DO IT!!! If you have any form of a soul the guilt will eat you alive.

    Be faithful and be thankful for having the one you love.
     
  17. UGA08

    UGA08 Banned

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    Thanks for sharing Bob, sorry what happened happened but at least the two of you have made up (to an extent) and are still together and happy.

    I've never cheated on my girlfriend before and can't see myself doing it either. I love her too much to hurt her...even if I did cheat on her and she never found out, I would feel guilty just as you explained because she deserves so much better than that.
     
  18. antiorder

    antiorder New Member

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    I'll be honest in that I didn't read every single response... but I'd like to give my pennies worth in here...

    I have cheated on my current partner, and he has attempted to cheat on me... [it's a very long story] And in all honesty, when it's all elaborated on it's not an unrecoverable situation. A lot of times it's stemmed from other problems in the relationship working against both partners, and if you can overcome that like my boyfriend and I have, then go for it.

    But many people cannot ever survive after such event... which is completely understandable. And I respect all of those who answered "never" or something of the like, and hope indeed you don't fall into anything like this... ever.
     
  19. haolcatx

    haolcatx New Member

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    I am in the never cheated category but I found out something really interesting about a friend of mine whom I have known for years. When I say never category I figure that includes sexual pleasure with someone I know is married or in a relationship. This woman friend of mine has been dating a married guy for about 18 plus months. She is aware he is married, that he is never planning to divorce his wife and that she is the "second fiddle". The wife does not know about the relationship. What is interesting about it is she sees it as any other typical person would see a relationship.
    They go to restaurants, out to the park, act as a couple--like a gf and than this guy, whom I don't know (hence why she likely told me) goes home to his wife. Strange isn't it?
     
  20. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I've been cheated on a lot on the past, so much so that I thought it was simply a part of any relationship, that all men are naturally inclined to be unfaithful and would be so if they knew they wouldn't get caught. My story is painful and makes me sound just as bad as my ex, for putting up with it I mean. He and I got jobs as TEFLs at a conversation school in Japan and he had assured me that I didn't need to worry about him cheating on me while were in Japan (he had strayed before and it almost ended our relationship) because, in his own words, "I'm not interested in Japanese women."

    So you can probably see what's coming. About a month after we arrived, he began spending a lot of time with one of his students, and my spending time I mean, going shopping, going out to lunch, etc, things that couples normally do together. At one point he went on an overnight trip with her to Yokohama during which I'm almost certain he had sex with her. The only reason I'm not entirely certain is that he initially told me, yes, he had slept with her, but later retracted that, saying that he hadn't slept with her but just told me he did in order to hurt me. For me, at least the second option was more definitely more hurtful.

    At first the two of them tried to keep their relationship a secret, but their efforts were so feeble after a while I told him that if we wanted to fool around on me, he might as well do it out in the open and up front, because trying to hide it from me was humiliating everyone involved. And he saw the logic in that.

    But why would he want to hurt me? Because he was incredibly selfish and immature. Why would he cheat on me so blatantly? Because it was less work than trying to hide it. How could any human being on earth behave this way toward another human being? Well his main reason, he told me, for sleeping around on me was that he wasn't getting enough sex from me. And most important of all, why did I put up with it? Well, that's complicated. I guess I was partially used to it, and also so depressed I no longer cared.

    Well, here's a few words of wisdom from someone who lived with a cheater for many years. If you are thinking of cheating on your wife or girlfriend because you think you aren't getting enough sex, then cheating on your wife or girlfriend is not going to make her want to put out more.

    I later learned how extreme an example my ex was after I broke up with him. Being completely unincumbered by a 'relationship,' he went totally Japanese pussy-crazy. He began seeing several women at once, sometimes three different women in one day..one for breakfast, one for lunch, and one for dinner, drinks, and karaoke. It was almost frightening for me to see how bad he bad become, someone who didn't resemble in the slightest the person he was when we first met.

    There's really no point to all this as I just wanted to share my story, but at least I got away from my cheating ex and met my wonderful boyfriend, Krof, (Hello, Sweetie!) whom I love with all my heart. My ex made me feel like I was the least desirable woman in the world, and Krof tells me and shows me everyday how sexy he thinks I am. And I'm certainly no longer depressed. I'm jubilant!