Cheating: is it black and white?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by HotForHoney, Aug 10, 2015.

  1. HotForHoney

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    Met a guy who wants to meet. Still lives w his wife and kids.
    Wife has a bf, they sleep in separate rooms. Neither is happy, no talking about it.
    He says he's moving out next summer when youngest grads high school.

    I always though if you weren't happy, man up and leave.
    I don't want to be the other woman. Who knows if he will actually leave.

    Cheating? Yes/no?
     
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  2. doggiestylegirluk

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  3. doggiestylegirluk

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    image.jpg
     
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  4. 12barblues

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    I would stay away... To many complications.. And kids are involved too. My 2 cents
     
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  5. MariaMaria

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    I don't believe it's black and white. He was honest about his situation and it sounds like he and his wife have an agreement. I don't think it's cheating.
    The question is what are you looking for? It sounds like you're apprehensive about his situation. I would be too.
     
  6. xtacy4

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    One other thing to consider, you only know his truth, which may be skewed. As far as whether he is cheating, she is still his wife. Seems to me like it is unless she can tell you, "yep, he's all yours!"
     
  7. whybother

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    "cheating" is any secret that you keep from a partner. I don't tell my wife about being here, so this is cheating. Your concern seems to be whether or not you have long term prospects with a guy like this. Ie. you say:

    If that is a concern I advise you to run fast in the other direction. If you just want to have fun, then whether or not he is cheating, its not your responsibility.
     
  8. MissScarlett

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    I don't believe it's black & white & if it is true the wife has a boyfriend & they sleep in different rooms that does make a difference as they seem to be open about their "cheating". However it sounds very complicated. In my experience complicated only ever ends in heartbreak - & unfortunately probably yours. In my opinion you deserve better
     
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  9. David4020

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    Cheating. He says she says. Anyone can play that game. Actions speak louder than words.
     
  10. Wizard1002

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    Unless you firmly believe every word he says and you desparately want them all to be true, I advise you walk away and look for someone less complicated - easier said than done, I know, but I can see this being v messy for you. Is that what you want??
     
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  11. HotForHoney

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    No :)
     
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  12. Alwayslearningsex

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    If the 2 partners are fine with it, no problem but not knowing all the facts I am on the fence.
    However for me the problem is they have kids.
     
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  13. Amature

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    I'm afraid it would be cheating. Most guys will say anything to get a pretty girl in bed. She may be sitting at home thinking she has a great husband and a good marriage.
     
  14. lucky5338

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    It is probably cheating but I would be the last person in the world to pass judgement on anyone else. there bur for the grace of GOD go I. :)
     
  15. Doitagain

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    Well you have to consider what information you AREN'T getting or how much of what you are getting is false.
    However if what he told you is true I5 may not be cheating.
    Man up and leave is not really a good response. If she has a bf and they sleep in separate rooms it may be a mutual and adult way of dealing with a bad marriage while trying not to make it bitter and worse on the kids.
    I have see my parents divorce a few times...it's not pretty at any age.
    If this is how they deal with it and they both agree with it than that's just how it is. Better then knock down drag out fights in front of the kids or residual effects.
    However as for dating him.....well that " I'm waiting for the right time to leave " line has burned many a person. So really. ...it comes down to how.much you trust what he says and are willing to risk.
    He very well may be cheating and his Ashley Madison account was hacked so this is his new route. ..
    ...or they mutually agreed they are not happy and agreed to go separate ways with partners until they tie up loose ends and such divorce Ina civil manner.
     
  16. Northside

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    Pretty gray area in my opinion, but my opinion doesn't matter. No one else's does either it's how you feel about it. It sounds like it could get complicated and even messy. The kids living there and make it hard. If she has a boyfriend it's probably over for them. Do you want to date a man who lives with his soon to be ex wife and their kids? I wouldn't date a woman in a similar situation, but the choice is yours. I think you can do better.
     
  17. Sagittarius84

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    I say take Ronald Reagan's advice in reverse: "Verify, then trust." Given paternity and divorce laws, his situation doesn't sound all that outlandish. "Manning up and leaving" is great example of spousal abandonment that her divorce lawyer will pounce upon. Before you do anything get some concrete proof of his situation, if his wife truly sleeps in a different room and has a bf of his own, he's in an ideal position as an unhappily married man and can play with no fear of reprisal. A guy with that opportunity should be jumping at the bit to show and prove it to any future sexual partner.
     
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  18. eastrock14

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    Maybe this is over simplistic, but could you not ask his wife?
     
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  19. Candela

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    Ill look at it this way!...He just wants to fuck you!!..In my opinion,Find someone with a lot less bagage,As for the cheating part,I guess he says he and his wife agree..So he has a free ticket to find someone to fuck and he picked you....Stay Away!!:confused:
     
  20. 12barblues

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    I love this... If he is being truthful...he would have no problem letting his wife talk to you..
     
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