Casual Sex

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Ilovewomen411, Nov 28, 2010.

  1. Ilovewomen411

    Ilovewomen411 New Member

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    As a college male, i find myself thinking about the relationship between casual sex and love. im worried that casual sex is distorting my view of women, and in turn, true love. What is the solution? is it specific to me or can society set a list of social rules, or morals to guide us through this sticky mess. One one end of the spectrum you have many people (who probably lived through the sexual revolution?) who believe that sex is a way of expression, and that you shouldnt restrict yourself to loving just one person, while at the other end of the spectrum there are the religious fanatics (forgive the harsh term) who believe that sex should only happen after marriage. Should we pick sides, or can we find a happy medium? I guess I view sexual utopia as having casual sex, with both parties understanding that it is casual sex and nothing more, but then also a more meaningful sex which is undisturbed by the rampant sexcapades we might’ve previously experienced. More importantly, is a sexual utopia (whatever it may be) reachable? And if so, how will we get there? Better communication? Better contraceptives? Better sexual education? Will we ever come to an agreement regarding a general relationship between sex and love, or is it specific for each of us?
     
  2. johndeeregirl

    johndeeregirl New Member

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    it's specific to each of us ;)

    p.s. welcome :D you should go post an intro and tell us more about yourself ;)
     
  3. Demons_Serenade

    Demons_Serenade New Member

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    As a college guy myself, the two are different. Casual sex could be a one night stand, or some fuck buddy. Casual sex is just that, sex between two people. Maybe there is a friendship (i.e. fuck buddy) but there is no romance. Love is completely different. Emotions are involved and all that fun stuff. Love is an investment, casual sex is something most can live with or without (since there is little emotional investment). there isn't anything wrong with casual sex (so long a protection is used). dont get me started on religious stuff lol! its fine and natural to wanna get laid lol! dont get caught up in societal views on sexually active women (like the label slut for example) b/c guys who do it are hero's. Double standards annoy me. I for one want a relationship, but at the moment i have a fuck buddy. its fun for now. if something more serious pops up then the fuck buddy thing goes out the window. in my opinion, a relationship is of priority. casual sex is fun. enjoy it and don't think so much. hope this helped
     
    #3 Demons_Serenade, Nov 28, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2010
  4. Ilovewomen411

    Ilovewomen411 New Member

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    I wholeheartedly agree. especially about the double standards. Girls are sluts, guys are pimps? totally lame. And i know what you mean about them being separate, but what if, after having an abundance of casual sex, you eventually lose the longing for love? I want to find someone who i will care for and love but when i go out at night i find that im really just looking a good lay. I guess what i mean is that my standards are different for each category. Casual Sex: pretty face, and a hot body, Love: smart, spontaneous, wild, yet controlled, caring, responsible, beauty isnt a must but a plus, capable of dealing with my obsession with star wars, etc. When im out at a bar its easy to find girls that have good marks in the casual sex categories, and that combined with drinking and the inability to think with my brain, makes me take her home before the love categories have a chance to be satisfied. I guess what i mean is that im worried my casual sex is getting in the way of finding someone i love. So really, if im looking for someone to love, should i stop having casual sex until i find them?
     
  5. Texas_Red

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    It sounds to me like you already know the difference between casual sex and love, and know exactly what you want. The only way that the casual sex is going to get in the way of love for you is if it takes up all your free time, thus keeping you from finding people to get to know better and perhaps love. If all you're doing when you go out is casual sex, then perhaps you should slow down on it a bit and actively try to look for someone to get to know better instead.

    In the end you have to be able to really decide what it is you want, and then focus on that.
     
  6. cbrmale

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    I had a lot of casual sex when I was young, in fact too many partners to count, let alone remember their names. Sometimes it was good, sometimes average, sometimes awful. I didn't contemplate love and sex at the time, but later when I found true love, I immediately realised the difference between sex with someone you love and sex with someone who's just for one night. Sex with someone you love is very, very special.

    So my experience, having been very much in this space, is that when it happens you will know it. And when you look back on your casual sex days, you won't regret them either.