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Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Notta, Apr 1, 2016.
I am not a woman who can just have casual sex, is there something wrong with me?
Should read CANNOT... Sorry
You are not interested in casual sex?
I don't have and am not interested in casual sex. I wasn't something more intimate and meaningful.
I've never been one to have casual sex. I prefer know the partner and have a sort of trust built up. I see nothing wrong with it if it is what makes you happy but for me, no, never have and don't ever see that changing for me. Plus I'm happily married and I know him pretty darn well.
I'm maybe the only guy in his mid-20's who doesn't go for casual sexual relationships. Like CLE above - I'm not looking down on those who do partake, but it's not my style. I have to at least kind of know someone and definitely have to trust and like someone before I'll jump into bed (or wherever). There are just too many potential risks and complications (STI's, unwanted pregnancies, &c) for me to pursue the frequent/casual route.
Done it when I was younger but never really liked it because I always felt some sadness and remorse afterwards; kind of I got intimate with her and now she is already gone before we even got to know one another.
A little premature death if you understand but then sex for me has always been about sharing and never just a self gratification pursuit.
Therefore @Notta, whether male or female you are nottalone
I remember the remorse of casual sex, oh, no I don't. Sorry, I was just getting out of HS in the mid 70's and casual sex was rampant. There weren't any killer diseases transmitted back then, I guess it was the incubator for all that out there now. I was very picky and I would always get at least one a week from either Wednesday night which was the easiest since I was young and all the divorced women were out on Wednesday. Like they were having a convention or something. Then the discos were packed Friday and Saturday. I just found it so exciting to have sex with different women. I didn't think I would ever get married, I was 19. By the time I was 23 I was sick of all the bar hopping and one night stands. Then all I wanted was true love. I'd have to say it made that difficult since you had sex with so many girls many of the so called good girls were afraid of you. One of my friends sister use to warn girls I would start dating, I wanted to ring her neck. I'd been dating this nice girl who had moved with her family and changed colleges. We're at a party after we had been out about 3 times and I had never tried to take it past second base. I'm out of the room for a while and when I come back she's looking at me all funny and sad. When we left she told me what the brat had said, it was true but WTF. She told her I was a player and she was the flavor of the month. Apparently she had told several that, she thought the baskin Robbins ice cream reference was funny. But I won in the end, I married a friend of hers.
I knew, well, had contact with, numerous women that loved casual sex. But that was back in 1978 to 1983....when the most you could catch could be cured by a shot or shampoo. I wouldn't recommend it these days. Met my wife in 83 by the way, one person since then.
I can't do casual sex either. I prefer emotional connection.
Yep right there with you Mitt and I am a guy!
There does have to be something else there besides mindless sex. To have that type of link increases every bit of the experience.
Those were the days, I married in 82 and was glad I got out when I did. I had several friends that didn't, lots of hep c and herpesvirus and one actually got HIV. Out of around 80-100 different women and I got the clap once. I was very lucky.
I think most people, and even more so with women, can't have or don't want casual sex. So there's nothing wrong with you. I like casual sex sometimes but I think I'm in the minority. But I'm also mostly relationship-averse so that may help. lol
I can't lie, I sort of miss casual sex, the few times I got to experience it. I know most women, and quite a few men crave an emotional bond, which can enhance the sexual experience. But there's something about the pure carnal attraction that results in casual sex that appeals to me. Even now with my gf of almost 7yrs, anytime we have sex, i can't help but wonder the motivations behind it. Is this a maintenance thing? Is it a matter of she feels she has to do it, or some other woman will get to me? What's sad is when i read accounts from other women as to what they find sexy about their SOs, it sort of confirms my fears because it always seems to devolve into some merit based affair. He's such a good father, a good provider, his personality makes me feel so loved and appreciated, etc...for a lot of guys this seems to be sufficient, but it always sounds to me like sex is some consolation prize, not because my physicality drives you wild, but because my demeanor and actions have earned a couple of prize tickets to the vagina show. I guess the female equivalent to understanding this would be if you got new lingerie to spice up things with your partner, and he were to say, "oh you're such a good mother and organizor, bring that sexy ass over here." The few times I've engaged in casual sex were probably the only times i felt girls were truly physically attracted to me, and not necessarily what i could offer or provide, or what role I could play in their lives.
You always know what is best for yourself.
Personally, there are times when I have had a lot of casual sex and other times when I wasn't interested for various reason.
You are also allowed to change your mind.
I guess you need to define casual sex. When you say that, I think lame sex. But what I think you mean is sex with someone you're not dating. If the latter is the case, I think that may be all I do. I tend to keep the same two or three sexual partners for a long time though
Casual sex is a one night stand, and I used to enjoy the adrenaline rush of a new partner and the challenges of satisfying her. Just because it's a casual once-off doesn't mean it can't be close and intimate, as long as you recognise it probably won't happen again. I did have some casual sex events turn into friends with benefits over the longer term.
I think the majority of men and women can't meet, fuck and then leave next day.
You got that bit right at least for me!