can't masturbate the "usual" way

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by pumpkin_os, Feb 18, 2007.

  1. pumpkin_os

    pumpkin_os New Member

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    Hello!
    I'm a 21-year-old girl with a problem. I started masturbating very early, maybe as early as 6 or 7 years old. I never touched my clitoris directly with my hand or anything else. I always just squeezed my thighs rhythmically and could orgasm with no problem.
    But the problem is, now that I'm older, that I don't feel anything when I touch my clitoris with my hand. I still can orgasm by squeezing my thighs, but I would like to be able to do it the other way, by touching my clit. When I touch it directly, I do feel something, but it's not even sexual, although it's different than when I touch my leg, or my forehead, etc. When I try not touching it directly, but from the side or through something, I don't feel anything.
    Has anyone had a problem like this?
     
  2. katy

    katy New Member

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    Sweetie, orgasm has a lot to do with the mind. It isn't at all only physical this thing.

    So we can't expect the clit is like a magic button which we can touch and feel a big orgasm or a lot of pleasure out of it suddenly.

    The mind plays a big role in all of this too. If you feel scared, worried, stressed or you don't feel like masturbating or things like that, then it surely will feel a lot less pleasurable for you.

    Same thing when we fixate a lot on trying to get an orgasm or trying to have pleasure. It is a lot more probable you won't get that orgasm or pleasure that you were wishing to have when we're in that sate of mind.

    So I would first make sure what is describe above is not an issue first. Also, when we try a new thing that we haven't try before, it sometimes take a while to get accustomed to it and feel pleasure from it. It's normal.

    And you know, you can also go see you gyn to make sure nothing is abnormal down there. I'm guessing this is not the case here but it doens't work to go. And you can discuss this issue with him/her too at the same time.

    And remember, if something doesn't feel good, then there is no point in sticking with it. Not everyone will like to masturbte the same way. Some might prefer squeezing thing, others direct clit play. And there is no technique better than others and it is completly normal in both cases.

    So why not stick with what feels good for you right now ?
     
  3. irresister

    irresister New Member

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    I agree with some of what Katy has said. Women in our society are not encouraged to feel sexually, in fact they are DIScouraged at every turn. It may look better than it used to be but the social effects are still enormous. The 60's and the so called sexual revolution did little to impact this becasue suddenly overnight we were suppose to give it up to every guy who came a long or be called uptight.

    Think of it in these terms. Would you feel a finger tip touching your eyeball? Well, of course you would? Your clitoris has way more pressure sensative nerve endings than your eyebll does, so feeling your finger tip should not be a problem. Try a lubricant, extensive rubbing can cause irritation from the friction. Also stroke lighter and slower than you have been, and just lay back and feel. When something feels good, do more of that. When the sensation declines try something else. Don't worry so much about the climax, just whatever pleasure you get from it.

    Have fun. Bad sex is better than no sex at all!
     
  4. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    My suggestion is practice and experimentation. Perhaps also investing in a bullet vibrator, which you can use on your own. I own one with four different settings, and recommend one with various settings, so that you can experiment in many ways. I think, in my opinion, that you are exploring two very different feelings sexually. The feeling of pleasure from manipulation of the vaginal muscles can lead to quite an orgasm, as well as amazing muscles that any man should appreciate. A clitoral orgasm is very different, and typically something women must learn to have........ Let me know what you think if you try the bullet vibe. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
     
  5. katy

    katy New Member

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    Is a bullet vibrator something that goes IN the vagina or only on the outside ? Cause i took a look at it and it seems quite big.
     
  6. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Oh, they are not large in general. And you can choose a size. It really can go in or on...... but my reference to you was to use it for direct clitoral stimulation, in order to explore and find your delicious spots in order to achieve clitoral sensitivity and, ultimately, great clitoral orgasms.