Can't Let It Alone; Gnawing The Bone

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 10_3XL, Aug 14, 2014.

  1. 10_3XL

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    First (A Disclaimer):
    I know I don't always "play well with others" on here. (I get upset and speak harshly, too, from time to time.)
    I know that I can be off-putting due to the person I am. (Irreverence, irrelevance, &c)
    I know I tend to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. (Tact has never been my strong suit.)
    I know I can be juvenile. (Hell, I'm 25 what can you expect of a guy?!)
    I know I am easily written off due to the above factors. (It can be hard to hear the "Truth" from a "Fool.")

    Now:
    Acknowledging full well that I would probably do best to not mention this - with what I've been seeing on here; how I feel about the situation; and how many that I speak to publicly and/or privately feel, I wanted to again express myself.
    I made this post to the
    Venting Thread! on July 17th. The sentiment that lies in it is something to which I think all sides of these ultimately fickle little disagreements can relate. I won't go into much further (on that topic) here, as it's been said in the linked post.

    My Real Inquiries:
    What happened to the community that was so appealing that I tenaciously hung about and fought my way in after being such a royal fuck-up when I initially signed on? I deserved the welcome I got, and I think I've earned what little credibility and respect that I now have. Why is it that we don't seem able to display any of that respect or acknowledge credibility any longer? How can we see some of our favorite members leave, go silent, and/or be persecuted and do absolutely nothing?!

    Those questions, and these, go to both seasoned and new members:
    To those of us who've been around a bit: Why can't we lend the benefit of the doubt and do our best to behave (or not "play" at all)?
    To those who have just joined recently: Did/do you honestly expect to jump in here (or any other established community) and have 100% approval, credibility, and respect when you have done nothing to earn it or allowed anyone to get to know you?

    Thank you all for your time. All thoughts appreciated and accepted.*

    ~10_3XL
    Your Friendly Neighborhood (Occasionally) Sagacious Buffoon
    *Author's Request: Please try to avoid "flames," "trolling," and off-topic discussion in this thread - for my sake if nothing else. :)
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Suggestion to all; don't take anything too seriously, life is too short to waste it on negativity!
    If all else fails; eat chocolate and drink beer ;)
     
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  3. 10_3XL

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    Not 100% on topic, but I'll allow it because I love the sentiment. :D
     
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  4. Joys

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    bow.gif
     
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  5. Doitagain

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    I tend to agree. However I do like the variety. Even those that tend to just sin on once in a while and just prod the bull and don't add much or like the guy hat starts a thread right away " look at my big cock! "...lol even when it's not big. Even members that seem to never mention anything about sex at all even though this is sexual forums. We are all human so no matter the subject negativity will happen but their is no reason for constantly posting negative things. If things arnt great for you or you are in a bad mood don't sin on or better yet come here to change your mood with some naked pics , hot stories , sexy chat , erotic threads and posts or informative discussions or just plain funny fantasy such as the hideaway bar and grill. Just saying. Take it easy , take a deep breath , show me your naked parts , and lest get back to sexual forums. ....or I'll freaking Tea bag all of you ;-)
     
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  6. Married M Nh

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    Here's to hoping that everybody that comes here to s f gets a chance to read this thread. It's a well thought out thread and has a lot to say that is true. We have lost way to many long standing members to all this bickering. I've on been here for 4 months and have seen many great members leave and will miss their humor and knowledge.
    Thank you 10_3XL for writing what a lot of us have been thinking
     
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  7. BigB73

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    I come here for flirting and to read hot stories about sex, and hopefully see some naked women. :) if someone is posting sad boring stuff, or a topic that I'm not interested in then I just don't fucking read it, that's not why I'm here. I want to get away from boring stuff and just have fun. And on that note, I'm taking my pants off. :)
     
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  8. Cappy_Dick

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    Many long time users have left and more may still leave, as the entire face of SF has changed in the last several months. SF, for most of it's existence was an adult discussion group and social gathering place. Yes, there was a section where those who wanted to post/view adult images could do so, but that wasn't why most people were here.

    There used to be general rules here and user/mods that had the authority to remind people of them.
    Most were just basic netiquette. Netiquette seems to be a dying courtesy, now that nearly everyone with a phone is online now. People think that it's ok to treat others like crap with the anonymity of the net. People think it's ok to use a forum like this for their own commercial gain. New people think that because there are no rules posted or user/mods to enforce them, that veteran users who try to help someone learn the ropes of the community, are being negative and trouble makers, when all they were doing was trying to be helpful.

    I have watched this place evolve from largely a social community, like it was when I joined four years ago, to over the last few months, where it has largely become a pic/vid post and pick up page. This isn't what most people were here for and why many have either left or stopped posting. Even the off topic section, which used to host many an interesting debate, has largely become nothing more than threads of adult tweets. Even the user names of many of the newest members reflect the total change in demographics of this site.

    At one point, I was encouraged by many, to rally for a return to the traditions of SF that were being quickly lost. A few certain members decided it was their agenda to defame and slander me for taking this stand and the support of many suddenly dissipated to only a couple. Many of those who chose to attempt to destroy the reputation and character I had earned over many years, continued to do so, even after I had refrained from posting for several days. One was so derogatory that they caused an entire thread to be deleted and earned them a permanent ban.

    As I return to posting today, I return to watching to see what happens to SF. I only know what was, what is and what could be. What SF WILL BE, is largely what the community decides to make of it. This once called "wise and knowledgeable" old man failed to rally the traditions of SF to rise again. But, sometimes it takes a fool to make people see what the wise man could not.

    And... before anyone takes that last statement as a slam, or attack on 3xl, it's not. Wally knows what I mean by that and actually "sometimes it takes a fool to make people see what the wise man could not" were spoken to me by him and not actually my words. Maybe he's right. His responses so far have been largely positive and I largely agree with him.

    xx
     
    #8 Cappy_Dick, Aug 14, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2014
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  9. 12barblues

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    It's simple, yet sad to many of us... The forum changed when the format changed. We now attract a different kind of member. And we are now more of a sex/ porn site than we ever were in the past. I always felt this place should have been named " adult forums" rather than sexual forums... Although , now... That name fits.
    We are now more active than ever.. Lots of posting going on.. Much of it being done by members who simply wanna show their cocks , tits and pussys
    to everyone , and get responses back and have " sex chats" & so on.. Nothing wrong with that at all... It's just never been the focus here at SF. I joined because I liked the personalities here. And the great diversity that we had. I love the intelligent yet perverted discussions... You can count the "talking dirty via PM " for me on one hand .. Never been my thing.
    I have to admit, I was one that bitched the most about this place being dead. Even started a thread about called "ghost town".. Where I would document times when we would have 6 hour dead spots w zero post of any kind, or complaining that on the entire planet I was the only one logged on to SF...
    So I guess I'm saying a lot of nothing here... But while missing the "old days" , I don't miss the dead days... Due to the fact there were only about 15 active members... Lol.. I have no answers.... I'm just commenting on the situation.
    Of course moderators would put everything back in check. Mitt could do it singlehandedly most likely. ( Because she has ) But it doesn't seem like they're coming back....so it's moot.
     
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  10. 12barblues

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    Dammit Cap... If you woulda posted that 5 mins sooner it woulda saved me lotsa typin'..
     
  11. Cappy_Dick

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    Hey 12bb,

    It takes more than one or two of us to say these things for anyone to understand why the long time users have mixed feelings about SF since the software changes. I'm glad you posted it. I also agree with your kudos to Mitt. She was not only the best user/mod SF has ever had(at least since I had joined), but one of the best of any board I have participated in since the early 90's. I remember that thread you speak of. I guess sometimes what you wish for doesn't end up being what you really wanted when you get it.

    xx
     
    #11 Cappy_Dick, Aug 14, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2014
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  12. Doitagain

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    Okay first off curiosity. ....who got the permanent ban for slandering you?

    Second , now you make me feel bad for all the pics I post in a few threads.

    Third , I do understand what you are saying Cappy_Dick , I haven't been around as long even with my other name before I took a leave of absence and reset. And yes even the names have changed reflecting the change here but I find most of those people post, try to hook up ,And disappear. Now I add my two cents on many threads in all seriousness and yes I do add some humor or just non sense to lighten the mood and even just amuse myself because, well , that is how I am off this site. I post pics in a few threads a lot because this is a sexual site and the pics are discussion in themselves and I enjoy them and so do other good members that have a lot to say in other threads. I think maybe I do more of the pics and fantasies and such is partly due to the lack of new topics and arguments for no damn reason. You can discuss all you want but when it comes down to opinions what are you arguing for? It's an OPINION .
    I don't know how to fix it but I will ride it out. I am who I am I like what I like. I love the discussion and I love the pics too. I am not here to " hook up " but I am not against dirty talk and chat either. I hope I don't drive anybody away or detour them with any of my posted content.
    It's all a nice balance that's needed I feel. Like a nice black and tan beer....With the Guiness floating atop the Bass ale or Harp....now I want a beer
     
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  13. 12barblues

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    My fav mitt moment was awhile back..., someone was making an ass of themselves in a thread I was following.. The guy was just pushing more and more. I don't remember mitt even being involved on the thread... The guy said one thing over the line.. And all I posted was the words " wait for it..., wait for it.., "lol... the next post was mitt popping up and handling it... That's just how she was.. Always in the right place at the right time with the right decision .... She , and the other mods...kept this place running smooth..
     
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  14. Doitagain

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    Oh , after all I said in my above post I found this site honestly looking for answers to genuine sex related questions and I liked what I saw so I signed up and I only left for a reset for several personal reasons and reset...it really was sort of stupid I could have just takin a break but it is what it is. I feel I do egg on some of the non discussion things but I hope in general I am liked and looked at as I add to discussion s in a positive way most of the time.
     
  15. 12barblues

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    Doitagain , far as i can tell, youve done it right.... and i wouldn't feel bad about posting pics.. In the past, we have preferred that members introduce them selves and establish a bit of a relationship before they whip their business out...the analogy was always " you don't move into a new neighborhood and introduce yourself to your new neighbors with your cock hanging out" now after getting to know them, and finding out that they are just as perverted as you? ... Then anything goes right? Just let me get to know you before you show me your wife's pussy ok? Lol.
    But this way of thinking has become "old school" ..
     
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  16. Cappy_Dick

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    DIaG,

    I am not going to re-open that can of worms. The former user was largely rude and derogatory for most of their tenure here and the events I briefly mentioned were the result of more than attacks on myself and this had happened while I was refraining from posting, even in my own defense. End of...

    I never have had any problems with pic/vid posts. They had to be posted in the section for that though. People could post to their heart's content and it wasn't done on the other sub forums. I never had a problem with people looking to find playmates here. The meeting place sub forum had been made for that purpose. Anyone who has any basic netiquette skills knows how they should interact with others and to not use a site such as this for commercial purposes... be it spam, or thinly veiled as fun.

    The diversity and different opinions had always made SF a great place to discuss and debate. many sides of a topic could be seen and people could agree to disagree at the end of the day. Now I see more and more that when someone disagrees, another will take that basic disagreement, label it as a personal attack, then turn around and actually attack the other person, leading to a flame war. Yes, flame wars do happen on any forum, but decent folk are usually big enough to either put an agree to disagree end to it, take it to pm, or be the bigger person and stop responding to the person exhibiting the bully-ish behavior. That's just basic netiquette.

    There could be endless discussions on what/who is right/wrong with SF. Opinions will greatly vary on this as well. One thing does stand clear though... Many of the issues at SF are caused by a lack of netiquette and could be largely solved by the better use of netiquette.

    I can only watch. I know what has been, I know what could be, but I do not know what will be. That's largely up to everyone else here. I am only the watcher...

    xx
     
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  17. backcheck64

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    Everything changes over time, not always for the better, but things will change. People come and go... just a fact of life.
     
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  18. 12barblues

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    Seems like the writing's on the wall for many of us dinosaurs ... We will either adapt and evolve or go extinct..lol
     
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  19. AGFUNK

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    This is perfect for the situation.
     
  20. lbushwalker

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    'Stralia Mate!
    This thread has become the meeting place for us ruminating old farts and I like it dammit!
    All those I respect and "follow" have seen fit to comment with essentially likewise sentiments.
    We lament the good old days but they are gone so we must adapt too or go the way of lemmings.
    Peace bros :)