Cant have orgasm

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by sally12344, Sep 26, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. sally12344

    sally12344 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I am 20 years old I have been having sex with my boyfriend for about a year now we are so inlove and we are going to get married some day. I can't have an orgasm, no matter what we do or what positions we are in it doesnt happen. I love him so much i am perfectly comfortable with him and I get so excited when we are together I get extremly wet so its not like im not excited to be with him. I love having sex with him becuase we are so close and i like making him feel good but the sex feels ok to me. I cant say it feels good becuase I dont really get any crazy sensations or anything when we make love. He knows i cant have an orgasm and he tries things with me, we even got this vibrating ring but it didnt work. Im trying not to sike myself out i try not to think about it during sex and try to have fun so its not like im constanlty thinking it wont happen it wont happen so thats why its not. i just know how amazing people say sex is and my boyfriend loves having sex with me and i just want to be able to experience it with him. I feel like its never going to happen and one day im just going to be like what is the point anymore. I dont really masterbate but siometimes if i rub myself a little i get some sort of sensation but i could keep going forever and it doesnt really build up to anything. I dont know what to do.
     
  2. -G-

    -G- New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    0
    first of all welcome to the sexual forums sally. Also you are not alone. there are many women out there who don't have an orgasn as easy as they would like so take a deap breath and relax. There area few women on these forums that are going to jump at the chance to help you out I am sure but I can offer a male perspective until they do.

    I have noticed that out of all the women I have been with, the ones that orgasmed the easiest were the ones who were open and comfortable with the idea of masterbation. I noticed that these women knew there body and knew what they liked so they could easily express their desirs and turnons to thier lover. Maybe you should take some time and get to know yourself so you can let him know you better.
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    [BANANA]'-G-' - You were SO a woman, in another life!!![/BANANA]

    It's true! I came from 'old school' - and hid my sexuality. Not only from others, but from myself. I had sex for probably 4 years, before having my first orgasm. When it happened, I didn't know what it was. My boyfriend at the time had to tell me what had just happened.:ugh

    Even after that, I didn't know that certain stimulation of my clit caused the orgasm. it wasn't until I began masturbating that I began to know what parts of my body needed attention in order to repeat that awesome feeling. --- then I had to learn how to communicate that to my partner. Not an easy task when one is a bit shy...

    I would suggest masturbating - and do it alone. You need total freedom to explore your body and your feelings. Later, you could purchase a little vibrator to increase your experience.

    When you are having sex, focus on your feelings. Don't worry about your boyfriend - trust me, he's enjoying himself! Just concentrate on your body - the movements, the sensuality, ... set yourself free to feel every part of your sexual encounter.
     
  4. Lusty Dreams

    Lusty Dreams New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Virginia
    Sally,

    I can understand your frustrations. I have been w/ my hubby for 4 years, and he has never gave me an orgasm. I can do it to myself w/ masterbation, but I can't do it in front of him. And for me, it requires a toy.
    And it is not a vibrator. Those do nothing for me.

    Hang in there. It will happen for you I hope, everyone tells me that as well.
    It also has a lot to do w/ your relationship, are you happy, do you have any resentment issues or anything? I have issues w/ my hubby, and I know that has something to do with our sex problem. Trust is one of them.
    And he hasn't ever really tried to get me off, when is done, we are both done :( I guess I have gotten used to it, even though it is VERY unfair to me.

    I know its hard. You are only 20 though, so hopefully you will have your shot. Don't worry about being in such a serious relationship at your age....you need to be out there having fun :)
     
  5. Brad

    Brad New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2005
    Messages:
    342
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
    Hi Sally

    Firstly, I give 10 out of 10 to advice given so far, as I so much agree with what has been said.

    Masturbation has been mentioned several times, and rightly so, because I think you will find a solution most easily by developing your enjoyment of this delightfully wonderful activity.

    Sally, when I first dated my wife of 15 years, she was your age. She had never masturbated (which I shocked to hear), and had never experienced an orgasm. She was really shy indeed.

    My first challenge was to get her to find out alone for herself just how fantastic masturbation is.

    She soon discovered what she had been missing out on.

    Once she discovered the delights of self pleasure, the hurdle was history, as she was able to show me how to bring her to orgasm.

    She now orgasms more quickly than I do.

    I think the key here is to move the focuss away from orgasm through intercourse. Once you have learnt the triggers that send you over that wonderful edge, you will feel much better and confident to let yourself go during intercourse.

    Discovering those triggers in a solo environment is much easier because you can concentrate totally 100% on you. Take your time doing it, relax, and enjoy it. A little practice and you will arrive quicker than you might realise!

    And even then it might later be that you still cum most easily through other ways than direct intercourse thrusting. A lot of women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm.

    But that doesn't mean that anything is wrong or abnormal.
    All of us respond differently which is what makes us so exciting.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes!
     
  6. oldkinky

    oldkinky Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2006
    Messages:
    341
    Likes Received:
    67
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southern US
    Try a Trojan Vibrating Ring. Works for us.
     
  7. witchblade

    witchblade New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2006
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Florida
    have you tried to masterbate while having sex???? just to get some idea of what he should be touching to get you off?? maybe you just need to help him out some...
     
  8. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    I second Witchblade's suggestion. I have the most intense orgasms if I stimulate my clit while my boyfriend fucks me. It really gets him going too, because nothing turns my boyfriend on more than seeing me masturbate.
     
  9. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2006
    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    I didn't see any mention of oral on you, does he do that to you? It's the easiest and most consistent way to achieve female orgasm IMO :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.