can't get it up......Its becoming a problem now.......

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by willieb4257, Nov 3, 2006.

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  1. willieb4257

    willieb4257 New Member

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    I've posted on this before, but it seems like I still cant get it up.....

    When we mess around, or during foreplay, i get really hard erections, but when it comes to sex im a limp.

    Four times we tried having sex, and when im hard, i put on a condom, and im about to enter her, i got freaking limp....?????????
    Im not nervous, i try to relax, not to think bout it, i even took those stamina rx pills for enhance sexual drive/performance, and still......
    God damn, wtf is wrong with me guys????????
    Anyone experienced that??????
    Im loosing hope
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    I don't know what stamina rx pills you took, but most are a rip off. It's time to talk to your doctor and ask for some Viagra, Cialis or Levitra. Take a pill a couple hours before you anticipate sexual contact. I swear, those things would make a worm stiff.

    I'd suggest you get the most potent of whichever pill (each offers 2 or 3 different potencies), take a complete one the first time, and if it works only take a half pill the next time. If that works, take a quarter pill. If that works, try it without any.

    "i try to relax, not to think bout it" But you see, your failures are in the back of your mind. It sure sounds to me like you're afraid it'll happen again (naturally) so it does. It's time for some help from the little blue pill.
     
  3. willieb4257

    willieb4257 New Member

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    i know im affraid it'll happen again, who wouldnt be... im too young for viagra i think, plus its too expensive...shit.....this is ot fun at all..and especially with a naked,horny hot check next to me...
     
  4. Joe

    Joe
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    Do you have health insurance? If so, it'll help pay for the Viagra, and even if not, you owe it to yourself to see a doctor. I've gotten several free samples from my doctor -- Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. Even if you can't get it for free or paid by insurance, what I've suggested is TWO pills. That'll set you back $20 to $25.

    And Viagra isn't just for old farts like me. In fact, it's dispensed pretty carefully because it's becoming a "recreational drug" for young studs who don't really need it.

    Incidentally, both Cialis and Levitra offer free samples with your first prescription. Visit their websites for more information and for other tips to correct erectile disfunction.

    If you decide to buy online (which I don't recommend) be careful of getting fake Viagra. Apparently there's a lot of that out there.
     
  5. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    So far, I haven't needed Viagra, etc, however, I have heard that drugs like that are very effective as our friend Joe has said. Even so, I just have to suspect that you may have some sort of deep seated psychological reaction to actually having sex with a woman - and I say that in a kind way and do not mean to imply anything weird or negative. What I am getting at is that - just speaking theory here, just speculating as a "for example" - some people may psychologically "tighten up", when about to have actual sex with someone due to deep seated psychological things such as feeling "performance anxiety", feeling that having sex, such as outside of marriage, is wrong or so on and so forth. In your case, you are having erections before having sex, so that tells me that your "equipment" is working properly. I'm thinking that, as previously mentioned, you may well have some sort of deep seated problem with carrying through and my guess would be that you either have a deep seated message in your brain that somehow this is wrong (such as doing it outside of marriage - not making a value judgment here, just discussing) or that you deep down fear that you won't perform well or that you fear making the woman pregnant or what have you. One thing that I have heard of happening, for example, particularly with women, is that some people have received the very strong message "DON'T HAVE SEX" many times over the years and, then, when they reach a point in life when it is OK to have sex, it is hard for them to do it because that message is still playing in their heads. And these things can be very "deep seated' in people's brains, in their psychological make up and can be very POWERFUL. We know a great deal about the human brain and mind, however, there is a great deal that we do NOT know. We all also have a LOT of various psychological messages, fears, etc. "floating around' in our brains and these all affect us each and every day, each and every minute. Anyway, don't lose hope! Never lose hope! If you can get to a physican, go talk with the physican and you may also need to find a good counselor and talk with them. Some people have found hypnotherapy to be helpful in situations like this. If you can't or don't want to go the physician and counseling, etc. route, you may need to spend some extended time with your lady just bringing each other to orgasms frequenly (hand jobs, etc.), perhaps move to doing "69" or other oral sex and then, eventually, get to the point where you eventually have genital sex. It could also be that, deep down (unconsciously) you feel that you ought to be married before having sex. I have been aware of instances when that is the deep down problem and after the person was married, no problem! It's kind of different things with different people when this sort of thing happens. Just somehow try to get in touch with your deepest feelings and get at why this is happening. Keep at it! Don't panic, relax and go at it objectively like you would if you were, for example, working on some math problem or working on your car, etc. Take care and hang in there.
     
    #5 HerHubby, Nov 3, 2006
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2006
  6. Joe

    Joe
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    I think HerHubby is on the right track. It sounds like a psychosomatic problem to me; I just think it's more a case of your past failures on the mind, and it can be difficult to get past that. I'd bet that a couple doses of Viagra, used the way I suggested above, would restore your confidence and get you on the right track. It would certainly be much easier, cheaper and quicker than psychoanalysis.
     
  7. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Joe's idea sounds like a good plan to me.
     
  8. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Speaking of Viagra, a few years ago, a weather system came through our area which greatly irritated the lungs of many people. It really irritated my lungs and I found it difficult to breathe for a few days. One morning, after a difficult night, my wife decided to take me to our physician again because I had been having so much trouble breathing. As we drove over there, I had to prop my head on a pillow in the car. When we got to the physician's office, I sat, propped up in a chair while they went to arrange to get me right in to see a Doctor. One of the receptionists brought some water to me. It was in a cup which said, "Ask your Doctor about VIAGRA!!" As I sat there, struggling to breathe and read that cup, I started laughing hysterically, as best I could while wheezing! My wife, worried about me, asked me why in the world I was laughing. I showed her the cup and she started laughing too! Here I was, struggling to breathe, and this cup was talking about a sex aid! Ironically, I learned that Viagra was originally developed as a heart medication, to improve circulation and when they found out about it's, uh, um, OTHER effect, they marketed it as an ED medication instead of as a heart medication! So, Viagra WOULD have been good for me at that moment! Anyway, as I laughed about the Viagra, I cheered up and KNEW that I would manage to survive! Thankfully we haven't had any more weird weather patterns like that one since then! If we ever do, I'll ask my Doctor about Viagra! ;>
     
  9. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Take a break from the rubber! Dump the condom for a while! Or maybe even go on a "sex fast" for a week or so! Maybe you are demanding too much of yourself! Or, maybe you need to try a new girl! Or even a menage-au-trois!
     
  10. willieb4257

    willieb4257 New Member

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    thanks guys, really great advices, from all of you.
    viagra would def. help, but no health insurance and limited income = no viagra.
    is there any generic version, or herbal supplements that you might have heard of that work?
    also, ive read that it might be performance anxiety, and since i do masturbate, quite often,lol, it might have ann effect with my erections during sex, although i think its just my head playing tricks on me...
    and the girl is different then my previous ones, different race. so that might also have something to do with it.
    i just dont wanna gp at it again, and go homo and not being able to have sex....

    thanks again
     
  11. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I would look at any medications including prescriptions, over the counter medications, and any drugs (legal or otherwise) are you taking that are not prescribed for you. Also I would look at the amount of alcohol you drinking as alcohol can play a part in this issue and if you are drinking on a regular basis you do not nessary need to have a drink right before for it to cause a problem.

    Personally I would elimate the stamina medication, drugs, all alcohol and if you are taking prescription medication consult with your doctor before stopping them. If the problem still has not resolved itself I would look at it from a psychological stand point. Meaning is there a fear (e.g. getting your SO pregnant) such that it prevents you from entering her?

    Without a full medical investigation and possible psychological investigation you will not find the issue to this problem.
     
  12. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    "GO HOMO"?
    Is this on your list of alternatives? "HOMOS" as you say suffer from erectile dysfuntion too! Personally I'm straight as a walking hard-on. I have experienced moments of "not getting it up" now and then at all stages of my life. The reasons include a girl I couldn't relax with, myself being tuckered, too much booze, too many sessions in a short period of time. But these cases of stopping the party for moment never made me think I should "GO HOMO"! R-U being serious?
     
  13. willieb4257

    willieb4257 New Member

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    you took it ouf of a context. i meant homo, as me being in bed with a naked hot ass sexy girl and i could not get it up..relax bro..
     
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