can't get hard

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by blitzkrieg, Feb 5, 2006.

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  1. blitzkrieg

    blitzkrieg New Member

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    First time here and I'm kind of desperate for an answer.
    Let me explain:
    Normally, I can get hard fine with porn or even if I'm talking to a girl on the net or on the phone and she's going to come over. The problem is that when she gets here, I can't get hard. We've tried oral, masturbation, porn - a bunch of stuff - but it just doesn't happen.
    Like I said, I don't have a problem except when a women is over.
    Any ideas?
    About 20 minutes ago could have been a lot more enjoyable...
     
  2. pussycat69

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    Maybe it's not the right girl,or maybe you're not ready right now for one on one.Maybe there is some way you can ease into it?You probably want to,but got used to doing it with the mystery of it(not having the girl right there---more like fantasy),now you have her in front of you....
    Maybe you need to get to know her better,feel more comfortable...
     
  3. blitzkrieg

    blitzkrieg New Member

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    Well her and I dated about two years back, and she was the first girl that I was with. I think what you said about "feel more comfortable" makes sense, as, while I certainly want to, I didn't really 'fell' excited or looking forward to it or anything.
    Hmm.
    I'll try quitting porn for a while ><
     
  4. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    I wouldn't quit the porn mate!

    Pussycat's comments made a lot of sense in my mind.

    The positive thing about your predicament is that you know that you have no physical problem at all.

    Reading between the lines of your posting, is it right that this potential difficulty is in your mind from the very moment you meet your girlfriend?

    If so that will only make it a viscious circle.

    You both need to take off the pressure off genital performance. As Pussycat said, get to know each other really well.

    Although you mention trying loads of things, all of the ones that you mentioned are directly aimed to make you hard. That in part just adds to the pressure on you to perform.

    Why not try a lot of sensual kissing with no pressure to take it further. Relax with some nice cuddling and kissing and it would be my guess that you might find yourself rising unexpectedly.

    And finally, if you don't know each other sufficiently well, to be able to make each other laugh and giggle, then it is definitely all to serious and pressurised. And even perhaps she is the wrong partner for you.
     
  5. blitzkrieg

    blitzkrieg New Member

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    Brad - good point. When I come to think of it, the only times that I've had trouble are when we've tried to "jump right in". However, whenever I'm someone during a night/spending time/whatever, then moving onto sex, I don't have this problem.
    We did try some kissing, and I even got up and went to the bathroom to 'chill out' for a minute, but that didn't help. I think the reason is all she wanted to do is fuck and didn't have any paitence.
    What gets me is that I even recommended this! This being not jumping right in.

    Thank you both - I'll try these out. ;)
     
  6. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Honestly mate, from what you've just said, I really do think your problem is much less to do with you.

    I do wonder if you are picking the right partner.
     
  7. blitzkrieg

    blitzkrieg New Member

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    I don't. The girl that most of this has been in reference to is bad news all around, but, you know..
     
  8. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    The girl is "bad news all around" says it all for me mate!

    Whilst her "Go for me, fuck me now" approach might be the dream of most men, it definitely doesn't suit all men.

    I think you have resolved your own situation.

    I hope you find a girl that is more sensitive to you and to what you want.

    My partner is exactly the opposite to yours. But after 12 years of marriage with her, okay it was perhaps a slow start on the sexual side, but boy do we now feel relaxed to share ourselves in comfort without pressure.

    That is worth everything to me.
     
  9. pussycat69

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    Brad,I couldn't have said it better myself. :)
    blitzkrieg...i hope when you do succeed,or change partner...that's it's AWESOME.Good luck :)
     
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