Cant finish.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by justtom, Oct 26, 2006.

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  1. justtom

    justtom New Member

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    I have what seems to be a rather unique, or at least underreported, problem. I always hear of guys that cant last, come too early, etc etc but Im the exact opposite. I can go for an hour or more, each and every time. The problem is I cant come. My partner is trying to be supportive and understanding, but she has her limits. I mean, how long can you last before you start chafing, you know what I mean?

    I try to get off by thinking of situations that turn me on, and eventually this works; at least it did. The last 3x we were together she eventually told me to stop before I was done. This is so embarrasing and painful that I cant bring myself to talk to anyone about it. Its also destructive to the relationship. I have a lot going for me but I am reluctant to get into a relationship because this always happens. Eventually she will get tired of it and leave. It has happened before. This problem is killing me and I dont know what to do.

    I will wait for responses before I post anything else. I dont want to bore you to death with pages of reading.

    Basically Im wondering if anyone else has ever had this issue, what can be done about it, or what else about me you need to know.
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    You're not alone. I've had the problem and still do from time to time. It's not uncommon at all with older guys, but I first experienced it in my late 40s after 12-14 years of no sex. Since I wasn't having sex during my mid-to-late 30s and most of my 40s, I'm not sure exactly when it began, but I suspect it was brought on by pituitary problems I had in my mid 40s. At least that's the first time I was treated for it -- marginal testosterone levels. I get a testosterone replacement shot once per month, and I think that helps but doesn't cure the problem completely.

    It's a minor difficulty in our bedroom for us too. My wife would like a "quickie" now and then, but we seldom go for it, because my quickies take a half hour. Of course it also cuts down on the number of back-to-back sex sessions, because subsequent efforts very often end without the big bang.

    I seldom, if ever, have the problem with first time morning or afternoon sex; it's usually evening sex or when going for seconds or thirds in the same day. Rest is important.

    I suggest you talk to your doctor about it. I have an appointment to see an endocrinologist next month and plan to discuss it with her. It's nothing to be ashamed of and could certainly be worse.

    At least we both get strong erections and can satisfy our partners. In fact, my "problem" seemed to be appreciated by several women who I had relationships with before my wife and I got together. I heard comments like, "Wow! How do you do that?" and "My gawd, you're a superstud!" I kept my date book pretty full.

    One thing you didn't mention in your first post that might be relevant is your age.
     
  3. pirouette

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    Justtom,
    Is this also the case when you masturbate? Or do you finish faster? How old are you? Even though you may not always cum, is the sex enjoyable?
    First, may I suggest looking for a partner with a high sex drive, who might enjoy hours of sex? Some women would call you a gift from god. ;)
    Second, getting a check up is a great suggestion.
    Third, I think it might be in your head. You said that fantasizing helps you get there a lot faster......this implies you have some sort of mental block, not a physical problem.
    Good luck to you.
     
  4. justtom

    justtom New Member

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    Thanks for that reply. It really means a lot to me to know that Im not alone. I havent told her that Im looking for help about this yet, but I know shell appreciate the effort.

    As far as my age, Im in my early 30s, and have been having the problem since my mid 20s. My testosterone tends to run pretty high. I enjoy the sex, but it hurts my partners feelings when she feels like she cant satisfy me. During masturbation, which I rarely do right now thinking that it may be part of the problem, I finish within 10 minutes. For personal reasons I went for long periods of time without a girlfriend and masturbation was all there really was. Can that be part of it?

    Honestly, thanks for your input. Sincerely
     
  5. Joe

    Joe
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    Sure masturbation practices could be a part of it, especially current masturbation. When you masturbate you can have a lot more friction than you get from intercourse, and that can desensitize your penis. And if you do it within 24 hours or so of having sex with your partner, you're asking for trouble.

    I've read that roughly 10 percent of men have inorgasmia or delayed orgasm, but for those who masturbate face down the percentage goes way up, maybe over 50 percent. If you masturbate, don't do it face down! I don't masturbate unless I'm pretty sure my wife won't be available for sex for a couple days or more.

    Alcohol and drugs can also cause inorgasmia or delayed orgasms. My wife and I sometimes ... *looks around* ... smoke a little weed. While it helps me to have "full body orgasms", it can make ejaculation much more difficult.

    I can usually tell when my wife has had enough, so if that happens (at around 30 minutes) I'll just say, "I think wearing out; how about you?" And I always get the same wrong answer: "I think we both are."

    But by all means, see your doctor and ask for a referral to see a urologist. It could be a flag that something is amiss with your plumbing, maybe your prostate, maybe something else. When your car starts making funny noises you probably have it checked out. Do the same for yourself.
     
  6. sexual Trex

    sexual Trex New Member

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    i got the same problem. but as long as i remember i always took a while to cum (since i was 12 and discovered the magic of spankin it) most girls ive been with love me cuz ill fuck them all night long till the sun comes up.. best way to get a six pack heh i discovered part of my problem, i always thought i was just an average white boy and im supposed to wear the regular sized condoms gf told me to try magnums, low and behold they fit. and i definitly feel more now i still last ATLEAST an hour...

    heres a couple things i tried doin, stop jerking off, but feel yourself up just try to avoid alot of friction, think about your girl all day, then when your with her check her out constantly make yourself as horny for her as possible, then definitly have some foreplay before sex... if ur dick isnt absolutely ready to explode then id see what a doctor had to say

    hell if i did that id cum somewhere between 3 or 4 ounces of jizz... which no matter what they say, i havent met a girl that didnt completely desire to get cum all over her
     
  7. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    How old R-U? All us over 40 have this situation. It's not a problem. There's no law obliging you to come! Just have fun, take your girl to heaven, and ten quite when you're tired!
     
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