Can't Break The Cycle

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by LordOfChaos, Jan 26, 2014.

  1. LordOfChaos

    LordOfChaos Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2012
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
    Good evening from chilly Sheffield, England!

    I've been out with a lady a few times, and the last couple of weekends, I've stayed at her house for the night. Things have been going great - she's cooked and fed me, we have a few things in common and have similar senses of humour. However, sex has reared it's head, and she's managed to freak me out with it.

    This seems to be a recurring thing with different women I meet:

    We get on great, have nice times, and it's usually me who's pursued them, which means I must find them attractive. Yet, last night, because I was too tired to have sex and just wanted to sleep (we'd done it the night before, and that morning, so it's not as if we were never having it!) due to getting up early-ish after a late night, the immortal question of 'do you still fancy me?' came out.

    Bearing in mind we've only been 'seeing' each other for just over a month, I haven't had time to go off her, if indeed I ever would! She's gone from being this amazingly confident, mature (she's 38, I'm 32) and carefree lady to an insecure teenager. I'm starting to think it's something I'm doing as this is about the third or fourth woman that's done it to me. She seemed offended when I asked if she was being serious. I was just so taken aback by such a question, not to mention tired, that I couldn't think of any other reaction.

    She also kept apologising for being 'rubbish' yesterday because we didn't do anything all day. I went and got papers in the morning, then lounged about watching tv, drinking tea, eating and talking... which I kept trying to tell her was like a perfect Saturday for me, but she didn't seem to accept that I was being truthful. Just when I think I've found an emotionally stable lady, she ends up like all the rest! What do I do?
     
    lbushwalker likes this.
  2. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,247
    Likes Received:
    787
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I will hazard a guess you ended up finding someone who wants more from you.
    I'll say that without being offensive .... but men are men, women are women, just a generalized statement.
    In the end no matter the appearances of either gender the common traits show up.
    This thing of considering a future with someone seems to come sooner in women from experience.
    From that I would offer to consider it sooner than you intend to so you get a better idea and not be at a loss about it.

    While I quite enjoy unattached fun I also don't want to mislead, or be mislead.
    Saying all that to you with this idea in mind, Good luck.
     
  3. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,963
    Likes Received:
    5,074
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    LOC, it is perfectly ok, just go with the flow.
    Initially the woman found it fun to be with you but very soon starts falling in love which is way quicker than you appear to hence the sense of apprehension by the lady.
    She is already afraid of losing you even before it has even begun for you. The idea that you don't want or need to fuck her brains out repeadly is seen as loss of interest.
    Perhaps you could appreciate that these ladies have experienced such " rejection" as they perceive it a number of times before.
    You did well to placate those anxieties as you did, but just don't read too much into them.