Can sex get worse the longer you do it?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Godiva, Sep 27, 2011.

  1. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    I recall reading numerous times that sex gets better with time / the longer you are with someone...they read you better, you know yourself better, etc...

    Is it possible, from a physical stand point, that sex can get worse? Like you get desensitized or something?

    OR mentally, you just get bored of them?

    if so, is it common?
     
  2. gettingitin

    gettingitin New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2011
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NC
    Sex can become boring and u can become so use to someone that its like whatever. I dated this girl that honestly she walked around naked so much when at home. It turned me on just to see her have clothes on. lol but hopefully u get the point that u can get use to seeing the same ole same ole. But sex actually should get easier with time that u get to know the person body. U get to know how to turn them on and how to make them cum. What use to take 40 minutes now only takes 20 minutes.
     
  3. almostthere

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    722
    Likes Received:
    233
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southeast
    It should get better with time unless you get bored with tour SO.
     
  4. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,509
    Likes Received:
    4,408
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    Sweetheart,
    I'm not sure if this is because that's what you're going through or because you're curious but so I may be making an ass of myself by going into this but..

    You need to relax and just enjoy sex. I know with your current circumstances that it may be hard to do that but the more you over-think it, the more you dwell on the "what if's", the more you'll start to dislike sex all together.

    Now, to answer your question. I don't think sex can get worse, I think mentally you can just get tired of it. Unless of course the other half is just not trying anymore, then sex can TECHNICALLY get worse.
    It's extremely common for people who are doing the same routine sex to get bored and need something to spice up the love life.

    You're young though, I truly hope this isn't happening for you :(
     
  5. bt1257

    bt1257 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Messages:
    91
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm amazed that people don't get bored of having sex with the same person after a couple of weeks.
     
  6. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Why does that amaze you? Sex with the same person means that you two can learn over time how to please one another, experience new things together and I think that is the best. Whereas a stranger may not know what you like and just piss you off cos they're "doing it all wrong". Also when there is an emotional bond people seem to put in more effort.

    I think it's a psychological issue, not necessarily that you're bored of him per se. But that you're thinking "Is this really it?".. "Is this as good as it gets?"

    Don't think those thoughts when you're having sex.

    Maybe it's time you two went in another direction, try something new. Talk about some different things you want to try with your partner.
     
  7. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2011
    Messages:
    148
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    UK
    I agree with Almostthere.

    I dont know how people can have one night stands, because there are no feelings involved, just lust and then possibly huge regret afterwards.

    I would have have thought that would have been the case because I have been with my partner for some time. We have alot of sex in the week, normally, it would get monotonous. But I think that there has to be strong attraction between the two of us. Afterwards, I always want more! I think is is because we understand each other and know what eachother likes, hence why we probably want more when we have it.

    I agree wholeheartedly with what Untamed is saying :)
     
  8. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Why?
     
  9. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    I've never read sex gets better with time, and I've always understood the converse to be more likely. Unless one works at variety and exploring boundaries, there are only so many positions and variations. So it does become a bit of the same old thing.

    For us, variety is different rooms of the house, outdoor sex (now that the weather is warmer again), role-play and a bit of BDSM.

    If sex got better and more enjoyable as a natural course of events, there wouldn't be so many affairs! But given half of adults, and that's a very conservative estimate, have extra-relationship sex, this shows that time together is not the be-all and end-all.
     
  10. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    mitt- I'm not really going through it, as i haven't had sex in nearly 3 months now. But i forgot what it feels like.
    But what i do remember is that since sex sensations have been slowly diminishing…and i wonder if i'm broken or something.

    Untamed- Yeh i think people hype up sex too much.

    Cbrmale- i think i mean this from a female standpoint, as virgin to newly sexually active. First time HURTS, and you don't know what your doing. I've learnt a lot…and so things got good but i just think that i can't feel much anymore…from what i can remember…it's been a while. And i'm not motivated to change that for many reasons. But terrific point, i do not believe humans are wired to be monotonous, i believe humans are CONDITIONED to be monotonous. Not the same thing, and against nature…for most people (read males).
     
  11. Maverick

    Maverick Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    569
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington State
    Sex is really, really over rated. I'm pretty chill, and can go months, even years without it, because it doesn't make my world go round. Just find what you want, and do it.

    Don't look at words as something to hold you down or label you. If you want to go fuck around for 10 years, go for it. I call you living free, others will call you a slut. Fuck em....well, don't give them that pleasure. LOL.
     
  12. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    Right now i don't really desire to "fuck around" for 10 years or anything...That's not really what i'm saying. But i see what you're saying. It's a lot harder for a religious female to be sexually liberated. But that's another topic all together.
     
  13. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I wouldn't mind reading if you posted about that.

    "Fucking around" makes it sound so futile and unpleasant. I think more along the lines of "going down a road of sexual desire and discovery"

    Sex isn't a huge part of a relationship only if you make it out to be and are noticeably annoyed by the lack of it.
     
  14. Plate

    Plate Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2011
    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    4
    if you let it get monotonous it can. Mix it up, just cause you have the same ingrediants, don't mean you have to fix the same dish.
     
  15. cgh

    cgh New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2011
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southern California
    I think sex is kind of a barometer for the rest of your relationship. It can get stale if you let it. It doesn't pay to let resentments fester. If you flirt with each other and try to keep your relationship fresh and genuine, spiked with a little humor and sense of adventure, you can get better and better together.
     
  16. Godiva

    Godiva Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Australia
    untamed- i'm surprisingly not that upset about being sexless right now. My fear of pregnancy, and feelings of guilt, far outweigh my desire for sex. People should only have sex if they are ready and responsible, i believe. And i don't believe i'm in the right place atm.

    So mostly people are saying that it's a mental thing? Not physical?
     
  17. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    783
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I had hit that point before when I'd last long to the point I get tired and lose my erection but so determined to orgasm during intercourse.
    I can't last this long anymore LOL
    Also things got worse while giving oral, my ex used to take so long, and she was not patient. I know it was not the talent, I have wowed myself driving a nice lady wild from it. Yes things can get boring and long, less fun.
     
  18. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    783
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    Reading the other replies and from another standpoint, sex can get boring even when trying to spice it up, someone used to try so hard, in fact too hard, it was not fun anymore, I didn't enjoy sex. Maybe I had become a grump with her sexually.
    With the right chemistry and right partner sex can be satisfying for a long time even without the fireworks despite the ups and downs.
     
  19. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Actually, almost as many women as men are unfaithful these days, and this is put down to a combination of reliable birth control and female sexual liberation. Although, even in the unenlightened fifties, about a third of married women were unfaithful (surprised?). Now it's almost half or maybe more than half, of women in a relationship are unfaithful.

    I studied anthropological psychology, and in most of the societies we looked at, women were expected to be unfaithful. They didn't have male-line property inheritance, so it didn't matter who the biological father of her offspring was. So these women were married and openly had extra-marital sex. Indeed, we even came across primitive society gang-bangs (one women and several men).

    Nonetheless, it is possible to make sex rich and fulfilling, although my background was a large number of partners before I settled down. I am still of the belief that it's best to have a a number of sexual partners in life to learn, to understand, and to gain confidence.
     
  20. hoonos

    hoonos New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2011
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Back to the original question.
    Without going into specifics, when I was younger, I could do it all night.
    Now that I'm older, it often takes ALL NIGHT just to do it.
    (and, sometimes it never gets done)
    :ugh