can affairs/ brief encounters spice up a relationship

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by justaniceguy, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

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    do you think if you have been in a relationship for years having affairs and brief encounters can spice it up and make it better?????????????......my wife reckons it could do......
     
  2. daintyfemme

    daintyfemme New Member

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    I don't know...
    Some of my friends do that and yes it works. But some other got ther marriage ruinedbecause of that, so, maybe it's cliche but it really depends
     
  3. sarad

    sarad New Member

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    I think this very much depends on the people involved. I know it didn't help me. The guy I was with for a decade thought it might, so we went to a bar and picked up a random woman. While I did have fun kissing her and whatnot, it wasn't something I actually wanted to go through with. I told both of them I would really rather not go home and have sex with a stranger and my fiance. They didn't listen to me, so I spent the night on our patio listening to them have sex. We broke up not too long after that for many reasons, but that night was one that made me realize a lot of those reasons.

    I'm not saying that affairs and brief encounters could not spice up someone's relationship. Just didn't help mine. And if it does look likely to happen, make sure everyone involved is okay with everything that goes on.
     
  4. Luvinlife7189

    Luvinlife7189 New Member

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    For the last four months I have been communicating ALot with another man by telephone , texting and letters. We didn't actually physically see each other until this past weekend. I can tell you that just the communication with someone else made my sex drive for my husband go to a whole different level! Maybe it's not the right way to do it but as long as my husband is reaping the rewards so be it! If he knew what was making me this way I don't think he would be to happy tho!! As for sharing our bed with another woman ... I don't think so!!
     
  5. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    If your wife thinks that, then that is the end of the marriage if I am honest. It sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it.

    I posted on a similar post of yours, this could open a whole can of worms, if you allow her to have this encounter, she will then think you have given her a hall pass to have a full blown affair.

    Spice things up with one another ONLY.

    Abstain, tease eachother in the abstinence, role play, sexting, saycy emails etc.
     
  6. 1hotmamma420

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    undefined
     
  7. 1hotmamma420

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    I think it goes 50/50 on this one. I have seen it work and then others do more harm. Was this her suggestion? If so maybe she isn't feeling the best about herself and needs that confidence boost.
     
  8. Kermit

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    Never underestimate a woman's jealousy, it can be both irrational and illogical but very intense, same goes for men of course but still. So even if you agree it may do more harm than good.
     
  9. almostthere

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    Would your other half have to know? Im just asking if that would change the outcome. Im really thinking of crossing the line and often wonder if it would help things out here at home. Tough question. I know I would be devastated if my wife cheated and when I think of it it stops me dead in my tracks. But maybe if she did and I didn't know and it made her more sexual?
    hmm
     
  10. almostthere

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    But then I check out hotmamas pix and I think.......................lol
     
  11. Luvinlife7189

    Luvinlife7189 New Member

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    I can't imagine doing it knowing that my husband would find out but it definantly has spiced up our sex at home and in the past I have had reason to believe that he was messing around and it made me step up my game!! Keeps everyone on their toes.... Or backs ... Or knees ... Lol
     
  12. hubbywubby

    hubbywubby New Member

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    I thinks its all about trust. If you do it once you do it twice... It may take time but the times will me less and less. You will eventually collapse... I dont think its a good idea. Your leaving out a lot of possibilities. One you may start to have feelings for the other person. Now your in trouble. I mean sex is a great thing and we all live for it. However you should not get in a relation ship if you want roll with others. Even if you have an agreement I doubt in the long run it will work...
     
  13. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    We have been together for a while, and just find having an affair and brief encounters just with each other can work wonders. :)
     
  14. Meow181

    Meow181 Active Member

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    Definitely yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Depends on why the encounter occurs
    Ive been married 27 years and with my partner 33 years...
    Had I not ventured down the encounter line I would of left
    It saved out marriage. Had my first encounter 1 yr ago.
    If this is what is decided by either partner it needs to be purely for a fark fest not a emotional crutch or attention seeking from a neglected spouse...
    Keep yr eyes on the ball boys or youll loose us wives...
    Its both sided...
     
    #14 Meow181, Nov 17, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2011
  15. backcheck64

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    I agree with the relationship being at it's end. If urges for others are present, you guys aren't right for eachother. I've been married to my wife for 24 yrs, together 29...and we have no desire for anyone else. We spice it up with doing it in different places, toys, etc. What you're asking is, is it ok to cheat...never.
     
  16. lbushwalker

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    I'm 50/50 on this one..........no wait, instead call a (girl) friend!
     
    #16 lbushwalker, Nov 17, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2011
  17. cbrmale

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    Having affairs has spiced up my home sex life and my wife appreciates my greater sexual enthusiasm. I have spoken to a few women who have had affairs and all told me that having sex with someone else made their home sex life better. Even those who have been married for 24 years and have no desires (etc) will almost certainly notice a difference if they cross over to the other side. When you do go all the way, it's like a great weight lifted from you.

    Most men and women who have affairs get caught out because this greater enthusiasm for their partner in general, and for sex with their partner in particular. I got caught, a woman who is debating to have an affair with me discovered her husband's affair the same way, and quite a few other married women I have had sex with as well. So noticeable was it that these wives had affairs (or are thinking to have affairs) not for revenge, but to see if the invigoration worked on them (mostly it did).
     
  18. Alwayslearningsex

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    All the same in my opinion, depends on who the two partners are, whether there are issues with either, how good the relationship is, how each partners' views are with regards to doing it.