Can a virgin have a fetish/fantasy/etc?

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Rocky73, Mar 12, 2012.

  1. Rocky73

    Rocky73 New Member

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    Okay here is the deal...I am 18 and a virgin by choice up to this point. I don't plan on waiting until marriage,etc. I have had only a couple boyfriends but I honestly don't take guys my age seriously because they are so immature. The farthest I have gone is making out and touching in just our underwear, fingering me, giving him a handjob,etc.

    I am a pretty quiet person except when I am with my close friends. But...I can already tell I am (or rather will be) feisty in the bedroom from how I have been when hooking up....

    I am not that short, about 5'4" or 5'5" but I am extremely attracted to guys that are much taller/older than me. (My last boyfriend was 6'3") I like being lifted/roughed around by someone alot larger/older than me. I can easily see myself with someone in their 30s if the chemistry was there.

    Also, would it be a bad idea to lose my virginity to someone a lot older (and therefore more experienced)? Or should I "try out" people my age?
     
  2. Alwayslearningsex

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    There are different ways ty look at it so in reality it's yours to choose.
    You may go with an older guy, not too old but again you decide, for experience. One point to consider, how do you want to remember the time you lose your virginity? Someone who matters or someone you don't see again? I like the fact you played in other ways before going all the way, touching and foreplay, so things should not be too strange.
    If the guy you choose is not experiened (with a virgin as well) don't be afraid to take the lead and make sure he gets you lubricated and aroused, and goes in slow. In my case for example I did it twice, each time going in little by little. Still hurt, but it gave time to get used to the stretching before inserting deeper. Maybe had to because of thickness.
    Some may decide to give one thrust and get it done, If you can do you choose again how you want.
     
  3. Alwayslearningsex

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    The title of your post, asking if a virgin can have a fetish or fantasy.
    WHY NOT? It's not an acquired right, it's a desire or idea.
     
  4. Rocky73

    Rocky73 New Member

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    Thanks, you got me thinking more about what I do (or do not) want when I lose it. As far as age, I want to lose it to someone older but not by alot(early 20s; most of my friends are that age). Ah yea I'm super tight so hopefully the first time goes well...

    ^yea I guess my title doesn't make much sense. I just feel weird for having such a sex drive/curiosity and not even having sex yet xD
     
  5. Dragon_Fire

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    I was a bit confused about your title as I was have had dirty fantasies since childhood.

    As to the age of your partner, I got involved with a man 6 years older than me when I was 19 and even though my family thought he was too old, 6 years is really not much at all. In many ways I was probably the more mature one.

    First time sex need not hurt. If you've using tampons or masturbating you've probably broken your hymen years ago. If it does hurt at all, I would suggest it would only due to rushing it or nerves. Even mature, experienced women can have the occasional bad sex.
     
  6. Rocky73

    Rocky73 New Member

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    I'm a long distance runner and I use tampons (although don't really need to) so I think my hymen is probably broken. But I'm still tight.
     
  7. Dragon_Fire

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    Unless she's had children (and not gotten herself back into full condition), any woman can be "tight". Regular sex doesn't make a woman "loose". However, if a woman is nervous or not ready for sex, it can hurt. The main reason why sex doesn't hurt an experienced woman is because she's relaxed and anticipating it with eagerness, not nerves.

    Virgins - or women with bad sexual experiences - sometimes feel pain because they tense up and clench their vaginal muscles to stop the penis from entering easily.
     
  8. Rocky73

    Rocky73 New Member

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    Thanks, I would only lose it to someone who made me feel comfortable so hopefully that won't be a huge problem.
     
  9. LilBAM

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    You shouldn't! :) I fall under the same category. I haven't found anyone to lose my virginity to yet, but there's always fantasies and fetishes that turn you on. It's nothing to feel weird about at all.
     
  10. tonixo

    tonixo New Member

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    when i was a virgin, i certainly had fantasies. and i don't think it'd be a bad idea to lose your virginity to an older guy- that's understandable. boys around 18 are just annoying -_- a relationship with a guy a little bit older is far more fun! at least for me
     
  11. cbrmale

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    First with the title there is a difference between a fantasy and a fetish. Perhaps before first-time sex, thinking about fetishes is putting the cart before the horse. But fantasies, whatever your turn-ons from vanilla sex to kinky, are okay. I don't recall fantasies before I had sex, but I did experiment a lot after that time with some interesting women.

    My first-time partner was 12 years older than me, and I think I had the easiest first-time of any man! It gave me a lot of confidence which I carry to this day. It was that important, and male confidence is probably more important (we are the ones who have to get hard, to last long enough and so on).

    Dragon Fire makes a good point about nerves, tightness and relative pain. Sex isn't painful, even breaking the hymen if done right, but if nervous - well! Been there with a virgin and it was not pleasant, but if she had been more relaxed it would have been better. As a very experienced partner I could still only do so much, the rest was inside her head. She was comfortable with me, we were engaged after all, but it didn't help much.

    As a very experiened partner I knew I would fit regardless, so unlike an inexperienced man I did it anyway, and we didn't have five or six attempts at her first time. One steady push, and then it was better after the sting. Next time next day was good.

    I hope it works out when the time is right.