Break up

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by p00shy, Aug 25, 2007.

  1. p00shy

    p00shy New Member

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    Can you, the people of SF, give me some ways or ideas that i can break up with my girlfriend without much damage. she says she loves me and i did love her but lately shes been nothing but pissing me off lately. and before we even went out, she got drunk and slept with some random guy from work. this was only 1 week before we started to go out. shes my first girlfriend but shes just not the right one for me. im asian and shes white and i just cant stand her anymore. she drinks (underage) and flirts with so many guys that it makes me angry but she expects me to put up with it. im tired. please help. :bow :bow :bow
     
  2. Hope80

    Hope80 New Member

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    If shes the kind of person that gets really really angry during confrontations (rage problems)...You might want to lie about your breakup reasons...Make it sound as if you lament your situation but you think she can do better...any kind of bullshit you can. Ppl that are THAT blatantly rude and insensitive are not the best ppl to be told what kind of people they are, they never handle it well. Just tell her you have to focus on your studies, just something plausable. Make sure to rub in that she can do better and say shes pretty and anything you can come up with, just dont make it into an attack. Leave peacefully and quietly.

    Best of luck!
     
  3. Bluesy

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    "I'm sorry, but I've come to the realization that we just aren't right for one another." You're probably feeling guilty because she says she loves you, but there's no need to feel like you're sending her to the gallows. If you don't love her and don't want to be with her, the longer you perpetuate the myth that you feel the same way, the more damage you do to her. Women can tell. We always know when it's over long before it's over, but many of us will deny it for as long as we can. It makes you feel a little crazy, it's a terrible feeling, to sense that your partner is no longer emotionally invested in the relationship but have no concrete evidence to force you into confronting the truth. Whereas coming face-to-face with the truth, no matter how acute the pain may be at first, is like ripping off the band-aid at once instead of slooooooowly ripping little hairs out of your skin. Intense pain, but then it's over and you begin the healing process. Dragging it out to that point is far more painful, so just go on and do it and then you'll both be free to find someone who genuinely loves you and wants to be with you. You both deserve that.
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I surely couldn't add anything to what bluesy just said. Wise woman, that Bluesy!
     
  5. Barbwire

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    I just reread Bluesy's coments and realized I said exactly what she said, so I edited this post so it just says,

    Good luck!
     
    #5 Barbwire, Aug 26, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2007
  6. Maddox

    Maddox New Member

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    I agree with Bluesy, she normaly has the best advice :D

    And I think it's a good idea you're breaking up with the girl, I could never stay with someone who gets drunk with and/or flirts with many other guys!
     
  7. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I would add one thing to Blusey's comments. Once you brake it off there is a great temptation to soften things. Saying things like "I may feel different after.....what ever. Or things like I still want to be friends. Don't be a friend now, she needs friends that will agree you are a bastard for a while. A year or two be a friend not now. Every attempt to make her feel better will just prolong the pain.
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Again, I'm in Bluseys camp on this.

    Hiker
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    Me too. I had to break up with a lovely young lady about 9 years ago. I loved her personality, but there was just no spark there. I'd almost have rather died than have to break up, because the last thing I wanted to do was cause her pain, but I felt it was just a matter of time before I hurt her. It was better to do it then than later, after we were married and living together, which is where it was headed.

    In your case you don't even seem to like her. Break it off now, simply, honestly. (We all deserve honesty, even when it hurts.)