[BOTH] - My ex broke up .. and I don't know what to do. Advice please?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by D26, Aug 14, 2013.

  1. D26

    D26 New Member

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    I met her in 2009 (She was 15 at the time and I was 14) and since then we connected and started being best friends and all, she had a boyfriend at the time so naturally i wouldn't get evolve between them but at the time I was developing feelings for her and her for me. She eventually dumped him and after 3 days she started dating me :) We dated for about a month, we weren't ready to date each other.

    But in the summer of 2010, we had our both worst summer ever, I lost her (we didn't spoke since that break up) and I lost my two best friends at the time, so I was all alone, and her summer mas marked with the divorce of her parents and because of that she even had sex with a guy (that guy is a ****). I strangly couldn't forget her and she was the strenght that I needed to get out of that depression. So in August I took a chance and start talking to her again (she naturally hated me) but suprisingly she started talking to me, and we've got our friendship back and even better, but she told me that she liked another guy... I naturally was sad, because I loved her and she liked another guy, but because i was a good friend i started helping her and saying that she should do that and this and all, and it worked, she in November started dating him, of course I was sad but happy that she was happy...

    But that is when our story started: He went to bed like really early (10pm) so me and her started talking by msn and skype to 7am, and he had our own private jokes and all. She in November asked me if I help her out in a contest, she dressed up as Beatrix of Harry Potter and did a shoot (she asked me because I was really good at photographs), I acepted and we went to "our place" and in that evening it was like we we're dating, she even hold my hand when she got scared and we've walked with hands hold.

    After that in December I asked her if she could draw some stuff for me to show to my art teacher (that guy hated me lol) and when we met for her to give me drawings, she kissed me near my lips (but it was all kinda awkward, we called that "The Awkward Moment". After that I gave her christmas present, it was a cup full of candy that she liked but she didn't have nothing to give me, so in christmas break we met for her to give me something, in that evening we walked through the city, sometimes holding hands and went to a little almost deserted mall and once again it looked like we dated, i grab her and we were so close i could feel her breath and all.. and we started kissing each other on the face and near the lips, her present for me was a photo of us with the caption saying that "she loved me and she never wanted to be without me". My head back then was a mess because i loved her a lot but i didn't know if she loved me but as she was still with that guy i wouldn't do nothing, but at December 27th i grab all my courage and finally said that i didn't forget her and that i still loved her a lot but as she was with him i wouldn't break them apart and she answered that she really loved me as friend....

    In January13th of 2011, we finally kissed but she was feeling guilty so she stopped that but that break only was until January18th when we kissed again, but the same thing happen a few days after. In February12 i went with her to the mall to buy her valentine's gift and she to buy the valentine's gift for me and for her boyfriend. But in that evening when we came back to the city, we went to her house and i lost my virginity to her. We after started dating and breaking up because she didn't want to betray him but at March3rd she broke up with him and i got on my knees with the moonlight at my face and ask her if she wanted to date me.. and she said yes.

    After that we we're really happy and all, i got a little angry about thay guy she had sex and said bad things and done bad things but we always got up and we we're really happy. Me and her did almost everything together and when she went to college (October 2012) I noticed that started being different, she never was a party girl and she was starting to want stuff like that and started arguing for stupid and small stuff, I admit the most of the things we're my fault and i had a angry issue that is controlled now, which made me say a lot of things bad...

    Two months ago she broke up with me, she said that she was tired of that impulsive things and that she deserved better and that she wanted to be young (by that i suppose partying and stuff like that).

    I literally got my heart broken, i stopped eating and sleeping and i was obcessed with her and trying to know things about her (she deleted me off her facebook but i see her tumblr) and right after she broke up with she went to Algarve for 2 weeks and start having a crush with a bartender there, when she came back she was like really in love with him, and it made me kinda laugh because it was like a soap opera but now she got drunk and she put stuff like my body still feels that sensation if i close my eyes... and i don't know what it means, i don't know if she had sex with another dude or if she really already likes a guy only after 2 months since the break up of a 2.6 years of relationship.

    I wanted to talk to her but she ignored me, but of course i started hiding my ip so she wouldn't find out that i see her tumblr. And yesterday she talked to me saying basically bad things and accusing me of stuff and that we gotta meet to give her stuff back and for her to give my stuff back, she basically hates me... I don't know what to do anymore...

    My head is a mess and my heart is broken. I don't know how to get over her, if she really is over me, if she is hinding something or even if she still likes me but she doesn't want that.

    Sorry for the long post.. but i need some advices...
     
  2. Mittimer

    Gold Member

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    My advice to you? Grow up. This may seem cold but it's clearly what you need to hear. You need to grow up and move on. You're acting like a child. She left you and she moved on. You have no right to virtually stalk her online. She deserves to be happy and to not have you wanting to watch every move that she does.

    You know? She may actually like this guy and she may have slept with him. You know what though? That's none of your business. She's an adult and single so whoever she sleeps with his her own concern. She clearly does not want you. If she's blocked you from various things and get's angry when you two talk, it's because she wants you out of her life.

    2 months is more then enough time to move on, regardless of how long the relationship is. You two are just barely adults and she's gone off to college. She's done you a favor by leaving you. She wants to be young, she doesn't want to be tied down and attempting to have a relationship while someone is off away in college is a ridiculous idea. This is giving her a chance to explore her life, explore being a young adult, explore her sexuality, drink all she wants and do whatever she damn well pleases without having someone to answer to when she gets home.

    Stop trying to view her facebook, stop looking at her tumbler, stop trying to talk to her. Just stop. You say you don't know how to move on but doing these things CLEARLY are not a step in the right direction. Don't meet with her. Have a mutual friend or something exchange the items.

    The feelings you have for her and the way that you are handling them are extremely unhealthy and something you need to stop. There is a difference between love and obsession and you are very, very close to crossing that line.

    Tell yourself shes moved on, tell yourself she has slept with someone else, tell yourself she doesn't want you and be a man and move on. Find someone else, you're the prime age to be exploring your sexuality and being YOUNG. Stop worrying so much about someone else when the person you need to be concerned with is YOURSELF.
     
  3. Meee

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    Don't meet with her to get your stuff back. What stuff? Gifts you gave each other over the years? You don't have to give them back.

    You need to grow up in a lot of ways. Like cheating at school and online stalking. Stand up straight and start respecting yourself as an adult. Start doing adult things too. College? Work? You'll feel better and you'll start looking forward instead of reliving your childhood.
     
  4. lbushwalker

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    D26,
    The first cut is always the deepest; amen!
    Pick yourself off the floor, dust off your bruised ego and venture forth into the world with courage and fortitude well knowing that there are potentially millions more girls of her age just waiting to meet you.
    A few hundred thousands you might find suitable to your taste.
    I still remember my first GF who broke my heart; since seen her from time to time and now very bloody glad she dumped me then although at the time it felt like a buckshot blow to the guts.
    I even considered taking my own life back then and in retrospect that taught me a lot about survival and the value of that wonderful gift; life, living it to the full and loving many, many ladies ;)
     
    #4 lbushwalker, Aug 15, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2013